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This might sound random, but do any of you live near cow farms? Or are any of you dairy farmers in addition to being musicians?

random? no , weird yes, lol... just kiddin ya, nice meeting you. I know a little about cows, very little..

lol, whatcha know about cows?

Nathan,

Can't speak for Louis, but my answer: "Steaks and milk!" Also, a wallet here and there.

Al

rudder rhymns with udder...

The Cow Song
(c) 2006 AB Willis

This is utter nonsense, sitting on a stool
Trying to milk a cow named Bess and feeling like a fool
I must be stuck on stupid, they didn't show me how
It's utterly ridiculous, trying to milk a cow

I breezed in town the utter day, drove right by a farm
Could have gone the utter way I said what was the harm
Got a job went to the barn I guess you know by now
This is utter chaos, trying to milk a cow

I guess you pull on one, then you pull the utter (other)
To get the juice that makes white milk sweet cream and home made butter
Pull and squirt and squirt and pull I'm utterly surprised
I just got some milk from Bess right before my eyes

(repeat first verse)

They are dumber than dirt, and slightly smarter than sheep.

cows aren't dumb! I've met some who were smarter than some folks i've met

did you know they like music?

You mean moo....sic?

What do you call a cow with no legs?....Ground Beef

Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
Because the cow has the udder

What do cows wear in Hawaii? Moo- moos

What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
Decalfenated

Sorry, I can be so immature at times.

Cow comedy....coming at ya!

...I think Nathan's going somewhere with this...

The Cow/Music Test. It seems several years ago someone tested cows about giving milk and listening to music. It seems the cows gave much more milk when listening to Classical Music. When Rock music was played they gave less milk.

Now you have it from the "Horses" mouth. Any more questions?

I think they play them Traditional Country when they want sweet buttermilk

Yeah Bill it matches with their intelligence. LOL
Maybe if they wanted a cool milk shake they would play rock.
Play them chart pop music and they get cheese. No sorry chart stuff has too much cheese already.

"Slightly smarter than sheep" may be another of those lines that needs a song to go with it.

Joe

I live in a farming area, my neighbour has cows, maybe he will pay me to sing to them, maybe not, my singing might sour their milk.

So Nathan you think they are smart, do you? How much time have you spent around them? My personal experience says you are mistaken, but that is my take on the matter. How many animals do you know besides cows and sheep that stand around with their head under the butt end of another only to be covered when the other takes a dump? I do not put them high on my list of intelligent creatures.

Most animals actually respond to music. I used to have an iguana that would bob his head up and down to the beat of music. The old adage that "music soothes the savage beast" has meaning in a literal, as well as, metaphorical sense.

I wonder if it matters where they live
I mean like are Scottish Cows smarter that ...say french....or Spanish. You know...like if they are stuck on an Island like the UK will inbreeding be a problem?

Can we say "take a dump" on here?

There once was a most excellent New Wave band in Minneapolis called The Suburbs. They AAAAAALLLLLLLLLMOST made it big, but didn't quite get over the fence. Here is a classic from their earliest days, "Cows":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkZy4yChJkU

I like the song "cows with guns"

Sheep are pretty smart ... they are however right at the bottom of the food chain and as a fleeing creature, you live in constant fear ... instinct tends to over-ride intelligence for the sake of survival.

Nathan what do you need to know about cows? I live in a rural area...

It's a long way to visit from Nashville... but you are welcome anytime If you just need some BS for a co-worker... I can send you a big bag.... if you COD the postage.. not sure what customs will think though

Cheers

Sorry if I offended you with the "take a d_mp" remark, Bill.

lol, i suppose i have never seen a cow take a dump on another cow's face.

i think a lot of cows are severely mistreated and maybe that has something to do with some of the dumb things they might do.

the same is true of people who are severely mistreated do some things that might not seem smart to the average person.

in concentration camps people did stupid things because they were in horrible conditions.

however i'm not claiming that cows are the smartest animals in the entire world, but when you look at anything as simply "dumb" it certainly makes it a lot easier for us as humans to treat them poorly.

did you see this on CNN recently? http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/01/30/undercover.slaughter.video/

They moo with accents according to the latest research... I wonder if Scottish cows can understand Welsh ones or Greek ones... and visaversa... ???

that's awesome!

I like cows.

Despite never living on a farm, I seem to run into them quite a bit....not literally, of course...

My neighbor had cows before he upgraded to trees. Yes, a tree farm....It smells better anyway.

One day, one of the calfs, calves, little cows broke through the fence and ate my prized flower garden. I went up to him (her) and he (she) just looked at me like, "Yeah? The hell YOU want?"

I've had other experiences - open range (where my wife managed to start a stampede), indian land, wife's parent's farm.....

Don't know a thing about 'em - but I like 'em

Scott

Nooooo offense taken
I do that to everyone
I said Bullshit. That's a little stronger and I didn't offend myself

i like em too

They provide most of our milk, meat and leather, what's not to like. Many people make a good livelihood from them, the west was won because of cows, beef that is. The buffalo lost out though and so did the native Indians, but it was not the cow's fault, just the greed of man.

Yeah looks like the natives lots out pretty huge on that one.

just saw this this morning, made me chuckle a bit.
http://www.palmercash.com/product.asp?3=342

So why exactly are we talking about cows?

it's very important.

i'll share more soon.

OMG>>> They're gunna take over the world and us beef eaters are gunna be made pay!!!!!!!

HIDee Nathan!

This has been a Real Interestin' Thread!

My Uncle Dave had the last round of Our Family Farm...sold it to some Menonites a Decade-back. What little I know came from Childhood Visits, Ages-ago.

Cows are "Herd Animals"...by-nature....Related to things like Wildebeasts in Africa. They're near the Bottom of the Food Chain, so "Grouping Together" is a Survival Skill..& they're Herbivores (With several Stomaches, to convert that Grass..into "Cud"..& eventually into Meat.) (Which is where "Predators" like US come along...heh!) WAS one at the Ohio State Experimental Station when I was a Kid that had a Glass WINDOW-installed so ya could actually WATCH it Main Stomach in-Action!

Let's See..there's "Dairy Cows"...& Others for Meat-Production ("Steers?") Dairy-kind ya get up Crack-of-Dawn to Milk-'Em or they get kinda Hard to Live with...Right? Most Milkin' was done with a Stainless-Steel "Milkin' Machine"..via a Vacuum Pump.., after ya Insert Cow's Head & Neck into a big Rectangular Steel Frame so they'd just STAND There where ya wanted 'em to.

More-Recently, I've learned that as Cows Digest, they in-essence Fart-Away TONS of Methane Gas. Collectively, they actually create MORE pollutioo of the Atmosphere than all our CARS do.

But..I doubt that MacDonald's or Borden's is gonna go belly-up real-soon over it. :-)>

Famous Cow Poem:
"I never saw a Purple Cow
I hope I never see one
But I can tell you here-&-now
I'd rather see than be one"

That's about All this City Kid remembers about the Beauty of Bovines. I like the White with big Black Spots variety that Chick Filet uses in all their Ads...(Guernseys?)...ditto for Gateway Computers.

Oh..there's an Old Thai Proverb (which alas, doesn't hold true): "It is not wise to play music for the cows."

Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Glass WINDOW-installed so ya could actually WATCH it Main Stomach in-Action!

Hey Stan, I saw a film on that when I was in agriculture college.

OK Lets see the songs that come out of this thread about cows. Plenty food for thought and inspiration. I cannot recall many songs apart from nursery rhymes about cows. There is a challenge for you all.

So Stan
Between the Termite farts and Cow farts we have discovered the source of global warming.

Bring back DDT and eat all the cows. POOOF problem solved.
India might have a problem with it though

Bill the GLOBAL WARMING problem is not down to the cow farts or termite farts. It is the old farts BLOWING ALL THE HOT AIR. LOL

haha, cow farts.

i grew up on a horse farm and the horse farts were pretty bad ones too.

Not as bad as mine!!!

Anyway a joke. What is the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish farmer.

The stones say Hey you get offa ma cloud.

The farmer says Hey Mcleod get offa ma ewe.

Haha i like that

Yes, we always had a radio playing music during milking time.

Uh, them's Holsteins.

Uh, Um,
I do use a cow reference in a couple of my songs. Anything that will get a cut. I am not proud.

LOL - Thanks. I needed that

Hoof Hearted
Cause
Ice melted.

We have a daily cattle drive down the middle of old Fort Worth twice every day- Long horn steers. Texas loves cows and pickups and each contribute to more than our share of global warning.

Where do you think all of those beans that cowboys eat go to. Cowboy farts, another global warming problem. Ben

I wrote this about my Dad's Favorite... about 5 or 6 years ago...

Molly Girl

Her big brown eyes are Jersey brown,
It’s a pleasure to watch her move around,
Perfection in her every move,
Loving-kindness her every mood.

Molly Girl, Molly Girl,
It’s a pleasure in her company,
Molly Girl, Molly Girl,
Means so much to me

She never questions what you did last night,
She craves attention but she never fights.
She’ll call you up if you’re running late,
But no matter what you’re doing she’ll wait.

Molly Girl, Molly Girl,
It’s a pleasure in her company,
Molly Girl, Molly Girl,
Means so much to me.

My best friend want’s her for his own,
Will wreck a friendship and a home,
There are some things money can’t buy,
Like my favourite milker and her big brown eyes

Molly Girl, Molly Girl,
It’s a pleasure in her company,
Molly Girl, Molly Girl,
Means so much to me.

Molly Girl, Molly Girl,
Gives sixteen quarts a day,
Molly Girl, Molly Girl,
You’re something special hey.

This thread is too funny LOL!!
Cher