JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 New Song Challenge -- a SWEET one (if that's your pleasure....)

Hey Gang,

Needed an excuse to show my Wanted Poster Face around these parts, so decided it was high time we had a Song Challenge ....

SOOO, given the heavy-handed methods I've employed recently vis-a-vis certain posters and my daughter's Girl Scout Cookie fundraiser (read: Troop Leaders' Marguerita Fund :D), I have decided to deflect any negative karma by starting a challenge ABOUT COOKIES!! Any kind of cookie, in whatever context you'd like. YUM YUM!

While this is a fairly strict parameter, there are actually a whole lot of confections to choose from. While you're going thru your cookie jars, let me start by offering up my very generic serving of -- guess... -- "Cookie".

Please note that while this started out sort of silly, it became sort of bittersweet....Hope you enjoy it!

One of the Instigators of Cookie-Gate (ooh, there's a fun hook for somebody...),
Beth/Boo

P.S. For any newbies, people neither have to participate in nor fear these challenges. There basically just a fun excercise, and if you can squeeze one in between your real work, great, if not, hopefully you can enjoy the offerings. Also, I do try to respond to each entry, but don't go overboard in the "honing" department....so if you think maybe you're entry is worth consideration beyond the confines of this challenge, by all means, start up a new thread on it. I'd be delighted to think an innocuous challenge might inspire something worthwhile.

So again, enjoy -- or shall I say, "dig in"?



"Cookie"
© 2008 Lyrics Beth Williams

Her nickname was Cookie
Oh the boys loved to look-ie
She was happy to give
Whatever they too-kie
Sometimes this meant
A few rounds of nook-ie
No worries for her,
She wasn’t a rookie

Her real name was Doris
But that was a snore-is
Alas pretty soon
They called her a whore-is
She’d do it wherever
The bed or the floor-is
It was never enough
Always, more-more-MORE-is

Cookie
Sweet Cookie
Once sugar and spices
But you kept getting burnt
So you just raised your prices
I worry the fall will be hard when it comes
They’ll be nothing left of Cookie
Except for some crumbs

But for all of her money
She got tired of fun-ny
She’d never found love
Not with anyone-y
Course once in her oven
She’d had a small bun-ny
Had to give him away to be
Someone else’s son-ny

Cookie
Sweet Cookie
Once sugar and spices
But you kept getting burnt
So you just raised your prices
I worry the fall will be hard when it comes
They’ll be nothing left of Cookie
Except for some crumbs


Teenagers, hubbies, old ones, no matter
She’d stopped keeping score,
Her chant “new batter, new batter”!


Cookie
Sweet Cookie
Once sugar and spices
But you kept getting burnt
So you just raised your prices
You thought you’d be able to handle this life-y
Should have rescued you Doris
And made you my wife-y

After I saw your Shoutbox post, I had to look. Very nice. Adds a whole new dimension (I probably should say "layer") to the idea of "Cookie dough," doesn't it?

Joe

Thanks Joe !

I was hoping to "work the dough" into the song somehow (ho ho ho!!), but then I was getting a confused by all my double-entendres, and then they were tripling on me, and then I forgot what I was talking about to begin with....so I ended up using MONEY.

While we're on the subject...and since you've been so nice...I thought I'd share with you one of the heretofore best-kept Girl Scout Cookie secrets of All Time. Just don't tell anyone where you heard it, or I'll have to...uh.., well, kill you and stuff, and that would just totally defeat the purpose!!

So are you ready? Are you sitting down?

WELL, DID YOU KNOW that if you eat a cookie in it's RAW DOUGH FORM, the calories don't count? Yup, it's not really a cookie YET, so the calories haven't had a chance to manifest themselves properly.

And the SECOND secret is about a plot of land I have down in the Everglades....

Back to work...
Bet

OMG.... I feel much less guilty now for all those spoonfuls I took over the holidays! I knew there was a reason I liked cookie dough! And what about brownie batter...now there's something to eat...better than the cooked brownie I say!!!

Your lyric is hilarious! Had me laughing out loud and my husband and sons (who are all into this football game here) are looking at me like, what are you doin'? Anyone who's feelin' a bit down should read your post....you are Hysterical!

Thanks for the smiles! (Oh, and I couldn't possibly come up with anything as creative as that, so no lyric from me - sorry!)

Kristi

I was told (and I believe it was here, where folks are just chock full of Just Plain Knowledge) that if you break the cookie before you eat it, all the calories leak out.

There is a corollary, however. Calories are a measure of *heat*, remember, so all those people letting all those calories leak out is contributing to global warming.

And I would be happy to pass on my spammails on vacation land in Costa Rica if anyone's interested. I probably have a bridge or two we could do a deal on, too.

Joe

Joe,

You are absolutely right. That's how the whole fortune cookie business began here in America. Back in the day, it was said that by cracking open the cookie, all good fortune would come your way. Over time, this phrase was bastardized (listen folks, if you ever have a chance to use a word like that and you don't, well, just shame on you.) to "if you break open the cookie, it'll be GOOD FOR YOU when you get WEIGHED."

As for those bridges, are those the really cute ones, with the palm trees and the little monkeys swinging by? I did read they only connect on one side of the rushing pirahna-filled rapids, but hey, at that price, maybe I'll send my mother-n-law down to check 'em out...

Beth

Dear Kristi,

You are much too humble. In fact, if it helps you along for this song challenge, I'll even broaden the dessert category, for you and you alone, and you can write about "HUMBLE PIE"!

Seriously, glad you had a laugh. Poor Cookie. It's like the old joke, some old geezer introduces his Babelicious gal-pal by saying, "Say hello, Cookie." And she says, without missing a beat "Hello, Cookie." Maybe that's some help for the straight line to funny business Cal's been working on.

As an aside, I actually knew a Cookie-like person in real-life -- that is, the one I just described in the "gal-pal joke". My dad was a judge in a beauty pageant a ways back (don't ask), and he befriended one of the sweet things, and let's say her name was "Kristi", for discussion purposes. (let me interject that since this episode, the afore-mentioned "Kristi" is a wife and mother and good friends with our family...but back to our story....). So after the show, we go back stage to meet everyone, and as a bespectacled, pimple-plagued, and braces-sporting teen at the time, I was dazzled by everyone and everything. Then Daddy-o brings over our friend "Kristi"....and says, as he pulls me over "I'd like you to meet my DAUGHTER, Kristi"...and while perchance she didn't have the time or attention span or savvy to note the COMMA (or my dad might have been stumbling over his words -- who can blame him, tough gig, huh?) she was dumbfounded (hee hee)..."YOUR NAME IS KRISTI TOO? HOW WEIRD IS THAT?" Oh sweet Barbie doll, in more ways than you can probably add without a calculator.

Am I bitter about this experience? No. It has made for a silly little anecdote for literally decades. Also, please know that while this did happen, no real beauty pageant contestants were hurt during the recreation of the scene...

ANYHOO, no prob if nothing comes to you for this one. Like I said, they're just for fun, and because I'm a bit all over the place (duh), I enjoy working with guidelines sometimes...

In the meantime, hope we get some fun "contestants"...how can they not be GREAT if they're about COOKIES? I'm realizing now I've set-up a pre-existing affinity for these songs, so take advantage of it if you can!!

Ciao for now,
Beth

Ok..I'll have one of those! Here's a little ditty with a bit of truth in it. LOL

HE'S COOKIELESS AT CHRISTMAS

She loved to bake him cookies
Filled with TLC
She'd laugh when he'd get orn'ry
Chalked it up to 'mudgeonry
He had a good thing going
He just forgot to return the care
Til one day she stopped smilin'
Said hey..I'm gettin' outta there

CHORUS:
Now he's Cookieless at Christmas
Cause she's gone and left him flat
He's Cookieless at Christmas
No frosting for the cat
He's Cookieless at Christmas
Not even a gingerbread man
He's cookieless at Christmas
And he just don't understand

Now she's found a guy who loves her cookies
An' that's not all from what I hear
When she shares her goodies with him
That man is smilin' ear to ear
Chocolate chip and peanut butter
Gingerbread 'n molasses chews
Snickerdoodles, sugar cookies
That woman knows what's good for you

CHORUS: Repeat

BRIDGE:
A little bit o' 'preciation
Would'a gone a long way with her
And now that he's cookieless at Christmas
That man would probably concur

CHORUS: Repeat

The World I've Come To Know
© words by C. Stewart ( Jan 21, 2008 )


I got eighteen cookies in my mouth
King of the sugar high
All that sweet stuff travels south
Says hello to my thighs

Some are chocolate, and vanilla fudge
I keep them organized
I'm a big bottom boy, I can barely budge
My chair had to be resized

CHORUS....
I live in a land of powered sugar
It's the world I've come to know
Peanutbutter and coconut
Sprinkled on cookie dough

I got a stainless steel, hand made jar
With a push button swivel top
And one in the front seat of my car
So the munching never stops

CHORUS....
I live in a land of powered sugar
It's the world I've come to know
Peanutbutter and coconut
Sprinkled on cookie dough

Bridge...
Some people drink, professors think
Rock stars play too loud
The only thing I want to do is
Float on a cookie cloud

CHORUS....
I live in a land of powered sugar
It's the world I've come to know
Peanutbutter and coconut
Sprinkled on cookie dough

Ben (Willis) will love this thread, in case you haven't noticed he's a cookieholic. Looks like some posters have taken a "real bite" out of this challenge. Enjoyed their tasty morsels.

Country, maybe 3/4 time

***************************
There Are No More Cookies
Kevin Emmrich (c) 2008

(v1) Sittin' at the table
wanting just one more bite
the milk's gone sour
wonderin' "Did she do it for spite?"

(v2) There's clothes in the hamper
and dishes in the sink
The bills are unopened
and I'm close to the brink

(chorus) There are no more cookies
Maybe a few crumbs
and I've thought and I've thought
until I can't think no more
So, can I buy
What I need at a store?

********************************

OK, I need a killer bridge, great music and maybe better lyrics. Except for that, I think it's pretty good (lol).

Kevin

Hee hee hee, Bobbelina,

Having finagled my way into this Cookie Triangle, I got an extra kick out of this one (thankfully, with no added injuries).

Poor Mudge. To have to see literally, all that he's missing.

Maybe when his Girl Scout Cookies arrive, I'll just send him one cookie at a time (bound in bubble-wrap of course)...but nah, he really stepped up to my "guilty mom's solicitation" e-mail.

As an aside, how come the Brownies/Girl Scouts don't sell BROWNIES? I'm going to have to put that on the agenda for the next meeting....

Thanks for playing, missy!

xoxo,
Boo

P.S. BTW, I know I've been a bit of a phantom around these parts lately, but might I ask for more specific details on ths new, albeit-"alleged" enjoyer of your "cookies"?

Well Calvin,

It appears we are kindred spirits in Cookie land!

This was HYSTERICAL. From the very first line (my, my, that is quite an accomplishment, and if I knew you better, I might ask for pictures... ;))...right to the end.

I must confess, my favorite section is:

I got a stainless steel, hand made jar
With a push button swivel top
And one in the front seat of my car
So the munching never stops

This could be the anti-song for all those Weight Watchers out there, counting there portions so meticulously.

Makes me think of Shakespeare's line "If music be the food of love, play on"....I think it should be the other way around..."If food be the music of love, play on"!

Thank you too, for throwing in some alliteration, such as:

I'm a big bottom boy, I can barely budge

Classic stuff, man.

Keep up the good work, and thanks for playing...

Typing with one hand as I munch on a chocolate-covered shortbread with the other,
Beth

I think these are s'posed to be happy but this one's kinda sad. (Well, not as sad as that one from the blonde who lives down south somewhere. "That's" heart breaking. Even worse that Favre not makin' it to the Super Bowl)
Well, so it's got 5 verses. It prob'ly ain't gonna' be a hit anyhow

Cookie Crisis c Wyman Griffith

V 1
There's just a few little crumbs
A few little crumbs an' that's all
I may frame 'em in a picture
And hang 'em up on the wall

C
I'm in a crisis
A cookie crisis
Taste buds beginnin' to die
I'm in a crisis
A cookie crisis
A few more days n'they'll all be demised

V 2
Useta' get cookies from the north
They were good but a long time ago
I guess they must be all stranded
And lost up there in the snow

C
I'm in a crisis
A cookie crisis
Taste buds beginnin' to die
I'm in a crisis
A cookie crisis
A few more days n' they'll all be demised

V 3
One time around the holidays
I got some cookies from the south
I remember them fondly
They way they'd melt in 'yer mouth

C
I'm in a crisis
A cookie crisis
Taste buds beginnin' to die
I'm in a crisis
A cookie crisis
A few more days n' they'll all be demised

V 4
I hear there's cookies to the east
But they may only be a myth
This calls fer' drastic measures
I just can't go on like this

C
I'm in a crisis
A cookie crisis
Taste buds beginnin' to die
I'm in a crisis
A cookie crisis
A few more days n' they'll all be demised

V 5
\Like the pioneers guess I'll go out West
Gonna' find the gold in them thar hills
I'll hire me a cookie cook full time
Then I'm bound to have my fill

C
I'm in a crisis
A cookie crisis
Taste buds beginnin' to die
I'm in a crisis
A cookie crisis
A few more days n' they'll all be demised

HI Lynn,

Good to see ya! And thanks for the heads-up on Ben...somebody will have to track him down .

Glad you've enjoyed the participation so far....again, it's sort of "fluff" stuff, but I think we all need just to have a little lyrical fun now and then.

Feel free to join in!

Chocolate chip cheers,
Beth

Hey Kevin,

I'm enjoying what you have so far, and I think it has the making's of a fun one.

Maybe you could tighten up the chorus a bit, to help get some more direction:

(chorus)
There AINT' no more cookies
EXCEPT FOR MAYBE SOME crumbs
WHAT STARTED OUT SWEET
HAS PLAIN COME UNDONE
SINCE I CAN'T COUNT ON HER
TO GIVE WHAT I NEED
PERHAPS OLE WINN-DIXIE
CAN, JUST DOWN THE STREET

I dunno, just some "food" for thought! Have fun, and I look forward to seeing where you take it....

Thanks for playing,
Beth
What I need at a store?

Well Golly, Mr. Wy (Lloyd/Griffith, whoever you REALLY are!),

Indeed, this does remind me of poor Favre's "demise"...it's sort of a cookie swan song...

I must say I was quite flattered you would put my Thin Mints (et. al.) in the same category as Bobbelina's confections, but you're smart to keep your options open.

Which leads me to your "TRAGIC" last verse:

Like the pioneers guess I'll go out West
Gonna' find the gold in them thar hills
I'll hire me a cookie cook full time
Then I'm bound to have my fill

Simply fantabulous.

My only suggestion would be in your chorus' closing line:

C
I'm in a crisis
A cookie crisis
Taste buds beginnin' to die
I'm in a crisis
A cookie crisis
Just sweet TALK ain't gonna fly


Course, then you lose your association with poor Brett/Bart/Brad, but in the cookie business, we take no prisoners...(BTW, have you ever seen the movie Shrek? And the whole sequence between the torturing King and the tortured Ginger Bread Man? Just for that scene alone you need to see it...).

Anyhoo, CHOW for now, and thanks so much for playing!! Nice to find us both back on the board, for even a few minutes...who'd a thunk it?

Boo

HiDee Mz Beth, & BIG Thanks for Da Contest...WHEEE!

(Your Song was a Dandy..what a shame that Doris was So Porous..heh!)

Hereweeegoooo....


You don't Need to make Criss-Crosses
With the Tines of your Fork..
Those Peanut-Butter-Cookies
Are WAYyy too-Much Work!
I'm a Man of Simple-Pleasures
When it comes to "Sugar Highs":
I'm a Chocolate-Chip..Kinda-Guy!

Yeah, SAVE those Sugar Sprinkles
& those "Silver Cake Petites"
Those Cookie-Cuttered STARS and
Those Green-Frosted CHRISTMAS TREES
A "Big GLOB that Bakes-Up ROUND" is ALL You Gotta Try:
(I'm a Chocolate-Chip..Kinda-Guy!)

(BRIDGE..or Maybe CHORUS?)

Simple & Scrumptious
(NOTHIN'..Pre-Sumptious!)
"Honest..as Home-Made PIE"
BETTER..Than "Store-Bought"
TASTY..(Some MORE Ought
To INCREASE..The SHEER-DELIGHT!)--

So Next Time You're Baking, better
Get The Chocolate Out..
Those Toll-House-MORSELS will
Cancel every Doubt:
You Squeeze YOUR LOVE into Each & EVERY BITE (&)
I'm a Chocolate Chip..Kinda-Guy...
{Don't Be Shy....}

(TAG)
You Keep Things Cookin'..& I'll Stop ON BY 'Cuz
I'm a Chocolate Chip Cookie..Kinda Guy!

(C) 2008 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.

Beth,

Well, thanks for sharing that memorable beauty pageant story ...I really felt like I was *part* of it! ha ha

I'll go ahead and open up HUMBLE PIE to anyone who wants to tackle it...or pecan, cherry, apple or pumpkin for that matter! Tis beyond my reach...

I have to say these other offerings are such fun to read! Such creativity!!

Kristi

Hey Stan!

Just for old times sake, I went and counted....only THREE ampersands in your song! :o What's with THAT?

Anyhoo, thanks for the kudos on my little ditty...but more importantly, glad you could sweeten the pot for us with your addition (this is turning into sort of a musical "Stone Soup").

Specifically, in my mind, if God had wanted us to be thin, he wouldn't have invented chocolate chip cookies. I think I might have read they came in around The Fourth Day (way ahead of Jenny Craig's gang).

Love the way this section rolls off the tongue:

Yeah, SAVE those Sugar Sprinkles
& those "Silver Cake Petites"
Those Cookie-Cuttered STARS and
Those Green-Frosted CHRISTMAS TREES...

I had the same question about Bridge vs. Chorus. Somehow I felt the thought wasn't complete... (though I giggled over your successful inclusion of the otherwise seemingly-tricky "some MORE ought" line....). It seems like the title would be "I'm a Chocolate Chip...Kinda-Guy", so maybe that section needs to focus more on the fella, not the food? Maybe you could combine the two:

LIKE ME, Simple & Scrumptious
(NOTHIN'..Pre-Sumptious!)
Honest..as Home-Made PIE"
BETTER..Than "Store-Bought"
& TASTY..(I ALMOST FORGOT)
JUST ONE BITE WON'T SATISFY

'Course, this'd be straying a bit off the sweet little path you were heretofore leading us down, so obviously KOS....

"IN CONCLUSION" :D, thanks for playing, as always.

What a fun stable of silly-billy's we have here....

xoxo,
Mz Beth

Ok...here's my suggestion. We do a Cookie Compilation and offer it to the Girl Scouts next year to help sell their cookies. LOL Or...maybe that's not such a good idea. Might make folks sick...an' well, there's a bit of innuendo in here that might not fly with the honchos. Ok..so it was a crumby idea anyway. LOL

Hugs,
Bobbie

PS Boo..sometimes I write facts...sometimes I write fiction. Most of the time I just like ta let folks wonder which is which! LOL

Somebody stop me!! I love making cookies..but when you mentioned the raw dough form...it sorta triggered something in what passes for my brain. Hadda write you another one. Here 'tis.

Love chocolate chip cookie dough. Do NOT get me started. LOL

Raw Dough
© 2008 Lyrics by Bobbie Gallup ASCAP

I like to savor the flavor
So succulent and sweet
Tantalizing all my tastebuds
Making my day complete

CHORUS:
Oh oh oh oh oh
Raw dough
Cookie dough to be precise
Oh oh oh oh oh
Raw dough
Any kind will suffice

You don’t have to bake it
Just give it to me straight
By the spoonful or a finger-swipe
Or a big pile on my plate

CHORUS:
Oh oh oh oh oh
Raw dough
Cookie dough to be precise
Oh oh oh oh oh
Raw dough
Any kind will suffice

BRIDGE:
Chocolate chip or snickerdoodle
You kin gimme some ‘a these
Oatmeal raisin or sugar cookie
Just make sure it’s sweet
Macaroons or peanut butter
I’m not hard to please

I heard somebody tell me
That calories don’t count
In the raw dough form
You can eat any amount

CHORUS:
Oh oh oh oh oh
Raw dough
Cookie dough to be precise
Oh oh oh oh oh
Raw dough
Any kind will suffice

TAG:
Awww awww awww…I LOVE it raw..<G> That better Boo???

Bobbelina,

As to your fact vs. fiction spinning, all I can say is, aren't you the sneaky one?

But regarding your latest cookie entry, let me say BRAVO! Though I wonder if you might get a little more mileage out of the hook, as in "I Like It Raw" (speaking of innuendo.... :D)!!

Thanks, SWEETIE!

SnickerBOOdle

My Car Is Made Of Cookies
© words by C. Stewart ( Jan 21, 2008 )

My car is made of cookies
It's in mint condition
Sugar coated steering wheel
A Reese's Cup transmission

I know you like to lick your lips
Once you get inside
Double clutchin' double stuffin'
Sweet creamy ride

CHORUS...
With seatbelt wraped around your tattoo'd waist
There's so many different things to taste
But nothing's quite as sweet as this
Nothing's quite as sweet as your kiss

The bucket seats are Oreo's
The dashboard Chips Ahoy
My butterscotch stick shift
Can double as a toy

CHORUS...
With seatbelt wraped around your tattoo'd waist
There's so many different things to taste
But nothing's quite as sweet as this
Nothing's quite as sweet as your kiss

Bridge...
As we melt into, the marshmellow goo
The sugar on my lips is, only for you

CHORUS...
With seatbelt wraped around your tattoo'd waist
There's so many different things to taste
But nothing's quite as sweet as this
Nothing's quite as sweet as your kiss

But nothing's quite as sweet as our kiss
But nothing's quite as sweet as our kiss

Oh my goodness Calvin!!!! I gained 10 lbs just reading that!!! Your mind scares me sometimes!!! LOL

Hugs,
Bobbie

Very good!!

The bucket seats are Oreo"s
The dash board Chips Ahoy
My butterscotch stick shift
Can double as a toy-----Yaouchhh!! dude what was that!!

Me thinks, Mr. Calvin, you might channelling a bit of that Lucinda Williams' song here?????

'Cause when you brought those two forces together -- cookies and Lucinda -- you got quite a chemical reaction!

I can only imagine the detailing work your car guys have to put up with, you rascal.

Not surprisingly, I was drawn to (in the figurative sense, of course !), the same lines Ted called out.

Keep at it, Calvin...once all the toxins are out, the good work can really begin. HA HA -- only kidding... you know I'm a sucker for your lascivious lyrics!!

Ciao for now,
Beth

P.S. I'm so glad folks are feeling free to come back for a "second helping" over here. The more the merrier. For some reason, I think when someone says COOKIE, you can't help but smile (unless of course you're BLOWING them....ick, no need to go there...but if you wanna, I'll be waiting!).

"AND," (tap tap tap on microphone), IF I CAN BRING BUT ONE SMILE, TO ONE FACE, ON A GIVEN DAY, MY WORK HERE IS DONE." (Generally, I'm cracking myself up all day with my very base humor threshhold, so technically, I don't need yall for THAT, but once again, I digress....)

ENJOY!!

Hey Kristi,

Glad you're enjoying the show....and just think, it doesn't cost one single calorie!

Ciao for now,
Beth

Take 2: I added a few words and then did a quick recording. I was more interested in adding more parts instead of perfecting each part. I also didn't EQ anything. Probably will sound the best under headphones (or a loud stereo LOL!).

MP3: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6194216

***************************
There Are No More Cookies
Kevin Emmrich (c) 2008

(v1) Sittin' at the table
wanting just one more bite
the milk's gone sour
Did she do it just for spite?

(v2) There's clothes in the hamper
and dishes are piled in the sink
The bills are all unopened
and I'm close to the brink

(chorus) There are no more cookies
Maybe a few crumbs
and I've thought and I've thought
'til I can't think no more
can I buy what I need
at a store?

(Instrumental Break)

(Bridge) I'm wondering how close
'til I'm over done
There's a fine line between
alright and burnt
The temperature's too high
The mix is all wrong
But I never asked why

(chorus) There are no more cookies
Maybe a few crumbs
and I've thought and I've thought
'til I can't think no more
So, can I buy what I need
at the store?
No, I don't think I can buy what I need
at the store
********************************


Kevin

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin!

Well, I'm coming to you with my tail between my legs....I totally misread the tone on this, and I feel pretty silly having tried to "funny it up".

Once I listened to your recording, I was so pleasantly surprised. It was a much more wistful interpretation than I expected. As strictly a lyricist, I'm quite envious of your ability to bring the lyrics to life. The music made all the difference.

Anyway, thanks so much for finishing this up and sharing it with us (and P.S., thanks for the nod on Soundclick!)....

Cheers,
Beth

Beth: Thanks for thinking of the challenge! I read through all the entries and got a kick out of them. I don't come by the lyric boards that much, mainly because I don't like to critique lyrics by themselves.

But I had fun this time around. Oh -- don't worry about making suggestions. You never know what suggestions might trigger better songwriting.

Kevin

Hey again, Kevin,

Thanks for being so gallant.

Funny you should mention not spending much time on this particular forum....I'm a bit afraid to go anywhere else!

Do you generally do lyrics first then music, vice versa, or some combo thereof?

Curious,
Beth

Wow Kevin...you have a new fan!! I LOVED your NO MORE COOKIES song!! Your guitar is awesome and with that bit of harp thrown in...LOVED IT!! You also have just the perfect vocals in the mix. So glad I went and listened...hope more folks will.

Hugs,
Bobbie

I think I have to bake something first. The thing that keeps running through my head is a parody of an old Beatles (I think) tune:

I don't want a poodle,
Just wanna eat my snickerdoodle;
I don't want a noodle,
Just wanna eat my snickerdoodle;
And I... don't... want... to die...
Don't want snickerdoodles t'pass me by;
I don't want...

Where is the "on" button for that oven, anyway?

Joe

Mornin' Joe...I think on those E-Z Bakes, it's the little pink button on the right hand side.

Love your parody!!

Hugs,
Bobbie

Hi Kevin,

Add me to that fan list too.
I like what you recorded, it's real impressive.
Good job man.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Ok Beth You had me with cookies! Rofl here is a little slow country song quite aad might even shed a tear lol.

She took the cookies (an left me the jar)

Slow ole country

1st Verse
Well she took everything that mattered in life
She once was so sweet loved her as my wife
One day I woke up she drove away in her car
She took the cookies an left me the jar

Chorus
She took the cookies an left me the jar
Her Heart like molasses blacker than tar
Without those tasty tidbits I won’t get far
She took the cookies an left me the jar

2nd Verse
As paltry payment for her heartless bilk
Were a note on the table with a glass of cold milk
And one solitary crumb in the shape of a star
She took the cookies and left me the jar

Chorus
She took the cookies an left me the jar
Her Heart like molasses blacker than tar
Without those tasty tidbits I won’t get far
She took the cookies an left me the jar

Bridge
Well I placed that single crumb on the tip of my tongue
And savored that tiny morsel as my heart came undone

3rd Verse
I wish things had not ended this way
No cookies for me so sadly I’ll lay
In this house filled with gas waiting for a spark
She took the cookies and left me the jar

Copyright January 22, 2008 Derek Hines All Rights Reserved

Hey Joe

Liked your parody as well here. Though I need to let ya know it taint the Beatles it's the whiley Arlo Guthrie (Of alices restaurant fame) Keep em coming my friend Joe!
Derek

Funny one, Joe. I'm remiss in not knowing the Beatle's song you're referencing.

Nevertheless, perhaps this was the microwave version (hee hee).

Thanks for playing....and I must say, I'm surprised at how often "snickerdoodle" has come up!

Have a good day!
Beth

Hey Song Challenge Partner in Crime!

I will come back to this after I take the kids to the bus stop....I hope I can see the road, with the way these tears are gushing from my eyes...

xoxo,
Beth

Partner in cRiMe

I love it!!!! LOL

Hope your doing well this morning and carefull breaking into those banks!
XOXO
Derek

Oh, PHEW, Derek!

I made it back safely from the bus stop...thank goodness it's just a straight shot once I maneuver out of the long twisty backwards driveway!

Ah, there, that's better. Let me blow my nose....okay, let's see here.

She Took the Cookies (and left me the jar)..what a hoot. And as you say, a tragedy. I'm assuming it was just prior to "that time of the month" when she absconded with the afore-mentioned cookies. My money is on chocolate cookies of some sort...

Enjoyed your use of molasses in the chorus...nice touch....though I wish there was some clever way to use the word "bilk" in your second verse, to rhyme with milk. Maybe:

As paltry payment for her heartless bilk [though this is a verb...not sure if you can use it this way...]
Were a note on the table with a glass of cold milk
And one solitary crumb in the shape of a star
She took the cookies and left me the jar


Finally, I ask with tongue firmly implanted in cheek: is the singer more upset at the loss of his wife or his cookies? Either way, quite a dramatic ending -- and if this is the sort of grandiose gestures he's in the habit of making , no wonder she left with the goods!!

Thanks a lot, that was a kick.

Ciao for now,
Beth

Hmmm Bilk Milk ???

Yeah that sounds like it just might work thanks! As far as why she left hadn't decided; but yes they were definitly chocolate cookies so the whole time of the month thing works. As far as why he's upset; let there be no more doubt; he's missing the cookies. And your point about his rather dramtic end yeah she's better off without this mood swinger from heck lol. Thanks for giving us all such a fine funny song writing challenge it was a hoot! and thanks for the critique of thisd crummy little dirge rofl
XOXO
Derek

Boo stole the cookies from the cookie jar...
Who helped her try? Was it Wy?
Anyone seen 'er? Bobblina?
Nope, but it was Boo who stole the cookies from the cookie jar...

It hadda be that Mudgie
'Cause them cookies were so fudgie
That BOO's such an instigator
But it's really tough ta hate 'er
Even though she stole the cookies
From poor Derek's cookie jar

Now Bobbelina...she's a kind one
And it's really tough ta find one
That would never steal no cookies
From nobody's cookie jar

So friends I'm tellin' you the truth
It hadda be that Boo
She stuff's 'em in her orthopedic shoe
And with Mudgie helpin' too
No tellin' what the two of them'll do
So I bring this cookie alert to you!!

Hugs and a reward to you for information leading to the nabbing of the culprits. Might even be cookies!!

Hugs.
Bobbelina..<G>

Boo hoo?
Wy

Beth: I am predominately a music first type of guy. Normally I use other folk's backing tracks and then write lyrics to that. Lately I have been trying to write my own music (OK, just strumming on the guitar) and that has lead to some knew ways of writing. "Cookies" was lyric first (at least the first 2 verses and chorus).

Bobbie and Calvin: Thanks for stopping by and the nice comments. I'll have to try and come by the lyric boards more often.

Kevin

Wow...it's Beth's Variety Hour! Truly entertaining!

Alright Beth, a little cookie ditty just for you...

Do-re-mi, do-re-mi
The first three notes just happen to be
Do-re-mi, do-re-mi

Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti...

Dough, a lump of sweet sugar
Rai-se, your glass let's toast this treat
Me, oh my, I'm gonna get fat
Not far, to go to stuff my face
So? I need a little high
La, la land is where I'll be
Tea, tastes best with something sweet
Now let's eat some cookie dough! (yum, yum, yum)

Beth,

Reminded me of this little piece. I wrote it a while back. Its on theme, I think.


Would My Fortune Cookie Lie?

Would my fortune cookie lie
And flatter me with empty words--
Leaving me to think I know
Things that are not really so?

Would my fortune cookie fib,
With advice that might be heard
By a thousand others too,
With names like Yong Ling or Sun Woo?

I crack it open like a clam,
Then search inside for who I am.
I crunch the sweet shell as I read
Where my future path may lead.

Would my fortune cookie say
Things uncertain or absurd?
Would it promise me the sky?
Would my fortune cookie lie?

c2003 Skip Johnson

OMG Bobbie,

You are too much...and what you can do off the cuff is uncanny.

Luckily I was sitting down (eating my cookies, natch), when I read the line about stuffing the cookies into my orthopedic shoe. I will never walk on it the same way!!

Also, thanks for branding me an "instigator"...it adds a bit of pizzazz to this otherwise aw-shucks little gal ( .

Lastly, glad you could bring our boy Derek back into the arms of this cookie caper. Like I always say, the more the merrier...

xoxo,
Boo