JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 "HEY..SUICIDAL?"

{Rules are Made to Be Broken. I've sworn off Suicidal Songs all my Days. But...guess I have One In Me. Stuff I'd like to say to a Kid on a Bridge/A Gal with a Mouthfulla Pills..Anyone with a Gun to their head. Dunno if it'll do any Good or not...but if it saved even ONE Life, then I'm glad to have written it. Starts out "Tough" to get Their Attention, which MAY be the Exact-OPPOSITE Route a Crisis-Situation Psychologist would take. Dunno. But...ya gotta Start Somewhere....}

HEY...SUICIDAL?
Give Some Thought to Your Revival:
OTHER Folks have LIVED..Thru "WORSE-Than-You"...
HEY...SUICIDAL?
EVERY Life Flows Somewhat TIDAL:
So WAIT-A-WHILE..The ANSWERS..Come In-View!
HEY--Suicidal!

(BRIDGE)
Have You Ever CONSIDERED:
"The UNKNOWN" Could Be WORSE-Than-THIS?
(Tomorrow HERE Could Be "BETTER-YET?")
So..HANG-ON Through Depression's Grip...

(Hey) HEY...SUICIDAL?
Give Some Thought to Your Revival:
Don't Your Ever THINK..that.."NOONE CARES"
HEY...SUICIDAL?
Tell a FRIEND (OR Read a Bible)
Your Life HAS Worth, The ANSWERS..ARE Right There!
Hey--Suicidal!

(BRIDGE)
Perhaps You've Had..THE WORST-of-DAYS
BUT There's No NEED to Drift-Away
You CAN Deal-With-It, You NEED to STAY
(Why RUSH Into..Your Judgement Day?)

(Hey) HEY...SUICIDAL?
Please Don't Threaten Your Survival
You ARE Your Own-Best-FRIEND..(Or Enemy...)
HEY..SUICIDAL?
Your Sense of Humor's IN-Denial
If you Can LAUGH, You CAN Avert..More Tragedy
Hey--Suicidal!

(TAG)
Please Take a Long, Deep Breath..(Continually)...
Hey--Suicidal!

(C) 2007 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.

Stan,

Great question to ask. I attended a workshop on suicide prevention while I was in Hawaii. They taught "QPR" as an acronym for knowing how to deal with a person who is possibly suicidal. They noted that 85% or more of suicides have either told people outright that that's where they were emotionally within the few days before, or given major hints. Here's what the "QPR" stands for, and anybody can learn it, and should use it.

Q = Question

Ask a person directly if they are suicidal, or having thoughts of hurting themselves, or ending it all. What you've done in this lyric is exactly what the experts recommend as the most appropriate opener in a possible suicide situation. You will not deeply offend even a good friend by asking such a question. You will simply validate the fact that you take them seriously. A great many people need someone to simply "pop the question". Until that happens, the issue is still there, but cannot be dealt with.

P = Persuade

Persuade the person (if they have responded to the affirmative, that they are having suicidal thoughts) not to act on these impulses until you help them find a viable alternative. Knowing that there is someone who knows and will help them find a solution--a friend, or stranger, who is aware of what is going on and will not be simply walking away before the matter is adequately addressed--can keep a person hanging on when they would otherwise have let go.

R = Refer

The great majority of people who have first line contact with a person contemplating suicide do not have adequate professional training to deal with the level of help required. That means making an adequate referal to a teacher, pastor, doctor, psychiatrist, policeman, or some other person who can make sure the person gets into a place where they are safe. Simply not allowing the person to be alone until this is achieved adequately on their behalf may be what is necessary to save a life in some situations. Referal is almost always the best way to go.

There are many reasons for people to suicide. Some are situational. Guys do not handle having sex with a girl, then having her walk away. Girl leaves guy. Guy leave planet by his own hand. This is an excellent reason for not engaging in premaritial sex. It is horrendously tramatic for us guys--to say nothing of the girls involved. Some suicides are due to imbalances in the chemical makeup of the mind--which can in part be genetic in nature. Some suicides are due to chronic alcohol or drug use which depresses the emotions past the normal will to survive. (Suicides dropped dramatically in countries in WW II where the alcohol supply was disrupted by the war, for instance. They went back up again once the booze began to flow after the war ended.) Some suicides are from pain and shame due to an unexpected life reversal. Some are a means of escaping the agony of the aftermath of sexual or physical victimization.

Bipolar disorder takes up to 1 in 3 who suffer from it by their own hand even with treatment. This is an illness the person does not do anything to get, and which can yank them from extremely high emotions to the point of visual and aural hallucinations to subsuicidal depression--sometimes as often as four times in a single week, as in the case of my older son. The lows are so low that the person has to be on the upswing at least partway to have enough energy to even kill himself.

With three in four in my immediate family suffers from this particular disorder in varying forms, I can only thank God that we're all still alive. It has been chancy there on more than one occasion, however. So what I say here has come from storm-tested life experience. This is not a charcter disorder, and it does not respond to talk therapy. In fact, while there are some meds that help some, for others the symptoms do not respond to anything at all. Except, perhaps, marijuanna.

Bipolar illness is a treacherous, ever-present roller coaster that one simply learns to hang on a ride in most cases. A great many of the fatalities occur near onset of symptoms--generally in the teens or early 20's--before a person has learned to override the inclinations and behave "counter-intuitively" during the worst stretches.

Hopefully, there's a strong support group close by to help a person hang on when they'd really rather simply let go, and end the pain. For our family, that support group has largely been each other. We are definately one storm torn bunch of survivors--and a little bit proud of that. So far, all hands are still on board, and we're still watching each other's backs and knowing our own will need to be watched as well. We all live within 5 minutes of each other, and everybody knows nobody goes under without somebody noticing and taking action.

I recommend "QPR". We use it pretty regularly, particularly recently with my oldest son. He is one tough kid, and fights huge battles continually that pretty much anyone walking by would never know about.

We've got a guy exactly my age who comes in to Community Service pretty much every week for food and clothing, but mostly for prayers. He's bipolar and hasn't fared nearly as well as we have. No wife, on disability, no family, no job. He always has me pray for him and is very open about letting everyone else standing there waiting for the opening of the pantry know his major life challenge. He's a very likable guy. A refugee from life. Seeing him lets me know how greatly I and my family have been blessed for nearly three decades through the support we are able to give to each other in dealing with the same condition.

Still making us think, Stan. Keep writing.

Skip

P.S. If ever someone in my family were to succumb to the 1/3 lethality stats for bipolar, I would consider it in exactly the same light as someone dying from a heart attack or a stroke. This is purely a medical condition that manifests itself in that particular form in inflicting its fatality. I do not see any moral accountability involved, necessarily, though that may be present to in some situations for other reasons.

Hopefully, we can avoid the stats stacked against us in this matter as a family. So far, so good. Thank God.

Stan

Great message and your words are really alive on the page....I like how you type them in....

Good work and important!

Eric

Thanks Rev! I needed to feel I'd done Something RIGHT Here, since I think near-Every Suicide WANTS all the Bystanders to feel a Wee Bitta Guilt..for "What's Happened".

And...It IS pretty Difficult to DO Everything "Right" in every case. (I'd make a BAD Crisis Counselor..since I'd brood for Ages over every one I'd "Lost".)

"QPR" sounds like a Well-Thought-Out series of Steps towards their Recovery Phase. & yep, I'd guess Bi-Polar is a pretty Potentially-Lethal trait to have to Live With. (Hope All's Continually-Well Out Your Way!!!)

Tried to end this on a Humorous Note...since I think having a Sense of Humor is one of Mankind's BEST Defenses against Self-Termination. "Look at the Other Side of The Coin"..and it's usually got a Chuckle to it, insteada "Let's End it All!"

Glad you been helping that guy with no "Safety Net"...sometimes ALL it takes is One Kind Word..at the Right Time..& a poor Soul like that makes it thru One More Day.

Keep up your Great Work, Amigo!

Thanks for The Always Kind Words & Visit,
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

HiDee Bro Eric!

I allus give Credit to Claude Reynolds for my "Style" of Typography. He's in a Mental Institution, somewhere in Florida..but was a Fascinatin' Character & Fine Human Being.

(Just had a Bad Habit of writing Politicos & sending Threatenin' Letters Occasionally, ALL FULLA CAPITAL LETTERS...which Kinda SCARED some Powerful-People a Wee-Bit!)

But..It does Help Me Sing the few I ever get into the Studio to Record.

Tbanks for Your Kind Visit & Words, Glad to see Ya Back, Amigo!

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Stan,

Those desiring to make bystanders feel guilty likely fall into the class where moral culpability for their own demise is involved. From my own direct contact with at least a few persons in this condition, there was no desire to inflict anything on anybody at all--only a desire to escape unendurable suffering and no hope of that happening through any channels opened to their view. In fact, some don't even consciously think of the fact that the bottle of pills they have taken will end their life. They only see them as an assured means of finally sleeping--permanently. Kind of like the lure of a freezing person wanting to lie down in a snow drift.

I have known those who had been planning their suicides in advance, but probably would have avoided them except a "friend" dropped by with several fifths of Vodka. After several days of chemical depressants, existence itself didn't seem worth the effort. That guy died with a closet full of pornography. He'd been coming to church trying to get his life together. He's one I lost.

Do I feel guilty about it? No. I visited him regularly, gave him my number, told him he could call me any time day or night if he got to thinking that way--but also let him know in advance that if he did make that decision, it was one that he was making. As for me, I wanted him to live, and would do all I could to assist in that. He'd been doing relatively fine before the Vodka showed up. His wife, who had made a pact with him for a double suicide, ended up spitting out her pills instead. She woke up with him dead on top of her. Once his body had been removed, she spent the rest of the Vodka ignoring what had happened. Sober, she was a very nice lady. Drunk...

I'm personally not a big fan of substances that make people not be able to think, or feel, appropriately. I've seen too many people I care about hurt by them.

Personally, I do not wish to be in the place of any person who steps before God in judgment with a closet full of pornography and a belly full of Vodka and sleeping pills. Nearly all this ex-roadie's friends had died either from overdoses of drugs or suicide. He was a wheel-chair bound dinosaur--at age of 40. Quality and quantity of life are not necessarily things that are in inverse proportion.

I agree that humor is an excellent medicine. Abraham Lincoln is believed to have been bipolar. He had three "nervous breakdowns" before becoming America's perhaps most beloved and respected president. He was also known as a humorist. That was his coping device to head off the crippling downs his condition inflicted in an age before medicines that help at least a portion of those who suffer now. Lincoln's humor also tended to cheer up a lot of people around him during some very difficult times our country was passing through.

Winston Churchhill was another in the same situation, as were a host of other famous names people recognize for contributions to humanity in multiple areas of human endeavor. Genius and madness are bedfellows, if humanity's "Who's Who" is valid.

Skip

Thanks for Your Follow-Up, Skipper!

It's not ALWAYS Sad when Someone Dies~ &..Death IS as Natural as Childbirth. As "The Oldest Surviving Direct Family Member" I've watched The Generational Change as my Mom & Stepdad headed off to The Great Beyond. My Bio-Dad DID just sleep off in a Freezing Snowdrift..in 1949..so I've been Aware of Death since I was 4.

The JOY of "Growing Old" is Death gets "Less-Tragic" every year ya put behind ya. (&..It's as Big a "Certainty" as Taxes..heh-heh!)

The "Tragedy" of Dying is always when it occurs "Too-Early"...but in the case of the Vodka-Fuelled Exit, I'd say maybe that fool was "Overdue." (Hopefully, whoever supplied The Vodka HAD a wee bitta Guilt...but noone else need-apply.) Glad to hear The Galfriend Survived..tho she's at least got an Idea of what Alcohol Abuse can do to a person..first-hand.

I dabble in Amberbock and Zinfandel..but "Nothing to Excess" kept the Greeks afloat for Ages. Me too..tho I LOVE a Good Buzz whenever Yard-Work rears its Ugly Head. As a Former Graphic Artist/Cartoonist, I'm aware that One Man's Porno is another man's Goya...(It's ALL in the Eye of The Beholder/God's ALREADY Seen-It-ALL. Over the CENTURIES!)

Abe wasn't just Bi-Polar...there's some documentation that he was perhaps Bi-Sexual...(which would explain some of His Depression..etc.) STILL one of US's Greatest, IMO.

Churchill swore like a Sailor..accordin' to a Parrot that's reportedly his..about 104 years old, in the news recently.

I see Suicide as a Valid Option when you're in Hemmingway's Final Condition...with "No Cure in Sight." But unless you're in tremendous Mind-Numbing Physical Pain..(& Only Alternative is Trememdously Mind-Numbing Drugs)..I see Suicide as One Big Cop-Out. (& the Primarily "Guilty Party": The ones who Do It.)

The thin Line between Comedy & Tragedy is sometimes Brilliantly-Displayed by Comics like Steven Wright...(Wish I could remember just ONE of his jokes tonight..but can't!) But properly-done, Irony CAN be Hilarious!

Time for some Evenin' Coffee (to neutralize the day's 2nd Amberbock at Supper)... We've had TONS of Rain Today..much-needed. (Sorry it wasn't on the West Coast today..they sure coulda used it!)

Thanks for Your Continual Kind Words & Enlightening Visit, Amigo!
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Hiya Stan,
Interesting write!
Queen did one along these lines called "Don't Try Suicide," with some of the most PERKY, catchy and upbeat music in their catalog. Quite a juxtaposition!!

You can Google for the lyrics. It's one of the few of theirs that employs some more... colorful language, so I won't be the one to reprint them all here. But the chorus goes:
"Don't try suicide
Nobody's worth it
Don't try suicide
Nobody cares"

What's funny (to me) is that both you, and Freddie, used a couple of similar thoughts in your respective lyrics.

Have a good day!

Linda

Stan,

I hadn't heard about the bi-sexual thing with Lincoln. I know his wife could be a difficult lady to live with. That doesn't necessarily make him bi-sexal, however.

This last summer I visited Springfield, Illinois, and toured Abe's hometown at the time he was elected president. His only house is there in a preserved neighborhood, and the Lincoln presidential library is definately a major "exceeds expectations" attraction. I also went through his law office and the chamber where he gave the speech that won him the presidency--as well as the one where he was laid in state at the time of his death. Very impressive to see how great an influence a single life can have.

I'd not heard anything concerning bi-sexuality with Lincoln during that tour, though there was a great deal about his personal and professional life mentioned. I do know he was a man of one book--the Bible. He knew that book better than any other--though he did self-educate with the still exisiting law library there in the state house in town. Lincoln is rightfully cited as an example of the impact of a thorough knowledge of a single very good book over the impact of many lesser volumes, so far as that self-education worked its way out in his character and life. No one who knows the Bible thoroughly, as did Lincoln, can ever be considered to be uneducated in any company he finds himself in world wide. There is an energy in that Volume that cannot be duplicated or matched by any other.

Strange that it should remain such a neglected Book for so many anyway. We had some on the free literature table at Topsfield. One older woman picked one of them up. When a friend of mine from the booth down the way asked her about it, she told him she'd never even had a Bible in her home before, but had always wanted one. Glad we could provide that for her. Our Gideon's Bible friends just on the other side of the 4H Building gave away 900 New Testaments mostly to school children in a single day. So Lincoln's Inspiration is still in circulation, and needs to be.

General Grant actually had an office underneath a stairwell there oppostie the other stairwell on the other side where the janitor slept. That was before he became general and director of the Northern forces in the Civil War. He got that job primarily by showing up early and helping out with enlisting others. Kind of interesting to see a very famous man's first office under a stairwell open to the rest of the building.

I've heard Mark Twain was bi-sexual. I think there's better evidence for that, at least from what I've read. It could account for his attitude toward religion. It is rather difficult to have something like that going on in your secret life and still see eye to eye with the God of the Bible. I know there are gay rights groups who will "out" any number of historical figures in attempt to confirm their own current status in modern society--sometimes on very flimsy evidence or pure conjecture. With the person not around to protest they've been mislabeled, whose to say? So until I see better evidence on Abe, I'm unlikely to pay much heed to after the fact rumor.

There is a very good and Biblical use for alcohol. It serves as an excellent and readily available pain killer for the terminally ill. (A slightly more serious condition than a disinclination to mow the lawn.) Last chapter of Proverbs details this very legitimate use. Currently, I'm not in that condition. I have too many people who count on me being able to think clearly and function well to begin shrinking my brain with every swallow.

(This actually occurs, by the way. And that even with nothing more than beer. The damage starts with the first drink, and escalates and deepens from there. The more a person drinks, the fewer the actual number of brain cells, until with a heavy drinker, the thinking organ looks like a rotten mushroom inside. But enough for anatomy lessons, and cause and effect relationships...)

There is a form of suicide that I see Divinely directed in the Bible. When both Aaron and Moses had finished long and productive lives in leading God's people, and while they were still in the full strength of their physical and mental powers (at age 110 and 120 respectively), God told them their time on earth was finished. They were instructed to climb separate mountains a short time before the Israelites entered the land of Canaan. There they both died. It was the "climb your last mountain to be with God forever" form of retirement.

Frankly, I do not see that as a bad way to go. They were still vigorous enough to scale a mountain, and it was a most honorable end to magnificent lives of service to God and to man. I've heard rednecks plan for retirement by playing Lotto. I prefer the Moses and Aaron option if I've got nothing else lined up by then.

Death comes to all in this world, pretty much. It can be a good death or a bad one. Fortunately, we've got some say in that. At that point, what lies beyond becomes of the keenest interest, and merits attention even now.

Skip

G'Mornin' Mz Linda!

I've heard OF this Song...guess I need to track it down & Listen To It..heh!

Dunno if I ever mentioned there's a Bigger-Than-Life-Size Bronze STATUE of Freddie on the Banks of (Think it's) Lake Lucerne, in Montreaux, Switzerland. (He had a Recording Studio there in-town, & The Locals Loved Him!) Genius, Visionary, Pioneer..& Obviously a Fun Guy, too! (I'll settle for The Latter..heh!)

WILL Google...ASAP!

Many Thanks for Your Kind Visit & Mention of Freddie! I'm indebted!

Big Hugs,
Stan

HiDee Skipper!

I honestly paid Just The Slightest Attention to that blurb about Lincoln's "deviation" because it wasn't That Big a Thing to my mind. Best I recollect there's a paragraph..or letter..to a Longtime Male Secretary of his..that's the "Smoking Gun"...(& like you mentioned Last Post, this probably depends on Who's Doing The Interpreting.)

It never ceases to Amaze Me what "Later Historians" CAN do to a Person's Persona when Something Kinky DOES Emerge later-on...J.Edgar Hoover's Cross-Dressing sure nudged Him offa his Media Pedestal when-divulged. BUT the guy sure did make the FBI into a Force to Be Reckoned-With..so what he did in His Spare Time doesn't matter in The Least to me.

Personally, I don't know why the Bible seems to be so Homophobic, but that's ITS Hangup, not mine..& somewhere in my Catalogue's "Jesus Hung with The Boys" to do a little Eyebrow-Raising.

Alcoholically, heck, Religious Leaders were behind "The Prohibition Era"...& The Kennedy Clan made out like BANDITS during the era. Nowadaze, the Fed Gov't makes a BUNCH off the Sin Tax on Alcohol..(& a Federal Lottery can't be too far-behind, as Social Security needs the loot-ahead.) Bacteria have a tough time living IN alcohol, so addin' a WEE bit daily gives ya The Edge, health-wise, & Leadin' Docs now RECOMMEND It to Us Older Folks. (Yep.."In Moderation".) "2 Beers a Day" is ALL the Average Liver can safely-process says my VA Doc...so 2 it usually is, heat-permittin'.

Interestin' the Bible has Sanctioned Ways of Callin' it A Lifespan. Very Humane of it, & I think that Loving Kindness OUGHTA allow Licensed Docs to Euthanize Older Folks ON-Their-Request, like the Dutch now do.

I've promised La Femme I'm takin' up Skydiving when some Doc says I got Something Terminal..& my Low Threshold of Pain tells me it's time to Fly. (Please allow ME to pack the Parachute, THANKEE!) ;-)> Hey, even Death should be Fun...JMO!

Oh..from what I've read on The Brain, we're born with a TREMENDOUS Number of Brain Circuits...which fade away, alcohol-or-no-alcohol, every year we survive. Use 'Em or Lose 'Em...Gulp! (Definitely Somethin' To Think About!) ;-)>

Time To Scoot...Thanks For The Very Kind Visit & Things To Think About, Amigo!

Big Appreciative Guy-Hug.
Stan

Hi-Dee Bro! Stan-a-reeno! My rhyming compatriot, you have got yourself one humdinger of a "Don't JUMP!" idea here... I really like the way you "put it out there". Depression as it is, suicide sometimes seems the only solution to resolving a problem. But I dare say that from now on the Therapists and negotiators and such authorities of same should make this here song of yours a staple to saving lives!!

Great job here, Stan!

Dave

Thankee Buffalo-Bro!

I mentioned this Effort to a Clock Shop Customer of Mine who's in the Psychology Field, & she wants a Peek At It. (Interested in Skip's Alphabetic Approach, too, when I mentioned it.) So..tonight I hope to print a copy off for her, between Movie Review & Naptime..heh!

I remember back in College when Academically it was gonna be a really BAD Semester to report to da Folks, & The Urge to Kiss a Semi headin' Downhill was REAL Strong..(Partly 'cuz To Fail meant a free Ticket to Basic Training en-route to 'Nam back in My Day)

But..I Passed all 4 Years of It, Somehow...(& STILL Ended Up in Nam, Anyways!)..& every Day after that 'Nam Year's been an Appreciated Gift.

It's really TOO easy to die. Just don't breath for 5-10 minutes & Away Ya Go. But WHY Hurry? Life is in Technicolor...Death's kinda Black, with No Promise (for sure) of White. (I'll sure MISS those Hawaiian Shirts in The Afterlife, I will!) ;-)>

Thanks for Your Very Kind Visit & Words, Dave-Migo!
Big Thursday Guy-Hug Backatcha!
Stan