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Hello, I am Tiffany Carlen, singer/songwriter in TX...via New Jersey. I'm new here so I thought I would jump on it and post a song that Marlene and I worked on together. It's vocals with just piano for now. Looking forward to meeting you all...all 42,000 of you!!!!
Just click the link and it shoud be the first song she has listed. You can also hear it on my website which is listed below. Thanks for listening!!!
[url=http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=707821&songID=5784711]http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=707821&songID=5784711[/url]
TO GO IT ALONE
© Marlene Palmer/THurd 2007

Vocals/Piano by Tiffany Carlen

V1
Staring out at the rain
Past the houseplants on the sill
She wonders if it will ever stop
A cup of cold coffee
Next to unopened bills
She’s having a hard time getting anything done…cause

Chorus:
She’s got a long way
To go it alone
She’s out in Arizona
Waiting for him to come home
See he never was with her
And now he’s just gone
She’s got a long way
To go it alone

V2
She lost track of the moves
Made for him o’er the years
Always packing up their kids and things alone
She asked him to quit
As she cried so many tears
But the truth is he knew no other life…so

Repeat chorus

Bridge:
A knock on the door came early in the morn
They told her how he’ll be coming home
She always knew the battle would take his soul.
Life will go on…but

Repeat chorus

Hello,

Something is wrong with your soundclick link.

Kevin

arrrrgggg, sorry about that. TRy this one...I'm new to this site and don't know what I'm doing yet.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...songID=5397395

OK, if that doesn't work, copy and past in into your browser. Sorry...gosh darn newbies!

Ah ha! I did it. How do I enable HTML??

Hi Tiffany.. Glad to see you over here. I was gonna post tomorrow. Couldn't do it today cause I posted "Knocked Off.....less than 24 hours ago. So I thank you. I think you're gonna like it here. Fantastic bunch of folks.
Here's my soundclick link also....

The link is still not working -- note that it has the "..." in it --> soundclick.com/bands/page...songID=5397395

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=707821&songID=5784711
The above is the link to this song on Marlene's page as I couldn't get any in this post to work.
Trick is to go to your mu7sic page. Right click the title of the song you want to put up and save shortcut from the dropdown that produces, then paste it into your post here.
Individual songs is what is asked for here, not music or memjber pages as i recal, and makes it less clicks for the average lazy persojn like me.
To the song.
Sounds good to me.
Not only as a demo, but I clould happily listen to this someplace over a coffee or something stronger.
Graham

Thanks Graham, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I have a helloWorld site and the link is really long. I'm still learning how to work this site and as soon as I do, then I'll use my page to link to instead of Marlene's as I don't have a soundclick site.

Hey Marlene...I figured that as I saw your other post. Thought I'd use this as a guinie pig. Can we edit the above post with the correct link?

yes you can.
Just right click the correct one and hit copy shortcut, then go to the original post and hit edit.
Delete the failed link and paste the right one.
It doesn't matter how long the link is if you do the right click and copy shortcut thing Tiffany.
It should work fine.
Thhe link you have up as a signature doesn't take you to your music.
It is Flu Elise etc, so I suggest you edit that also.
Graham

Hi Tiffany (and Marlene):

Welome to the forum...

Nice song - cool the way the story becomes clear as the song proceeds - and how the meaning of "See he never was with her" changes to the listener once the story comes into focus.

Liked the delivery too...

Scott

I'm quite confused as to which link is doing what. I'm also not good with sort of stuff. What I do know is this. If you click on MY signature link at the bottom of MY posts, it will take you to MY songs and THERE IT IS!

Thanks you GRAHAM for your review of the song. If I could buy you a coffee, I would.
Thanks to you, SCOTT for your listen to the song. We are both very proud of the way it seemed to, finally, come together for us. Tiffany made it shine.

Graham - when you click on my link in my signature page, it takes you to my music page on my website, which has several things on it, demos and some of my favorites that I share. If you look above the song titles, on he right is an option to click through folders. In there is a folder called Tiff's demos...there's only three folders. It's a drop down box. That link is meant to go to my music page and then you can click around to check out my entire site. Thank you for your help. I am going to try to edit.

Yep. The site is a bit clumsy to get around, and I don't see any way to select individual song shortcuts as we are supposed to do here, and is really the best way to do it Tiffany.
I would suggest you go soundclick or something similar.
To put the link to any individual song in here, I suggest, you go to your music page after uploading a new song, and after checking to make sure the sound is coming out right, Right click the title and then copy shortcut, and then paste that into the top of the lyric for the song in your word proccessor and save it.
That way, you have the noise links to all your lyrics in a documentt file along with the lyric, and it is just one step to put both the lyric and the link anywhere on tyhe net.
Graham

Tiffany love the song and your voice...

Where were you last week when I was considering a female harmony on the 2nd chorus of "TELL ME WHY" which I just finished & posted.

I think it would've worked nice......I'm in L.A. though

Hi Tifanny,

I enjoyed the tune and your voice. But I couldn't get into the lyrics as much. A bit to vague for me. At the end I was left wondering, what was it she asked him to quit? what was the battle? drugs? women? gambling?

I think you could go two ways. Either say what it is, or leave "him" out of it altogether and make it about her.

Also, the "life will go on" line didn't ring true. The song comes across more as "she'll wonder how to go on"

Differant strokes for diferant blokes I guess.
I liked the openess off possibles in this one.
He could have been many rolling stone things.
rodeo and rae track along with trucking come to mind for me.
I decided he was coming home dead.
That was pretty clear to me.
Graham

Seems to me the guy is in the military.

Good vocals, good song. Maybe just a little too much vocal gymnastics in the first verse. I thought the lines

She's got a long way
To go it alone

just blend together to quickly. The piano chord at 0:33 (1st chord in the chorus) seems a little weird to me.

Good luck with this one, it's pretty good.

Kevin

Why can't I get the link to work? When I click on the link above I hear squealing noises. Help!

Roxy
http://www.soundclick.com/roxycain

Roxy, there's a gal on ESPN who looks a little like you and her name? Roxanne. Ever see her? She usually wears glasses.

Hey Kevin. I don't know why they are showing up like that. I followed the directions from the UBB FAQ page. It did the same thing when I tried to change the color of text. Could be me, but I'm quite techy. If anyone can help me, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks!

Hey Steve...thank you!!! Even though you are in LA, we can work together! If you ever need some harmony or anything else, let me know. You can send me the mp3 or wav and I can mix it with the harmony on my board. I'll post on your thread after I take a listen. Blessings!

Hey Tiffany. Is this link thing all straight now?
I'll have to say, you stirred things up a bit with your entrance. Hee hee.

Thanks Ant. At the end of the bridge, the line in question..life will go on but she has a long way to go it alone. Where as she'll wonder how to go on but she has a long way to go it alon...doesn't make sense.

Thanks Graham. I never thought about the trucker angle. IT was Marlene's concept from the beginning to leave it open to listener. She didnt' want it to spell war so this way it gives it a chance to fit any listener's situation.

I know...darn newbies can do anything right!!! I just hope it doesn't do this to me when I post again. Roxy - click on Marlene's signature link and I think it is the top one.

Hey Kevin----I hit a little extra note in there that will be gone in the final cut. I thought I could hide it for this demo...but you caught me!!!!

Scott - Thank you very much. I'm glad you like it!!!

Welcome Tiffany...like your voice..nice timbre to it,and good vocal delivery considering it was just piano & vocal..does'nt leave much room for error...only one wee tiny nit,i can understand the writer leaving the ending up to the imagination of the listener ..but the 2nd line in the bridge reads.."They told her how he'll be coming home"...so i would change the 4th line in the last chorus to "knowing he is never coming home"...as the bridge suggests to the listener that he is already dead...but that is just my personal take on it..Good Luck nice to meet you!

Hi Terry. Marlene here. I see what you mean about the 4th line of the last chorus. I'm wondering if it'll still work the way it is, as she could be waiting for his body to come home? Thanks for your listen on this. Tiffany is a stickler and I'm sure she'll check this out as soon as she sees your post.

Thanks Terry and nice to meet you too.

Tiffany,

This is my first night posting, so I'm a fellow newbie. I haven't posted any songs yet, (and I'm not sure how to do it, either)so I can sympathize with your trials getting started. But you got your song posted and I got to listen to it, so here are my thoughts.

I enjoyed the song, especially the bridge, which implies the he returned dead. That gave the song a new level of resonance. I only wondered about the line: "See he never was with her". That threw me a little. Does that mean emotionally? If so, it weakens the link between them and makes the song more about the hardship of being alone than about the hardship of losing a loved one.

But I enjoyed the song. A couple of times.

I'm kinda a clueless and I missed the military angle completely. Now I get it and it makes a lot more sense.

Obviously, everyone else is a bit more clued in than me, or more in tune with this kind of theme.

Not sure if this will help and I'm saying you need to make changes, but the lines that put me off track (doesn't take much) are these:

Next to unopened bills - I thought there was some kind of financial difficulty


See he never was with her, And now he’s just gone - I started thinking about some deadbeat husband leaving her in the lurch.

She asked him to quit - here where I started thinking it was a drug problem or maybe gambling.

She always knew the battle would take his soul - I thought it was a battle with drugs or gambling.

I guess "take his soul" really threw me off. I can see how the battle would take his life, but "take his soul" implies to me a loss of his moral compass or something. So I thought that he lost the "battle" with the thing he asked her to quit, but a real battle.

The song was much better for me on the second listen after getting a clue.

-ant

Hey Mark. I'g glad you liked it. The line in question is physically he was never with her, which stays in line with the whole song. The song itself is emotional, but completely about the guy being physically gone.

Hey Any, thanks! On the 1st rewrite I had worded more directly to the guy being a war hero, but we really wanted this to appeal to any of those situations, letting the listener decide what his fate was, that's why I chose soul instead of life, so it could go either way. I'm glad it came together for you though.

Hi Tiffany...Hi Marlene... :):)

Nice to meet you, Tiffany...and welcome.

I enjoyed listening to your song..you two...Very pretty....
and very very lovely piano...and vocals.

Best to you both......
Kaley

Piano Melodies and Demos:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=8404
Kids Music:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=6469
Andy & Friends CD:
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg

I meant to say "I'm NOT saying you need to make changes...."

Tiffany,
Nice to meet you, don't believe I've had the pleasure. You have a very soulful delivery in this take...the story is one that is delivered in the bridge , which is where I was thinking I would take the music and the melody somewhere a little further from where it is now...this being your worktake you have the chance to do a little rewrite there melodically and
peak everything where the story peaks, right there in that bridge...sorry if I'm redundant I don't read all the other's comments so I can offer an unbiased opinion...for what it's worth...hadn't gotten even free coffee with it lately...ha...good luck and save a little of the vocals for that peak I was talking about, you don't have any trouble with the peak, it's just the place to put it I think needs a lil' tweak...Marlene, I like the way you've woven this story...good luck with it...Moker

Hi Tiiffany

I really like the story the singing was pretty good the piano felt very nice. The pace seemed too slow. I know this is a ballad of sorts but it felt like was listening to a 45 on 33.

Maybe it's just me but I feel the tempo needs an adjust. The vocals while good had a pushed feeling to them. I know this is a work tape so I don't expect perfection(look at the junk I post lol) Just thought I'd give my two cents for what it's worth.

Kaley - thanks and nice to meet you too!

Ant - no problemo!!!

Moker - nice to meet you and thank you. IT wasn't redudant at all. SOmeone on another board had said she was expecting a minor at the bridge so I started playing around with it. I'll work the melody more. I liked your Apple Barn song.

Derek - Thanks. I can't speed it up too much as it is a sad, emotional song. However, if I had a drum beat to go by it would probably help. Vocals - not pushed as I am in mix, but not touched up at all as I jsut layed them over piano on my boss. I'm not all that great with mixing...yet!

Hi Ant. Just stopped in to see how this thread is going. You have emphasized most of the points that Tiffany and I agonized over before she even got into the musical arrangement. She is being gracious when she says WE wanted it to appeal .... I was reaching for a bit a mystery and then the revealing in the bridge. Tiffany wanted to make it perfectly clear, from the beginning, that it was military. She did a super job, IMO, trying to satisfy me and still make it "all come out" in the end. Hopefully, there won't be many with such confusion as yours. But your comments are taken to heart and mind, seriously.
Thank you.

Marlene and Tiffany.....I listened to this one the other day....there was something about the chorus that just didn't sit right for me....love the song....vocal very good...this is just my suggestion...not saying it's right but I would do the chorus a little different....I would do it...

She's out in Arizona
Waiting for him to come home
See he never was with her
And now he's just gone
She's got a long way to go it alone
She's got a long way to go it a...lone...

I'm not sure if the music would need a little change or not....you can s-can this altogether.....just my thoughts....
T-bob

Tiffany,

Thanks for stopping in at Four Left Turns. I saw you were new here but I did not know how talented you were until I saw this topic and listened to "To Go It Alone". Best wishes and good luck.

Kevin

It's something to consider, TBOB. Tiffany may have tried it like that. We changed the chorus a few times. I'll leave it up to her to consider your suggestion. Thanks for the listen.

Marlene And Tiffany - Hi

Tiffany a BIG welcome here! I went to listen twice but could not find the tune. Help!

Hi Marlene and Tiffany,
Very pretty song. I enjoyed the listen.
Tiffany--nice to meet you, and I empathize with your newbie woes! Stick to it--it'll all come together. This is a GREAT place to be. I've been here a little over a year, but have been absent over most of the summer. Glad you've joined us, and it's clear you have talent. Welcome aboard!

Lemme see.... as for your linking challenges, I don't know why it's messing you up. UBB code is a little different than HTML, but not that bad to figure out. I've noticed that if I just type "http://" before the link, that I don't need to add any code (similar to when you type links in email), it will come up as a link automatically. Someone showed me how to make a "fancy" link with code for my signature line (below) but I'd have to look up my profile page to remember how I did that.

Soundclick is the predominant site JPF'ers use for sharing their music files. It's free and VERY user-friendly to set up. There's no rule you have to use it, of course, but it doesn't hurt to be there, either. Some use myspace, which I'm not personally fond of (though I still keep one, in case anyone's looking for me there). People like the link to the actual song page. Graham's method works for copying the link. Mine is, I navigate to the actual song page, then highlight the URL from the top of the browser page, and copy & paste that into my post.

As for the song--I didn't get that it was military at all. Maybe that's because it's late and I'm brain-dead (it's been known to happen!). But I also took "soul" to mean a moral compass and I thought he was some deadbeet with a bad habit that wound up taking his life. OOOPS. "Never was with her" is a good sounding line, but it's maybe too vague. I wondered if she was the mistress, maybe, or they had never really established a relationship, when I heard "with her." Dunno. Anyway, it sounds nice and you've done nice work with it.

Fun to see all your songs coming in, Marlene! Is it like having the kids back from college?

Linda

SUB -- CLICK HERE:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=707821&songID=5784711

That should work.

PS, Tiffany -- if you have techie questions about the JPF site, feel free to PM me and I will help you if I'm able.

G'night all!
Linda

Hi Linda...Thanks for the listen and the comments on the lyrics.
I tried that highlight thing before and I must not be getting the whole thing, or Windows hates me. sigh.

It's Windows. It hates everybody.

Thanks Linda for the Soundclick link...

Hi Girls

This is such a pretty song and Tiffany you had me pinned to my chair with your delivery. Beautiful voice and emotional performance.
Marlene we talked about demos.. this is exactly what you need to do with your songs.
Did you guys collab on this more or less? Sounds like you did.

Marlene this is what i was talking about with the demos if you hand me a song at this stage I can take it over the top with the rest of the production.

Loved everything about it as a listener. If i were A&R or publisher looking to shop the song. I may only have suggested messing with the chorus melody/phrasing just a tiny bit. It's very good as is but maybe less gospel like at the end phrase and more pop.
Of course this only applies if shopping was involved.
And that great dip Tiffany does with her voice.. I would maybe save that and use it in one part of the song to make it more effective.. Like in the chorus only or not in the chorus but in that spot in all the verses.

Tiff a very BIG WELCOME here and I sure hope to be able to obtain the services of your wonderful voice in my online studio as well as my own songs.

Great work!

Hi Mike. I contacted Tiffany and I'm sure she will be here, or PM you. We are so glad you listened and thanks for all the nice comments. I knew, right from the first that Tiffany had what it takes. I was lucky to nab her for this song before all the fuss started.
I know Tiffany was planning on a more involved production with this. I leave the music side up to her now.
Thanks again, Mike.
(I'm still trying to get something done with the other)