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Farewell For Now My Friend

© 2007 W.L. “Bill” Cooper

Third edit and now getting close.


V-1
Talked to Mom just yesterday
she told me she was fine.
Hugged me for a good long while
and then she started crying.
Dad’s holdin’ up much better
but I know he’s hurting too.
Saw him fighting back the tears
each time we mentioned you.

Chorus
So many things to tell you
things seldom said by men.
Little things kept hidden
buried deep within.
So many things to tell you
once we meet again…
Farewell For Now…… my brother
Farewell For Now…… my friend

V-2
Gave Linda all your letters
and your little girl was there.
Her daddy's big as Texas smile
and moma's golden hair.
Growin' faster than a weed
she’ll soon be three years old.
I know your going to miss her
with all your heart and soul.

Chorus
So many things to tell you
things seldom said by men.
Little things kept hidden
buried deep within.
So many things to tell you
once we meet again…
Farewell For Now…… my brother
Farewell For Now……. my friend

bridge
I cried just like a baby
when taps begin to play.
I bowed my head to hide it
but I'm not ashamed to say.
I cried because I loved you
and I’ll miss you everyday.


Chorus
So many things to tell you
things seldom said by men.
Little things kept hidden
buried deep within.
So many things to tell you
once we meet again…
Farewell For Now…… my brother
Farewell For Now……. my friend

mr. cooper
i have to say this is a real tear jerker. i think this is very well written and it flowed very nicely for me. i would love to hear music for it...i also listened to "Farewell My Heart" and let me say i cried like a baby...the vocals as well as the lyrics are amazing. thanks for sharing and i hope this is finding you and yours safe and well!

nick

Hey Bill!

This is a real tearjerker.

These sentences don't make a lot of sense to me -

Charlann

Charlann picked the burp up, though language wise it makes sense colloquially (sp??)

All in all, top notch. Nicely done. When you have it noised, give us a call

Hi Biil

Well since Charlann picked up the typo all I can say is bravo great job on this one. I agree with the rest real tear jerker nice story nicely written. Now as everyone agrees music please!

Hi Bill

Sad and moving tale...I'd still do some bits of trimming.

I saw your Mom just yesterday
she told me she was fine
Hugged me for a good long while
before she started crying.
Your Dad is still (omit as ) tough as nails
but the pain is showing through.
I saw him fighting back (omit the) tears
each time we mentioned you.

So many things to SHARE (omit)tell you
once we meet agAin.
But for now I'll leave you here to rest
Farewell To You My Friend.

Gave Linda all your letters
(omit and) your little girl was there.
Her daddy's big as Texas smile
and momma's golden hair.
Growin' like a weed (omit you know)
she'll soon be three years old.
I know you gotta (omit ?too) miss her
with all you heart and soul.

I bowed my head to hide THEM
but I'm not ashamed to say.
I cried TEARS like a baby
when taps begin to play.


Just my spin, Take or leave. jm

Hi Bill,

Really good write, boy you're on a roll. Only thing that read awkward to me was in verse 2 "I know your gotta too miss her". I'm guessing you meant "I know your gonna miss her" atleast I think that's what you meant. Perhaps you could say "I know you're really gonna miss her" or "I know how much you'll miss her". Otherwise I think it flows. The "taps" in the bridge right away explains it's someone who was military and that was clever using just one word to give so much information.

Best,
Lynn

Mornin’ Mr Nick,

Thanks for the read and kind words

Just now made my first edit and may be awhile before its ready for music.

Still working on the story and yet to look at how it meters.

Thanks for checking out my music “Farewell My Heart” was my very first song, I like to think I could do it better now but it was such a special song to me and to my daughter, there is no way I would ever change one word.

Regards
Bill

Hi John,

Thanks for the read I think the burp in gone by now.

Yeah hopefully it will end up deserving of noise? Not many of ‘em do

Regards
Bill

Mornin’ Charlann,

Sorry must have missed your post, now I see the burp John mentioned

Yeah it should have been (going to)

Thanks for the heads up.

Regards
Bill

"KUDOS" for a Fine Sad One, Bro Bill!

Good Narration of a Soldier's Aftermath, & the Ones Who Love Him Still.

Only Sugs I have:

"HER Mama's golden hair"..& fix typo last line of V1, "With all youR heart & soul"

Maybe delete "Kept" in da Bridge.

Keepem/Sweepem, Amigo, and Good Luck with a Very Good Lyric!

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Hey Bill,

Looks like trying to catch up on some sleep last night made me late for this party...

Just wanted to add my kudos...You packed a lot of emotion into this one, and did so in a very understated way.

Great -- though sad, sad, sad -- job.

Beth

Hi Bill,

Well done. I like sad songs. Most of them come from where songs should, the heart. This one flows well. Good luck with it.

HI Lost Bill, Powerful writing. Outside of a couple fixes already done, I don't find much to nit
Good job
Wy

Hi ajk,

Thanks for the read and kind words

Regards
Bill

Hi J.M.

Thanks for the visit and I appreciate the suggestions

Regards
Bill

Very well done Bill

This song flows very well. Sometimes reading other people's lyrics, you can't get the words to fit together right. Of course the song itself was very good...you can't go wrong with a sentimental tune. Everyone needs a good cry once in a while!

Hi Bill

tend to agree and disagree with Joice, depends on whether or not this is done in narrative style, if so the little connecting words help keep the audience in touch, if not then....

rittman

Hi Lynn,

Thanks for the read and feedback

Happy you thought slipping TAPs into the bridge was cleaver, so many war songs around I was looking for a cleaver way to set this one apart.

Not sure if its working or not

Thanks
Bill

Hi Stan,

Thanks for the kind words and suggestions

Been through a couple of edits, thank I took care of all the things you mentioned.

Regards
Bill

Hi Beth,

Thanks for the kudos.

I appreciate your visits and feedback

Regards
Bill

Mornin’ John,

Thanks for the visit and kind words


Regards
Bill

Mornin’ Wy,

Thanks for the looking in.

Regards
Bill

Hi Noel,

Thanks for the read and “well done”

Regards
Bill

Hi Daielle,

Happy you were able to get into the flow.


Regards
Bill

Bill,
It's been awhile since I've been on JPF, but reading this certainly made me glad I took a look today. I Loved it! It hits home on many levels and is well written. Thanks.
Jay