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IRAN
by Fdemetrio - 04/15/26 12:27 PM
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PETE
by Fdemetrio - 04/14/26 06:57 AM
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This one is really raw. Just took it of my notes. I wish that muse would quit bringing me stuff that'll never make a dollar and bring me something that might have a "remote" chance of bringing in a dollar someday. This theme has been done before , I know. Wy (I borrowed a few of Kaley's dots. Heck, she ain't usin' them anyway.) Lets Split It c Wyman Griffith V 1 You can have the front half of the car I'll put a new motor on the back Buy the front wheels off a Chevy Call it a poor mans Cadillac I wanta' talk about the dog But as for the house C Lets... split it You can have the big bath The one with the spa to take care of those wrinkles Before they get too far You can have the big T V But I'll keep both remotes You need the exercise You're gettin' fat you know I'll even split the pain So you'll have plenty to give him I wanta' talk about the dog V 2 You can move your paramour right in Ain't no need to sneak around We won't try the lawyer I can get one for ten dollars down I wanta' talk about the dog But as for the house C Lets... split it You can have the big bath The one with the spa to take care of those wrinkles Before they get too far You can have the big T V But I'll keep both remotes You need the exercise You're gettin' fat you know I'll even split the pain So you'll have plenty to give him I wanta' talk about the dog B I'll buy that empty lot in back Drive in from the other side We can split the love birds sure enough They don't even like each other much Now about the dog..... He can choose between Cause he don't like you As good as me C Lets... split it You can have the big bath The one with the spa to take care of those wrinkles Before they get too far You can keep the big T V But I'll keep both remotes You need the exercise You're gettin' fat you know I'll even split the pain So you'll have plenty to give him But about the dog. C Lets... split it You can have the big bath The one with the spa to take care of those wrinkles Before they get too far You can have the big T V But I'll keep both remotes You need the exercise You're gettin' fat you know I'll even split the pain So you'll have plenty to give him How about the dog.
Last edited by Wyman Lloyd; 08/28/07 10:23 PM.
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This one's good Wy. Just 2 suggestion lines.
call it "This" Poor mans cadillac.
Ah "such" freedom would be sweet.
I absolutely love the first two lines of the bridge...YES!
R.T.
Like The Barenaked Ladies wrote...It's all been done before. Keep writing what you feel and if someone else feels IT too, that's when you've made it. Hopefully, that person has money or is a record producer. ;-}
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This is good Wy. Good progression of the story.
I really like the rhyme, back and cadillac.
In v.2, I'd love to see you develop a tongue in cheek way of saying we'll split the lawyer in half....
I like the first two lines of the bridge, but feel like there might be something better to get back into let's split it.
This could be done with a saucy attitude and a tag on the end, Now, about the dog....
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I'm thinking on both those lines R T. I'll see if I get some other thoughts on them. Thanks for looking it over. More coffee Wy
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Hey Wy!
Make it a mobile home/trailer and it'll be perfect for rednecks!
too funny!
Charlann
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Hey Wy, It's a fun song, but I'd love you to try what Vondelle suggested. I truly feel it would kick this up to the next level! (especially the dog idea...) Best of luck.
Heidi
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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Hmm, this thread must've moved. 'Bout forgot Vondelle. How could I forget Vondelle? Hey Vondelle, I'm thinkin' on the dog lines, 'specially since Heidi seconded it. She knows stuff. Can't see an unmessy way of splitting the dog so all I've come up with so far is he doesn't wanta' split the dog so he's going to have 'em build a doggie door in the wall and let him choose cause it likes me better than you anyway? Thanks for the ideas Wy
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Well, I edited in a doggie V in response to Vondelle and Heida's sugs. Wy (I'm still thinking on the ;ast two B lnes Vondelle)
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Hey Wy, I could be mistaken, but I think Vondelle was hoping you'd use a clever last line for a bridge like the one she suggested, "Now, about the dog..." You'd just be suggesting the idea of splitting it without saying anything else. That's what makes it funny.
So, I'm lending a crude example of what I think she was saying:
B
You take the quiet. I'll take the noise and live high on the hog. We can split the loves birds easy enough. Now, about the dog...(might be funnier if spoken)
It's a funny last line to lead into the chorus. (I hope I'm trackin' with you, Vondelle!) Of course, you don't have to use the word "dog" as your last word in the phrase because there aren't a bunch of rhymes to choose from, but you get the idea.
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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Hi Charlann, Yep, that'd fit right in all right, ala Gretchen Wilson. Well, it's probably pretty red necked anyway though. Thanks for the idea Wy
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Hy, Wy! Good start on this. I was thinking that you could make the chorus more general about splitting and put the house in a verse instead. Good luck with this. Like the dog part. Very cute.
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Hi Jean .Good to see you come by. I'm in need of some expert guidance. That's an interesting idea. Should be easy to condense the present C down to a verse to start the song with. Have you got any ideas on a C? I guess the muse'l bring me some when i get her re oriented. (She's hard headed <G>). My mind won't turn in that direction yet, but she'll come around. She's not as tough as she lets on Wy
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Hello Wy,
About the dog line, I really was thinking a tag at the very end. I do like the dog verse you put in since you made it clear you were not splitting the dog. Run with any ideas any direction you please.
Jean's idea about moving the house to a verse is interesting. For some general ideas about the title, "Let's Split It", I would brainstorm how you split things and see what ends up on the drawing board. You split logs. Is everything going to be split evenly? When you're in love, you share; when you break up, you split it. There. I scribbled on your drawing board.
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Hmmm … something like this for the chorus would work but you would have to work in her boyfriend in the first verse.
Chorus Let's... split it right down the middle. Everything we had together will become a yours and mine. Yeah, let's split it _ especially the pain, but you can keep my part of that to give to what's his name.
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hi Wy
This wasn;t supposed to be a re-write--I got carried away and silly about splittin the house--- you monster you! and she can use the Shell station on the corner (What about that?????annie =================================================== Lets Split It c Wyman Griffith
V 1 You can have the front half of the car I'll put a new motor on the back Buy the front wheels off a Chevy Call it a poor mans Cadillac Lets... split it V 2 The house right down the middle I know a guy who'll do it cheap Build a brick wall up and through the attic Without a doorway in between C'mon' ...lets split it C Lets... split it I’ll take the kitchen and the bath The little bedroom in the back And the Television set There’s a fancy bedroom for you And ya got the living room Plus the cute dinette C'mon' ...lets split it
V 3 You can have your paramour Come and go as you please But make sure you use the wagon trail Out that side door to the east. Lets... split it V4 YEAH I’ll have the driveway We won't ever have to meet We can even split the pain (there's Jean's pain) Ah, but freedom will be sweet C'mon' ...lets split it
BR) Heidie's You take the quiet. I'll take the noise and live high on the hog. We can split the loves birds easy enough. Now, about the dog...(might be funnier if spoken)Mae seconds that motion.
C Lets... split it I’ll take the kitchen and the bath The little bedroom in the back And the Television set There’s a fancy bedroom for you And ya got the living room Plus the cute dinette C'mon' ...lets split it
C'mon' ...lets split it
Last edited by Annie Tennisco; 07/27/07 03:27 PM.
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Whoops, Heidi caame back on again Hi Heidi, These lines are interesting all right-- We can split the loves birds easy enough. Now, about the dog...(might be funnier if spoken)
Maybe I could lead into the Bridge with -- "Now about the dog" Yeah , spoken is almost necessary sometimes. Words on paper csn only express "so much" Thnks for coming back and thoughts. Still very much under construction Wy
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aww Wy
You ignored my consolidation to split the house a different way?
annie
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Awww, Annie Mae, would I ignore you? I'll see how many ways the house can be split.Jean wants to split the house, Well, lemme see where Jean wants to split the house at---Yeah, she wants to split the house in the C anyway ,so that would be re write. I'll see what I can do. Ya; see, so many good suggestions I get confused. You wouldn't understand but it's an "age" thing. Wy
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Well, Annie Mae, to make up for ignoring you I started a little song in your honor, being as you live way up north. not finished but maybe someone has some ideas on it. (Or you might even wanta' co write it to see that it didn't get too "radical" <G>)
Annie Mae
Annie lived away up north Among the polar bears They woulda' liked to eat 'er But Annie didn't care Ya' see she knew that she was safe And they were really scared Cause Annie had 'er bluff in On them polar bears
They knew that they could find a seal In every nook and cranny Still they woulda' liked to have Some tender, juicy Annie
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0h wymam, you nut
That is pretty damned cute............... ..........................but I am a looooooooooooooooooooooong way from polar bears ( hope?)
annie
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OK, I copied and pasted Annie and Jean's sug into save and I'll see what I can do. (Such language Annie!!!! <G>) Wy (I got Heidi's in there too. Annie got me confused)
Last edited by Wyman Lloyd; 07/29/07 03:24 PM.
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Ok, To satisfy all you good folks (maybe), I'm going to edit in a somewhat drastically changed C. (Soon as I get it pieced together, Wy Awright, I done did it. Might be a bit ragged yet. That's 'bout the biggest rewrite I've done for a while, but it's important to keep women happy. Life just goes better that way. I told that to son and he said, "Yeah, it took me thirty years to learn that. I said ", "Well, that's not so bad, Some guys "never" learn it <G> Wy
Last edited by Wyman Lloyd; 07/29/07 08:30 PM.
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hi Wyman
Very smooth now
This: Cause he don't like you As good as me
..kinda sounds like you like her better than the dog likes her?
so..............ideas t make it clear--too many syllables...but
Cause he don't like you 1.)Likes t' hang with me. 2.)As much as he likes me 3.)Has more fun with me
cheerio annie
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Hi Wy!
One thing … at the end of the verses you say " about the dog …" and then the first line of the chorus is "let's split it" which makes it look like you are splitting the dog.
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Jean, I think that was the idea...to make it look like he's trying to figure out what to do about the dog, and then sing "let's split it." I think that's funny, but that's just me.
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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I do too! which some people might think but the C goes on to talk abouyt splittable things.
annie
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Hmmm, this board does move once in a while. Awright Annie Mae, Howdaya' like this----- He don't like you But he loves me (Now if I can just figure out what the rest of these women are saying. (Women always were a riddle. Or maybe a riddle wrapped in an enigma. Or was that an enigma wrapped in a riddle? Well, either way <g>) Wy (My sinus's are killing me)
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That'll do it. Wyman
and these girls?? well Ii think Jean was wondering when you say
But about the dog.....
C Lets... split it
That you mean to split the dog--but you don't! You get 'off topic' and talk about the house.
Heidi understands and I do and now maybe Jean will.
cheers annie
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Hey Annie, Well Jean has a point It's a bit of a stretch. I guess he could be debating about splitting the dog till he comes up with the solution .The C kinda' contradicts that though. But the last line I made, "HOW about the dog, like he's seeing if she'll agree with his solution. Well, I'll maybe see if Jean can "swaller" that Wy
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I'll catch this all up. That's the idea Heidi, but could be taken other ways. I don't know if it's confusing or not. Jeeeean , oh Jeeeean, you gonna' make me change that? Wy
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Hey Wy
it makes total sense that the dog would come to his mind....but there is no solution ..yet, so he carries on with other stuiff..............repeat until you finally figure out the answer that he loves you more.
That's what you've got. I hear it that way! annie
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That's what you've got. I hear it that way! annie
If that's the way you hear it Annie Mae, that must be the way it is. <G> I guess we;ll close up the dog house. Wy (Thanks Annie)
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People hearing this for the first time will think you are talking about the dog. That's how it will sound when it's sung. I wouldn't mention the dog until the bridge OR you need to change the dog line so that it won't sound like you are splitting the dog.
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There you are Jean, Well, I like the dog line, but did think about trying to change it so it wasn't confusing. I'll see what I can do Thanks Wy
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OK Jean and everybody, Whattaya' think of the modification I edited in? Wy
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Wy, I still think it's funny when you go from the dog line right into the chorus. Yes, it does sound like you are talking about splitting the dog...that's why it's funny. But, I like humorous lyrics. The fact that you can confuse it and think he's talking about the dog is what makes it funny. But, it's your song and you should do what you feel is best.
Good luck!
Last edited by Heidi Thompson; 08/05/07 04:39 AM.
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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Hmmm, you could keep the dog line if you say:
but about the dog…
Then: Let's split it. No not the dog -the house!
or
No, not the dog- the unimportant stuff!
(and then put the rest of the chorus in.:
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Dang it Jean-------Now I know it's none of my business, but are you by any chance Irish or Welsh or red headed? I mean , you're 'pert near as hardheaded as I am <G> Wy
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Thanks Annie, but Jean may kill me or somethin'. I don't really know her well enough to say things like that <G> Wy (And is that a reddish tinge I detect in "your" hair? (Heck, I'd just as well be in trouble with "everybody" <G>)
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Irish and auburn  with freckles.
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I knew it!!!! , I knew it!!! I can spot 'em every time. Even at long distance. I told that long time ago Char that used to be on the board who was similarly afflicted that I just didn't understand it. I must have either been born under the wrong star or just have a death wish.<G> (Freckles? , Oh Lord, Freckles. I had a looong association with freckles. (Actually it was quite interesting though <G>) Wy (And I'll bet anything, that "Far North Annie" has some red in her bair. (No wonder them there polar bears are scared of her. Smart bears. <G>)
Last edited by Wyman Lloyd; 08/05/07 09:50 PM.
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Hey Wy,
I have to agree with what Heidi said, I think the part about the dog is funny left as is. Good one, I like it. Emmy
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Hey Wyman
yes I have some red in my hair. My hairdresser says women spend a fortune to have the colours I have naturally, dark brown, light brown, red and blond, and a very intersting patch of gray--I earned it--on the top right side, yet difficult to see sometimes.
Now Heidi and I have Emmy with us--end every verse-- Now about the dog......... (just a few strums then bang into the Chorus with
"Let's Split It.................... The house parts--boy I see it as clear as a bell----------FunEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
annie
Last edited by Annie Tennisco; 08/06/07 06:40 AM.
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Wymann,
I liked this, Being around in the military i see relationships fall apart fast.. this one fellow was dating a stripper (yes i know i know... what good can come from that?) ut he was, we went to Kosovo, and upon our return we found that she took half of everything. she cut the shower curtin in half, took the bottom of the trash can, left the lid, they had 2 matching sets of towels 4 yellow 4 deep blue, she took 2 of each. oh gosh i felt for him, but i couldn't stop laughing. she must have had a fun time leaving him, (why do i think it is funny?) gosh i must be sick...
cheers- steve
hey, what about the dog?
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Well, it's Emmy of the wilderness, Rose Of The mountains and other such desigjnations.-- Oh they called her the Rose Of The Mountains------
I thought maybe you were lost in the hills. How come you don't like as very good and only come by once in a while? On "Split" I don't know if you saw the way I had it before though or if you just mean you like it the way it is now.
Hey again Annie Mae. Hmmm --dark brown, light brown , red and blonde plus an interesting patch of gray---does that mean you have all the good qualities of those various shades or does it mean something else? <G> UMM "Split"---I'm not sure this late comer Emmy person even "saw" the original. Lessee, I'm going to catch this up if it kills me (Which it probably will)--Heidi and Annie of the Northland and maybe latecomer person want the original with the dog at the end of each segment and Irish, auburn and freckles want's it explained more. I'll have to consider this. Mabe, I'll do it off board----------- cut, cut , cut, cut, cut cudak (This has been quite a discussion) (Man, houses are hard to split peacefully) (Which is probably quite true) Wy
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Hey Wy, For what it's worth, I still like the dog line as the last of the bridge. It's just a funny interjected shocker that will cause a chuckle because of the shock value. It doesn't say that you want to split the dog, but it does make you think that thought.
BTW, my hair is actually deep red, but you can't tell in my photo. Guess you are attractin' the fiesty ones, Wy!
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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Hey Heidi,Well, I'm undecided about the dog. I see what you're saying about the bridge all right. It's a natural for a bridge. I kinda wanted to build up some suspense for ir though. Hmmm, I wonder if I could just "hinr" at it at the end of the verses and C?. Like---"But there's one more thing" or "Then there's this other thing". "Deep red"---I thought sometimes it looked red in your pic but then I thought, naah, I think it's black and I didn't wanta' falsely accuse you. "attractin' the fiesty ones,"---Yep, story a' my life, sigh. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so dang old. Well a lotta' times I wish I wasn't so dang old<G> One more thing on the split song, i just wrote it as kind of a "lark" but do you think , (Or anyone else), this song could actually find a home? Thanks fot the comeback Wy
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Top 30 Poster
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OP
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578 |
Hey Heidi,Well, I'm undecided about the dog. I see what you're saying about the bridge all right. It's a natural for a bridge. I kinda wanted to build up some suspense for it though. Hmmm, I wonder if I could just "hint" at it at the end of the verses and C?. Like---"But there's one more thing" or "Then there's this other thing". "Deep red"---I thought sometimes it looked red in your pic but then I thought, naah, I think it's black and I didn't wanta' falsely accuse you. "attractin' the fiesty ones,"---Yep, story a' my life, sigh. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so dang old. Well a lotta' times I wish I wasn't so dang old<G> One more thing on the split song, i just wrote it as kind of a "lark" but do you think , (Or anyone else), this song could actually find a home? Thanks fot the comeback Wy
Last edited by Wyman Lloyd; 08/13/07 11:26 AM.
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,316
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,316 |
Wy,
I can see everyone else is keeping you working hard on this song. Good rewrite.
I am not sure why you are ending the chorus with 'about the dog'. I would repeat 'Lets...split it' on the end of the chorus to reinforce the hook.
I'm not sure the dog's opinion matters so maybe something like, You can take half the pain, but I'll take the whole dog because he likes me better than you.
With some upbeat country music, I think this could be commercial and find, uh, half a home. hee, hee.
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