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Keep It Simple
Patricia Baker, BMI

Don’t tell me that you love me
Don’t say things you don’t really mean
Make me glad that I came here
Don’t treat me like I’m sixteen

And, don’t whisper promises
Unless they’re ones you know you’ll keep
Don’t offer wishful thinking
A sip from a well that deep

Chorus
If it is what it is
Unless it’s more than this
Keep it simple
Keep it simple

Don’t make love to me tonight
Then go back to calling us friends
My heart can’t tell the diff’rence
Where your bound’ries start or where they end

It’s not your fear of falling
It’s indecision I’d regret
Don’t take me then forsake me
‘Cause I won’t forgive or forget

Repeat Chorus

Bridge
Don’t turn the lights way down low
Or turn on that radio
Even if I get a little mellow

Repeat Chorus

Good Sunday Mornin' HiDee Mz Trish!

A Good Warnin'Ya Gal kinda Song here...Fine Hook!

I think "OR say things you don't really mean" WOULD "Keep it Simple"...(feels like One Too Many "Dont's" in that line.)

Maybe "Don't treat me like I'm STILL sixteen" & "That well runs a bit too deep"...

Chorus comes off as maybe TOO simple. (But that's cuz I'm a Guy...)

OK, it got More & More Profound with Every Reading. "KUDOS"..it's a Gem!

Next Verse, Lines could be Simpled-Up some again, JMO.
"Then go back & call us 'friends'"
"I don't forgive; I don't forget" I DO recommend...(K-O-S) alla My Recommendations...La Femme allus does~!


"Where your bounbdaries start or end"

"Your" kinda confuses, so I'd say "THIS fear of falling"

Sorry these line sugs are outta order...La Femme's Computer's givin me jitters again. DO have a new Laptop I'm tryin' to Master..real soon..thanks to Best Buy's latest Sale!

Good Luck with this Good'n'!
Big Hugs,
Stan

Howdy, Stan. Some good suggestions. This'ns still wet ink. Was in my head last night (must've been the eclipse) and it was keeping me awake. Will work on it more later. Hang in there with those computers. They can give us fits, can't they? I guess Kaley's still offline, too.

Mornin' Trish

Yeah....I want to pick on that well line too....'cause that well is way to deep....is my suggestion...rest looks good....

Dots for Kales

John, I'll let you be the meter police anyday. Thanks. Dots for Kaley? I'll bet she's seeing dots right about now. I know I would be.

Hi Tricia

I fear that the thing a listener will remember most about this is "Don'T" ....there are six in the first two verses alone out of nine. Maybe if the chorus with the make it simple part is really memorable it will overcome that, but maybe you should call it Don't.

I like this verse the best. Wondering if you considered "our" boundaries here.

Anyway, just my thoughts. Take or leave. jm

Don’t make love to me tonight
Then go back to calling us friends
My heart can’t tell the diff’rence
Where your bound’ries start or (omit where they) end

Saturday night I was listening to the blues channel. That's been where I've found the most inspiration lately, JM. Anything goes with blues. However, I'll look over this one to see if there's any other way to word it to make it less negative. My character's a little bossy, ain't she?

Tricia,
I like everything but the title/hook. Keep it simple is a recipe for making something but the song is about not making anything more of it. I say coin a new phrase/hook & chorus to reflect what she wants.JMHO

John

Hummmm. Ok, John. I'll think on it and see what I can come up with.

Trish,

This lyric reminds me of the sober eyed beauty I courted and married. She was such a loyal person that her dating life was quite painful. Guys would tell her, "Let's just be friends" then take a hike at a break up.

At one point, she thought I was just playing the field also from an unwise comment my little sister made. It was true that before returning to college after breaking up with a girl I had gone with five years that I had said I intended to date a bunch of girls to make up for the half decade I'd been out of circulation. That was before I met Judi, however.

Judi came down to the dorm lobby, looked me in the eye, and said with the greatest passion and sincerity, "Don't ever lie to me." I had no clue what I had done to upset her. I could see she was deeply upset, so I took her over to the empty girls' dorm chapel with the huge picture of Christ standing smiling down up front. It was there with Jesus looking down at us, I first kissed her. On the forehead. (I've branched out considerably since!)

I like it when a lady has the respect for herself that your lyric expresses here. In fact, that is the only sort of lady I'd be interested in.

Good work. Keep writing.

Skip

Skip, that's a cool story. I've had two males lately (within a couple of months) tell me that they have a girlfriend but they're just friends. Ok, now I'm an adult and I've been married all my life but it just got me to thinking.....what does being friends entail, exactly? I'm glad I'm married because I can see that I wouldn't fit in to this way of thinking. When I was 17 or 18, I only dated folks I considered "marriage candidates". Now, I know ya'll are giggling and thinking that I dated back in the Dark Ages. Why, yes, I had a few dates before I was married. I just can't deal with these young "whippersnappers" who think "just friends" really means what they mean. Maybe I'm being unfair or judgmental. And, while we're on the subject, Skip, how come a woman would put up with this horse hockey line of thinking? I'm thinking it ought to be the way it was when I was coming up in the world-if you want the milk you got to buy the cow. Sorry, Charlie, but rules were rules back in my day. Hehehe. The Good Old Days when you put a ring on the girl's hand if you wanted her cause if you didn't someone else might snatch her up. Now, that's what I'm talking about. That's MY kind of man.

Hi Tricia
I like your lyrics - nice story- plain and simple but true

Regards
Luckylady

Howdy Ms. Tricia!

Ya know I've always been a fan and here's another reason why! This'un just jumped up and sang to me!

Ok, I've got a few suggestions to smooth it out (for my head-singer at least- dunno about yours):

I'd change: Don't say things you don't really mean
to: Don't say things that you don't mean

and: Unless they're ones you know you'll keep
to: Unless they're promises you'll keep

In the other LA (where I live) I've never heard this phrase:
A sip from a well that deep
so I don't quite know what to make of it. It sounds kinda gratuitously rhymed or something, possibly because it's an unfamiliar phrase to me... So I'd go with something like:
'cuz ya know that talk is cheap or somesuch...

And I think Stan and Joice were spot on in shortening this:
Where your bound’ries start or where they end
to: Where your bound'ries start or end

Keep or sweep of course!!

Anyhow, I like where you are going. And thank you, thank you, thank you for keepin' the chorus nice and concise... Keep It Simple seems like a good way of life to me!!

Uncle Chuck

Hi Tricia,

I think you may be on to something here. If you've been listening the blues channel as you said this may be why you came up w/this. It can go very bluesy if you take it that direction.
Either way I felt the chorus was alittle shy of information. I think your trying to tell the guy "let me know here" and the chorus doesn't spell it out as well as it could so here's an a possible idea:


Just keep it simple,
Give it to me straight,
If it's love, it's love,
(And)If it ain't it ain't.

Possible bridge:

My heart can't handle free falls,
So baby (darling) just be blunt,
I'm lookin here for honesty,
I want it all upfront.

I'd change the "sip from the well" line also and shorten boundaries line as Joice and Stanrecommended.

Just some ideas here Trisha. Good luck.

Best,
Lynn

Hey, Uncle Chuck, Lynn and Luckylady. Thanks for the suggestions and for the visits. Someone has expressed an interest in the lyric so let's see what spin he puts on it! I'm excited!

Hi Tricia,

Hope you're doing well today.
I enjoyed your story of dating in the dark ages ( hey theres a good hook ). I smiled all the way through it.
I like this song, and you've gotten some nice suggestions.
I agree with a few words chopped here and there for smoothness.
Have a great day.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! Sometimes I'm logged in immediately on clicking the site. Other times not. It was I, Ben F, who replied above, but can't edit it, so I have to use a whole new space. Sorry.

Hey, Ben. Sorry you're having difficulty. I didn't know visitors could post comments. Cool! Thanks for the suggestions.

Hi Tricia,
I would have responded sooner, but most of the points were already taken. Reading intentions in relationships is an art most of us never master.
It's easy to tell what's on yor mind
wish I could tell what's in your heart
keep up the great writing

Dennis, that's a really good suggestion! Thanks. I'd probably want to shorten it to:

I know what's on your mind
Wish I could tell what's in your heart

Happy Weekend, Everyone!! TGIF!!