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This is actually the name of the daughter of a good friend of mine. I just thought it sounded so rhythmic I had to wrap a lyric around it...so because it sounds so Irish... the lyric had to have that "feel" to it. Hope this comes through for you. Let me know how it can be improved.

Hugs,
Bobbie

Kylie McGuire
© 2006 Lyrics by Bobbie Gallup ASCAP

I saw the sunlight glist'ning
On your flowing auburn tresses
Your smile filled my heart
Like a pint o' stout refreshes
Lassie, you're a strange one
But Lord, you're not to blame
'Cause your mama's gone and left ya
And your daddy's wildness is your shame

CHORUS:
Sweet Kylie McGuire
Innocent and alluring
Bewitching and amusing
Never reassuring
The line between right and wrong
You be this moment blurring

How do you know these things
That are far beyond your ken
Are ye gifted with the second sight
Are ye no one o' them?
The tales they tell of legends past
Seem wrapped up in your eyes
All the wisdom and the longing
And the sadness of their cries

CHORUS: Repeat

BRIDGE:
I'll walk these moors forever
To escape the magic power of your gaze
But you hold the key to the likes 'o me
And will...forever...and a day

CHORUS: Repeat



[This message has been edited by Bobbie Gallup (edited 04-17-2006).]

Another great write, Bobbie! My only stumble was the 'Guinness' line. Methinks you want to use it because its the best known Irish beer, but as any Irishman will tell ya: it's the POUR that really counts. so you could try:

Like a well-poured pint refreshes

As always, just my 2-Take what helps, dump what don't--Al

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Keep dreamin', keep writing

Well Bobbie I'm off to the grocery store to buy some Lucky Charms cereal. Like it!!! Don Henly loves doing Irish songs, sure can hear him doing this one!

Howdy Al,

LOL Not being a drinker...I have NO clue what actually matters in that regard, so I will take your word for it. When I was over there...we went to the Guinness plant. YIKES that place smells like sour yeast! I originally had a pint o' stout in that line...but figured everyone would know what Guinness was. It didn't quite feel right to me either, meter-wise..so I will probably take your idea and insert it there. I did fall in love with the traditional music being played in the pubs in the evenings. I could listen to that stuff forever. I almost brought back a bodhran drum but it wouldn't fit in my luggage.

Thanks so much for the excellent suggestion! Greatly appreciated.

Hugs,
Bobbie

Howdy Rittmeister...

I had no idea Henly loved Irish songs. Next time I see him, I'll be sure to give him a copy o' this one! YEAH..>RIGHTTTT!! Save some of those Lucky Charms for me. Nothing like a good bowl of cereal! Glad you like this one. Once I started this one off..the rest of the words flowed pretty quickly. I like it when that happens!!

Thanks for the visit and the viewpoint!

Hugs,
Bobbie

The tales they tell of legends past
Seem wrapped up in your eyes

Love that!!

tis a fine...write this morning...me lassie......

don't care for the second...wildness...

Since the wee lass..is a quite the combination package.....maybe you could put...longing?..there..

a very singable..irish number you
have going this morning, B.G.

best to you w/hugs..............
Kaley.......

Good Morning Bobbie -
This is very nice - I did peek early early this morning ... too early to actully type .. I stumbled on the Guinness... Now I see a wonderful fix is in its place ..

I always remember that not all songs need a bridge .. but if you are going to put one in, it better be strong and have a reason to be there...
I LOVE your bridge!!!

I do get the Irish feel you intended.
Great Job
Joanne

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Hey, Bobbie,
Don't see anything drastically wrong, so I'd have to get a bit "nitty"
I stumble on Guiness for a different reason=--Guiness refreshes---doesn't roll off my tongue too well. Tex's fix would work or 'stout" instead of Guiness either.
Maybe another word, 'stead of wildness in L 8--V 1, since it's used later on.
I'd like to see "beguiling in the C, probably mainly for the 'chime" back to 1st line--C
Reassuring seems somewhat of an odd choice, maybe partly done for rhyme. I'd rather see
______,never choosing, would need a set up word though.
V 2--You can decide whether it's valid or not but at ;east one of my "evaluators" whould probably say ---"What things? and who are "them'. I guess line 2 kinda' explains line 1 to some extent, but I'd like to know who they are at least. Maybe in line 3 something like---Do you have the fairy foresight" or something.(Fairy" has had other meanings here but in an Irish orietned song, don't see a problem.) "Leprechauns" would be good, but hard to get in.
All in all a good write.
More coffee
P S, Om "things' and "them" The Irish would probably understand all right, but it's pretty hard to beat the Irish at writing an Irish song (OK so an Englishman wrote Danny Boy, exception <G> ) I guess I mostly think marketing, so on my own, I generally try to write it so others can understand it too. If it's a good song, should appeal to more than the Irish.
Wy
(Did I say that I thought you were a better writer than even a year or two ago? No,? --Good ,I wouldn't wanta' say anything like that <G> )



[This message has been edited by Wyman Lloyd (edited 04-17-2006).]

Top o' the mornin' to ye Ms PA Kaley,

I almost used your name instead of Kylie..but I figured I better stay away from that. Didn't wanna create no ill will. LOL Glad you enjoyed this one. I had noted that double use of WILD in here but couldn't immediately come up with a good alternative. I think your "longing" works perfectly for that second spot..so may just grab that up if'n ya don't mind! I kinda want to keep that first wildness as a teaser to the dad of this gal, cause he probably will get a kick out of it. If this could get some fine Irish music, I know who I'll pitch it to.

Certainly do appreciate the thoughtful visit this fine mornin'. Got hot turnovers to enjoy out on the porch swing. Darn, I am at work so I can't really DO that but it sounded good, didn;t it? I'd even have put the coffee on for ya so's we could sit a spell.

Hugs,
Bobbie

Good mornin' Ms Joanne!

So nice of you to come by and pay some attention to this lyric. I had the word "stout" in there and switched it to Guinness because I wasn't sure anyone would know what stout was...but the two syllable word and stresses on Guinness didn't really work for me either...so I went back to stout. I am thinking that anyone who is familiar with Irish music and all things Irish will know what it refers to anyway.

I seem to have developed a penchant for bridges...but hopefully, I don't abuse the priviledge. I just want them to work...and to provide composers with some breathing space. Some composers love 'em...some don't. I guess I enjoy the opportunity they give to add a slightly different perspective in a lyric. Glad you really enjoy this one.

Hope you are able to wean off those drugs soon..as much fun as they can be! Just hope the back is doing MUCH better!

Hugs,
Bobbie

Howdy Wy,

You sure better be careful now or somebody's gonna think you are going all soft on us! Can't be havin' none o' that now!

I am totally over using Guinness..didn't flow right to me either, so it's gone. Still toying with Al's suggestion on the "pour". On that beguiling word..I really like that a lot. Which word were you thinking I should replace with that? I kinda need to keep that reassuring one in there for the rhyme..plus it hints at the fact that this girl is unsettling to him. Gives him no feeling of ease..if that makes sense?

My Irish ancestors, as I recall, were "gifted" with what they termed "second sight"..which is actually a form of prediction or being able to see the future. I switched that adjective there to use the word second. Not sure folks who aren't Irish will understand..but at least I think it'll get across that it is some kind of intuitive gift. Not sure about the faeries and leprechauns...LOL those seem to be almost cliche' in an Irish song. Could just be me. LOL

Danny Boy was my father's favorite song. Thank you for reminding me. Still debating on clarifying this too much. Part of what I was aiming for was a bit of the mystical feel. Am wondering if putting too much concrete stuff in it sorta defeats that purpose??? In V2...lines 1 & 2 are one continuous thought. She seems to know things that she would have no reason to know. He is asking if she has "the gift" of second sight which some folks are known to have. I am hoping that comes through there. Perhaps the gift runs in her lineage. I dunno. LOL I just made this up. Hee hee hee. Guess I can give her any lineage I want to, huh?

I daresay you have NEVER said I was a gooder writer now than then. LOL And you know I'd never let you live it down if'n ya did!! So you best not tell me such things. They'd just go to my head anyway and what good is that?

Hugs,
Bobbie

PS...if you have any thoughts to share on marketing an Irish piece, I'd love to hear 'em.

Bob
Is this gal supposed to be a bas**** , or how old is she?

Do Irish-type songs make it- except for the Irish Rovers?

Are you published? Is anyone here a published writer?
alanna

Hi Alanna,

Welcome to the lyric forum. There are a lot of great folks here, and yes, many of us are published lyricists including myself. That sure doesn't mean we all have major hits because publishing doesn't pay the bills.

Not sure what your definition is of "making it" but yes, Celtic or Celtic-type music is very popular, not only in Ireland but also here in the US and other countries. If you want more info, I'd recommend perhaps Googling Celtic music and see how many responses you get...or even going to CDBaby or some of the individuals' sites to see what kind of music is available. I happen to be a fan of Celtic music and have a fairly substantial collection. I know for sure that at least one poster on this forum has a cut on an Celtic cd and there are probably more. One of my co-writes with another person on this forum is currently under consideration for possible cut by an Irish singer. She is from Ireland but she lives in the US now and is a full time touring performer. So to answer that question, at least from my perspective, I'd say if you can make a good living touring and performing full time...that is probably success...at least in my book.

Not sure where you got the idea that this girl was born out of wedlock. That isn't stated here nor implied. This merely says that her mama left her behind..and her daddy is a wild sort of guy. I didn't state her age...but she is clearly old enough to attract a man. She could be 16...she could be 30...am not sure it matters. She has auburn hair though, so she probably isn't too old or her hair might be turning grey. Some of these details are deliberately left for the listener to imagine.

Hope you'll hang around awhile. This is a good place to share and learn. Are you a published writer? Do you have some cuts under your belt? We can always use more folks to learn from.

Hugs,
Bobbie

Oopss..missed ya there Petey!! You are so right about Guinness. It only took one sip for me to decide it was not my beverage of choice!! It definitely was not what I would call "refreshing". Of course Bailey's Irish Creme is another deal entirely! Had more than I needed to of that stuff one evening when we were staying, of all places...at a B&B called Hunting Butts. Discovered that a butts is a copse of trees left at the top of a hill to provide habitat for grouse and such (thus the hunting part). Of course my friends and I got a good chuckle out of sending cards home from THERE!!

All in all, that trip was THE best vacation I have had in ages. Ireland is SUCH a spectacular place. I'd go back in a heartbeat, but there is a small matter of money!!

Thanks for dropping back by and the good insights!!

Hugs,
Bobbie

I meant, "Are Irish songs publishable in the USA?
That's "making it"

Are you the head honcho? I never saw a response come up so fast!--F2 or F1

alanna

Yes I've been radioed!

The DRAM that refreshes Works for me Bobbie.
Let 'em order their own brew.
I'll have some Highland dew.
Thank you.
Graham

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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/grahamhenderson_music.htm

Howdy Graham,

Yep..that single malt stuff is way out of my league!! YIKES!! I like the word DRAM...works for me too.

Good to see you around here again my friend!! How are things Down Under? What have you been up to...besides no good? LOL

Hugs,
Bobbie

Bobbie,

Oughta see can you fix her up with Tobey McGuire!!
Here's a few silly ideas...

Your smile FULfilled my heart (My Irish mother used this word in this context often)

'Cause your mama's gone and left ya
And your daddy's wildness is your shame (this line seems outa meter)

CHORUS:
Bewitching and amusing
Never reassuring
RIGHT AND WRONG ONCE CERTAIN
You be this moment blurrin'

Really like this. Distinct Irish flavor to it!
Ben

Just mucking about, waiting for God and making a noise Bobbie.
Nothing I can't put off until tomorrow.
This sang along nice to a celtic waltz type thing, but I have to say them ing endings are very hard to sing melodicaly, which is a requrement of the waltz, and particularly a celtic one, and i gather that is the way you are looking here.
Unless it is to be a reel.
That may make a differance.
Graham

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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/grahamhenderson_music.htm

Hi Bobbie,

You really are a great writer. There's no way I could write something like this. I guess great writers are like great actors. You imagine yourself in the place/role...

Just shows me I've got a lot more to learn about songwriting!

Will you be putting this to music soon?
I'll be waiting to hear it!

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Rebecca

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Relating to the rewriting of lyrics --"Son, it ain't done until its cut--and then it ain't DONE 'til its a hit"
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Bobbie this is good stuff. I loved stout Irish music back in my bar hopping days. I love this. I like Tex's idear 'bout the pour. Sounds like a lost love. Marvelous.
John

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Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.

Hey Pete...got a nice bottle of Glenlivet if that'll do? One of the guys I went to Ireland with had a thing for single malts. He seemed to like Glenlivet and Glenfiddich best. I have NO clue why. They were both awful IMO. But what do I know? I don't even know the difference between scotch and whiskey! I had to look it up to see what it was. LOL You and Graham can share the bottle if you like. I'm sure never going to drink it!

Hugs,
Bobbie

Mornin' Ben!

I am delighted that you liked this...Your ideas are never silly...so please keep sending them this direction! I've never heard the fulfilling phrase but I will sure put that in the "possibles" file for the rewrite on this! I may just drop the AND off that Daddy line..but it does meter for me to the melody I am using. The right and wrong line seems a bit of Yodaspeak as written but I will sure look at that again.

I may run this past a couple of Irish singers and see if it flows like the stout. Thanks for taking time to check it out and come up with some good alternatives for it! Much appreciated.

Hugs,
Bobbie

Howdy Graham,

To be quite honest, I don't think I know the difference between a waltz and a reel. I do know the waltz is in 3/4 time...but that is about all. I "think" that is what I am hearing for this...but I'd have to play it on the keyboard to be sure I guess. I don't know what constitutes a "reel" though. Thanks for bringing that up since I can probably figure it out now.

Those "ing" endings will be pronouned as allurin...etc. They seem to flow ok for me. What is bothering you about them? Can you help me here?

Hugs,
Bobbie

Howdy Rebecca,

What a sweet thing to say about my writing! I do think it helps a songwriter to do as you say...imagine yourself in the place and write about what you experience while there. In this case, I think it did help that I had actually been to Ireland. What a LOVELY place...so green and the people so endearing Well all except for the evening we spent in a pub watching World Cup Soccer..when Ireland beat Italy! OH MY!!! Those Irish CAN get rowdy!!

I don't do my own music (my voice is NOT my best instrument and I don't play piano or guitar well enough)...so I will have to see if someone who can actually compose Celtic music might be interested in doing this. I do try to be realistic about my capabilities..and I think I am best sticking to words!! Will post it of course, if that happens.

Thanks once again for taking time to drop by and check this out..and share your thoughts on it.

Hugs,
Bobbie

Hi Bobbie,

This lassie is classie! Truly a talent when a Nashville lady can write a song like she's a native Irishwoman. Wow. I'm impressed.
LyricalLynn

Oh, I love this one. It's too cool. I hear some killer fiddle, Ms. Bobbie.

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"Experience teaches us that silence terrifies people the most."~~Bob Dylan

www.giddygirlmusicpublishing.com