JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum There's No I in Team

Wrote this pretty fast, its not done yet, few aggravating things in udio.

But I'd say this is a theoretical hit

Have a Bridge for this ill add later

https://www.udio.com/songs/cv6XUiKMs2w9ojtGxRdQ76

it's happening again, im lyin awake
Thinkin bout you has been a costly mistake
Cause I cant fall asleep

when all of the while
you're wishin me dead
I kicked you out
of my big stupid head
now, I know talk is cheap...but

I don't wanna dream anything else
Thought i needed more
Been lyin to myself
I saw it written in a meme ,
there's no I in team
there's no I in team

The twelve hour grind
a beer for the stress
a clip of the news
then sleep for sucess
Then push through the day

Im sorry If I
created this mess
selfish and cold
I know it aint like that out west

I don't wanna dream anything else
Thought i needed more
Been lyin to myself
I saw it written in a meme ,
there's no I in team
there's no I in team

You do have an ego on every song a hit , sounds good man for a robot. Use a little WD 40 for the vocals. Call the robot a whore , See if he kicks your ass. They're deathly afraid of water , rust and all. They get a hard on with 220 volts. They jerk off to a washer and dryer . ooooo baby. Well all I got .

No ego, its fishing, and the wrong person always takes the bait...YOU lol

This is shaping up really good, doing some tweaking

The robot is tweaking ? give it some Jack Daniels
Why has Tim McGraw lost so much weight? Well his married .

Is Tim McGraw sober now? man you people are nosey. If I looked like him I'd be a star to , I think im gay

LOL theoretical hits are the best Dom

Does work ...like the "clipped lines" that make for a lyric that scan well....but IMO overall it needs something more

Can't help you myself, but get some "producer type" buddies to listen ..

Something more like the second chorus, a bridge and an ending?

Its not done lol

. Do some drugs maybe it might come to you on production ideas , Or ask the robot

Well I haven't spoken to Bob Rock or Phil Ramone in a whilr

...then finish it off

But it needs something that makes it stand out....

Good luck and yes, cannabis is legal in New Jersey...then just feel your way through LOL

Stand our? Title, there's no I in team? That's not "i love you" like you see here.

And I think the melody is over the top.

It can always be better, not sure i get any better thsn that

Im a mid level talent

ha ha ha , I'm thinking more like heroin like James Taylor. How did that guy makes sense with a needle in his arm. Or Ray Charles with 25 kids , I guess he liked sex , well duh. Miles Davis was bit grumpy

Ive seen the needle and the damage done.

This pere song is probably the greatest songg about heroin addiction i know of.

And totally unrelatable right,? Ive never done drugs, i still relate to this song. Moves me every time

oh I've done every drug , kind how it was in the early 70ties . Peace love and all that . Oh well all the past now . don't matter. Free sex was fun with hippy girls . Oh the bygone days. Are you coming to San Fransico . You bet . Make love not war , works for me