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Nothing
by JAPOV - 04/27/26 10:49 AM
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WHEN?
by JAPOV - 04/23/26 11:28 PM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,426 Likes: 82
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,426 Likes: 82 |
IMO....this last lyric version is much better.
This version puts the listener somewhere.
Paints a picture of it.
Then tells the listener why they are there, filling it out with metaphors.
My suggestion...
I would take it "conditional"
This is the way that life could/should work.
Something to strive for in an imperfect world. Hope. And good reason to start a new thread.
Last edited by Bill Draper; 01/02/26 05:04 PM.
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 6,982 Likes: 86
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Top 40 Poster
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And good reason to start a new thread. otoh, its interesting to see the evolution of things all in one place. And, ultimately this thread will get more clicks.
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,357 Likes: 25
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OP
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Now this has been a great conversation! I re-reading all the comments and now I'm questioning yet again if it's the best we can do. maybe the story goes by too fast?
Gives me more to think about.
Thanks for all your input you guys................. it really does help!
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,357 Likes: 25
Top 200 Poster
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OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,357 Likes: 25 |
IMO
Two songwriters is too narrow a circumstance for the theme. (altruism)
Songwriters in a song-circle would relate but that would be a very narrow and esoteric audience.
Songwriter-centric.
Even with a ROM-COM ending like a big hit coming out of helping someone across a river.
The ROM-COM ending seems a bit gratuitous to me.
One person's opinion. Ya know, you may be right. It's just the story we came up with. Maybe a different story would work better? Any ideas?
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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