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I've had this verse 1 forever......................any thoughts on what the chorus should say?

https://suno.com/s/B08UbBFsAvoWMaDX


"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Nope... Nuthin'...


DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME HERE... CANCEL CULTURE IS ALIVE AND WELL @JPF!
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT'S ALREADY BEEN DELETED...
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And I know, i know
He’s (she’s) out there too
Dreaming the same dream
That I do
My very only dream come true.

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Same time, same dream, I’ll meet you halfway asleep
Where the walls fall down and the truth runs free
If I’m losing my mind, don’t wake me up yet
I’m closer to you with my eyes shut tight
Same time, same dream tonight


We’re all built from the same dust and dreams,
Different roads, but the same means.
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Originally Posted by Kay-lynn Carew
I've had this verse 1 forever......................any thoughts on what the chorus should say?

https://suno.com/s/B08UbBFsAvoWMaDX

How about...

[Chorus]
You fill my memory
I feel you in my heart
It's not just fan-tasy
'cause I ache for every part of what is
you and me
So let's go back there now
and make this dream reality somehow


As always, KOS.

Good luck with this one!

Peace,

Dave


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This is just to have a starting point. The new verses might need some tweaking.

Same Time Same Dream
https://suno.com/s/COXR6fFUjZXqIHw9

Verse
It's warm, it's late
I really shouldn't be awake, but I am
And I know
I'm just waiting for the chance to sleep
and dream
Where I left off
Meet me here, same time, same dream

Verse
It’s quiet, it’s dark
I try to calm my beating heart
But I can’t
And I feel
Like I’m holding on to hope
So deep
It keeps
Pulling me back
Meet me here, same time, same dream

Chorus
In my mind you reach for my hand
Like you’ve always known who I am
Every night I fall just a little too deep
Meet me here, same time, same dream

Verse
I see your face
Though I don’t know you at all
But I do
And it feels
Like you’ve been waiting for me
So long
So close
Just out of reach
Meet me here, same time, same dream

Verse
One day I’ll wake
And you won’t fade with the light
You’ll stay
And I’ll know
Every step led me to you
Somehow
Right now
I believe
Meet me here, same time, same dream

Chorus
In my mind you reach for my hand
Like you’ve always known who I am
Every night I fall just a little too deep
Meet me here, same time, same dream

Bridge
Maybe someday I’ll recognize your eyes
In a crowded room, in the waking light
And I’ll smile like I’ve been here before
Like I’ve loved you in a place beyond the door

Chorus
In my mind you reach for my hand
Like you’ve always known who I am
Every night I fall just a little too deep
Meet me here, same time, same dream

Outro
So I stay awake
Just long enough to drift back in
Where hope feels close
And lonely finally ends
Meet me here, same time, same dream

Last edited by Rob B.; 12/19/25 01:40 PM.
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Wow... I'm gonna have to go back through and read that slower Rob!!! But very impressive.


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what does KOS mean??? (smile)


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Rob...... Really love this<<<< !!!!
Verse
One day I’ll wake
And you won’t fade with the light
You’ll stay
And I’ll know
Every step led me to you
Somehow
Right now
I believe
Meet me here, same time, same dream

Chorus
In my mind you reach for my hand
Like you’ve always known who I am
Every night I fall just a little too deep
Meet me here, same time, same dream


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Originally Posted by Kay-lynn Carew
what does KOS mean??? (smile)

Keep Or Sweep. :-)


Peace,

Dave


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Wow! Nice to see Song-Writers talking about Song-Writing!
I see Rob's take uses what I call a Refrain Type Chorus, actually that single Line from Verse I, "Meet Me Here, Same Time, Same Dream".
It could simplify and shorten the Song, more desirable for radio play, and consumer attention span, in my estimation.

Same Time, Same Dream

(Verse I)
It's warm! It's late!
I really shouldn't be awake, but I am.
And I know,
I'm just waiting for the chance,
the chance to sleep and dream
where I left off! (Pitch rises, indicating main idea coming)
(Chorus Refrain)
Meet me here, Same Time, Same Dream!

(Verse II)
It’s quiet! It’s dark!
I try to calm my beating heart, but I can’t.
And I feel,
like I’m holding on to hope,
So deep it keeps
Pulling me back
(Chorus Refrain)
Meet me here, Same Time, Same Dream!

(After two 'givings' of the Melody in Verse I and Verse II, a Bridge is sometimes, not always, employed to break the risk of ''monotony', mono = one, tony = tone, losing listener interest.
A Bridge, ideally, has its own Melody, different from the Verse, its own Rhyme-Scheme, maybe sh orter sentences/Lines, having more 'effect' in sustaining listener attention.
Lyric content of a Bridge is preferably pivotal information in the Storyline of the Lyric.
Ideally, a Bridge is brief, only long 'Enough' to serve that function, to Supply that Demand for a break in Repetition.
A Song must have 'Enough' Repetition to Supply Structure Demanded to enable listeners to relate to it, and must have 'Enough' Change to keep them listening.
A Bridge functions to renew listener interest with Change.
A good Verse III may eliminate the Demand for a Bridge. It is the Song-Writer's Judgment Call to ascertain how much is 'Enough' or 'Not Enough' or 'Too Much'.
How much Introductory Movement is 'Enough'? One Measure or Bar, three, four?
How much Lyrical 'Exposition', Story-Telling, scene-setting has been done, and is it 'Enough', the 'timing' right, to go on to a Chorus, or a Bridge?
Is it 'Too Much', losing listeners before you get to the Chorus, Stanza-Type or Refrain-Type?
It has to do with the Human Attention Span, and whether what you present keeps it engaged.
It's not a written 'Rule', inflexible. It is very flexible, hence the Song-Writer's Judgment Call.
Listeners will make their own Judgment Call, paying attention, or drifting off to their own thoughts, reaching into their pocket to hear the Song again, or keeping their money in their pocket without desire to hear it again.
The Song-Writer, who is The First Listener, has the opportunity to make Judgment Calls throughout the Composition, before other listeners make their own.)

Chorus (This Stanza could be a Bridge)
In my mind you reach for my hand
Like you’ve always known who I am
Every night I fall just a little too deep
Meet me here, same time, same dream

(Above Stanza as a Bridge)
You reach for my hand!
You know who I am!
Let's fall to sleep!
Meet me here, Same Time, Same Dream!
(Some say a Song should not use the Title Line, THE Hook, in a Bridge. I think it is a Judgment Call for the Song-Writer.)
(After a Bridge a final giving of the Chorus (if a Stanza-Type Chorus is used) or a Verse III can be given to complete the Composition.
At this point the time-factor is a Judgment Call. Can you keep listeners engaged much longer?)

(Verse III)
I see your face
Though I don’t know you at all
But I do
And it feels
Like you’ve been waiting for me
So long
So close
Just out of reach
Meet me here, same time, same dream

(Verse IV)
One day I’ll wake
And you won’t fade with the light
You’ll stay
And I’ll know
Every step led me to you
Somehow
Right now
I believe
Meet me here, same time, same dream

Chorus
In my mind you reach for my hand
Like you’ve always known who I am
Every night I fall just a little too deep
Meet me here, same time, same dream

(Below is the Stanza designated by the Song-Writer as a Bridge. I'd simplify it.)
(Bridge)
Maybe someday I’ll recognize your eyes (Maybe? Or definitely?)
In a crowded room, in the waking light
And I’ll smile like I’ve been here before
Like I’ve loved you in a place beyond the door

(Bridge)
Someday I’ll see your eyes,
across a crowded room,
in the waking light!
We’ll smile like we've been here before!
We’ve loved in a place beyond the door!

Chorus
In my mind you reach for my hand
Like you’ve always known who I am
Every night I fall just a little too deep
Meet me here, same time, same dream

(A final Musical Movement in a Composition is called a Coda, Italian for 'tail'. Pop music calls it an 'Outro'. Jazz calls it a 'tag'. 'Intro' is a common abbreviation for 'Introductory' Musical Movement.
There is no word for Outro, Outroductory Musical Movement. We could coin one, for the purpose.)
Outro
So I stay awake
Just long enough to drift back in
Where hope feels close
And lonely finally ends
Meet me here, same time, same dream (Words murmered, as if the Singer-Character is drifting off to sleep.)


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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KOS = Keep Or Sweep.
People offering suggestions want the writer to know they understand if their suggestion is not accepted.
It's part of brainstorming methodology to not reject any idea thrown on the table.
Judgments are made later and it is not offensive to have an idea rejected.
The purpose of suggestions is to stimulate thinking and possibilities.


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Gary,
just yesterday I listened to a couple of songs we wrote together. They put a smile on my face. I learned a lot from you.
I get what you're saying: consider leaning into the one-line refrain chorus, use verses to carry the story, and add only as much bridge or extra chorus material as needed to keep the listener engaged — no more, no less.
I'm leaning in that direction as well but it's Kay-lynn's song. She asked for a dedicated chorus and that's what I tried to give her. What Suno did with this is absolutely awesome. My wife just came in and asked, Who's singing this and who wrote it. The song is beautiful. We'll see what Kay-lynn wants to do with this. Thanks for your review and helpful suggestions. This is like in the good old days.

Last edited by Rob B.; 12/19/25 02:11 PM.
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"Same Time, Same Dream" Copyright December 19, 2025 by Kay-lynn Carew (And Rob B)

(Verse I)
It's warm! It's late!
I really shouldn't be awake, but I am. (Introduction of The Singer Character, "I".)
And I know,
I'm just waiting for the chance,
the chance to sleep and dream
where I left off! (Pitch rises, indicating main idea coming)
(Chorus Refrain)
Meet me here, Same Time, Same Dream! (Dialogue, conversation, spoken to The Love Interest Character.)

(Verse II)
It’s quiet! It’s dark!
I try to calm my beating heart, but I can’t.
And I feel,
like I’m holding on to hope,
So deep it keeps
Pulling me back
(Chorus Refrain)
Meet me here, Same Time, Same Dream!

(NOTE: A Bridge can be an Instrumental Bridge, instead of a Lyrical Bridge. I remember looking a The Beatles' sheet music and seeing the Notation: "Instrumental Interlude". That's an Instrumental Bridge, serving the same purpose, breaking Repetition with Change to sustain listener interest.)
(Stanza as a Bridge Option #1)
You reach for my hand! (Love Interest Character, "You")
You know who I am!
Let's fall to sleep!
Meet me here, Same Time, Same Dream!

(Bridge Option #2. Only one version of a Bridge in one giving should be used, for time constraints and simplicity of listening.)
Someday I’ll see your eyes,
across a crowded room,
in the waking light!
We’ll smile like we've been here before!
We’ve loved in a place beyond the door!

(Verse III, Option #1. No Verse IV should be necessary. I'd pick one. Song will be 3 minutes, 3:30, long 'Enough'.)
I see your face
Though I don’t know you at all
But I do
And it feels
Like you’ve been waiting for me
So long
So close
Just out of reach
Meet me here, same time, same dream

(Verse III, Option #2)
One day I’ll wake
And you won’t fade with the light
You’ll stay
And I’ll know
Every step led me to you
Somehow
Right now
I believe
Meet me here, same time, same dream

Outro
I lie, awake!
I drift back in,
where hope feels close,
and loneliness ends!
Meet me here, Same Time, Same Dream (Words murmered, as if the Singer-Character is drifting off to sleep.)

Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 12/19/25 02:08 PM.

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I'm loving the collaboration with all concerned. Yup, this is the way it used to work.

I think what we have to decide what story we're trying to tell. Did someone die? Is it a past love? Could it be both? Maybe someone in the military? but it's certainly someone the writer knows.

Should this be a love song? Should it be a song about loss? I don't know why I'm always killing ppl in my songs hahah.

Or it could be a child that was lost, and the writer sees them growing up in their dreams ?.. (dang that would make my cry just writing it)

It's all about the "showing" not telling, so the listener can apply it to whatever's going on in their life. (kinda like THE DANCE)

I guess the meet me here same time, same dream is almost a pleading to the person to please show up in their dreams.

That's my 2 cents, but I'm loving this conversation. Maybe the bridge should be something like.........

"when the day comes and the sleeping ends
we'll see each other and then
I'll never have to dream again............


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Gary, this is all very helpful and very fun................... because others might have a different take or direction that I hadn't thought of. I appreciate all the input very much............ I've always wanted to finish this song!

Keep in mind, What I wrote, might be the chorus, might be verse 2....... nothing is written in stone. right?


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Originally Posted by Kay-lynn Carew
I guess the meet me here same time, same dream is almost a pleading to the person to please show up in their dreams.

That's what I was thinking about when I wrote those draft lines....

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I think it needs more furniture........ (as my mentor used to say).....

Whats going on in the dream, what are they doing?

That's gonna depend on who it is they're seeing in their dream I guess?


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You're exactly right!......... So maybe sometimes they don't show up? So the person desperately tries to go back to sleep and try again.


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Kay-lynn,
you're in the driver's seat here. You didn't give us much to start with. You'll have to define where you want to go with it. There are a couple of folks (just plain folks) here willing to help. There's a good chance you'll get the song done.

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Someone said, "Song-Writing is re-writing."
We get 'inspiration' and run with it.
Once the basic concept is 'written', in our heads, if not down on paper, we can 'craft' it, adding or subtracting what 'inspiration' got.
I do 'editing' as I write, getting that first Line that Hooks my interest, maybe going on to more Lines before I think of something I judge to be better for that first 'inspired' Line. Throughout the process I may try variations on the Line, different words, getting the Rhythm of the Prosody to fit the guitar work and Melodic delivery 'right'.
Nothing is written in stone. However... once I do put it down on paper it becomes harder to rewrite. And once I play it for anyone else I feel locked in. I have to break out. Fortunately, years of experience have taught me how free I am to do whatever I want with a Song.
I didn't get any sense of death. I thought it was a person who appeared in a dream, and the dreamer fell in love, to a rational not-crazy-at-all degree, and simply hopes to see the person again in the dream, and hopes she appears in reality.
Rob's Lines about 'recognizing her eyes, in the waking light'.
Indulging in fantasy is quite entertaining. Pondering death and longing for the lost loved one, a whole different direction.
I think most people can 'relate' to either concept, but which one do you want them to relate to?
I go with the fantasy, the 'dream' and 'hope' of encountering the dream personality, in the Same Time, Same Dream, and the fantasy that he could actually meet her in life. That love at first sight concept is real, for some people, and fantasy of possibility, and dreaming, are natural to the Human mind.
All kinds of positive vibration to go with.


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oh man... now I have to use my brain???

Fact is, I wrote this when my co-writer went back to England.. (kinda had a crush on him).....(same topic on That's Where you Were)... argg

so this is one of those cases where you start with an emotion........but is it all gonna be emotion or do we have to tell a story? Sometimes I don't wanna tell the listener a story, I just want them to "think" there is a story.

I'm trying to avoid..........."I was almost home" country song, which I love btw, but I wrote this long before that was on the radio.


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Well there ya go.......! Quite possible this is not even a real person...........?? But so many people mention in real life that they saw their lost person in a dream after they were gone... kinda universal........... however, if it's not gonna be a real person I would think we need to resolve it in the end in some way..... Did they actually end up meeting someone and now they don't have to dream anymore?


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And yes.. IT'S ALL RE-WRITING.................... correct.. (well except for the Barbie song which wrote itself in 10 min) still freaks me out to this day.


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It’s quiet! It’s dark!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<Already said dark in Verse one, should it be used again so soon?
I try to calm my beating heart, but I can’t.
And I feel,
like I’m holding on to hope,
So deep it keeps
Pulling me back<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<love this!
(Chorus Refrain)
Meet me here, Same Time, Same Dream!


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You used "dark" in verse 1? Am I missing something?

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I never know if you'll show up and when
sometimes it makes me wonder
am I awake now
or was I awake then?


Possible bridge?............... Meaning when you wake up from a dream, it seems so real, sometimes you think real life.. is the actual dream (or nightmare)


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Rob is right................ my bad.... .. sorry


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Yes, this works....

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I want and I wish and it ache's and it hurts
but I love every moment we share
might be real in my heart and my mind starts to shout
None of this seems fair
....when I open my eyes , you're not there


bridge?


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Just a thought. Dreams keep us alive . if we stop dreaming we die. There is the duende!

Last edited by Bill Draper; 12/19/25 03:09 PM. Reason: Spelling
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Rob You are so very good at using Suno to flush out a good song.............. it's extremely helpful!!!


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Bill. that's an awesome thought!!!!!

Dreams DO keep us alive......... and dreams keep our loved ones alive too......

I like that alot


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Rob, Tara Lynn Sharock's still got her chops doesn't she?
I listened to her treatment on your Vietnam translation Song. And I could hear it! Volume. This cheapie Dell laptop plays things so low I can't hear it. But I heard yours.
I like your Rob B. Project. The way it can all work now is ready made.
Some of the pros used the internet during the Coronavirus Pandemic of the Early 21st Century, zapping contributions back and forth since they couldn't get into the same room and do it. And it worked to their satisfaction.
The AI 'tools' leave less specific control to the Song-Writer, but people are expressing satisfaction with it.
Keep exploring. The possibilities are endless.


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I'm gonna have to redo the copyright 2025 line so it adds all the co-writers. Love that!


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I'm looking for 'furniture'.
Abstract concepts may elude the 'interest' buttons in listeners. 'Furniture' gives concrete imagery they hear and can not 'not' imagine.
Engaging their imagination is the essence of 'Hook Factor'.

[Verse 1]
It's warm, it's late ('Warm' is a concept they 'get'. 'Late' is too. The combination sets up for the introduction of the Singer-Character in Line 2, 'warm', 'late', 'awake', 'waiting'. 'Meet me here' gives it a concrete setting. But vague on 'furniture'. Plays put 'props', 'properties' on the 'stage' to set the scene.)
I really shouldn't be awake, but I am
And I know
I'm just waiting for the chance to sleep (waiting 'in my bed', literal furniture)
and dream
Where I left off
Meet me here, same time, same dream, strings

Let me bring Rob B's here and see if there is furniture or could be.

(Verse II)
It’s quiet! It’s dark!
I try to calm my beating heart, but I can’t. ('heart' furniture? I think I get a sense of a human body there.)
And I feel, ('feel' resonates with people, according to some Focus Group.)
like I’m holding on to hope,
So deep it keeps
Pulling me back
(Chorus Refrain)
Meet me here, Same Time, Same Dream! (No furniture?)

Chorus
In my mind you reach for my hand ('hand' as furniture, concrete idea, if you read it, hear it, you imagine it. The rest, abstract ideas.)
Like you’ve always known who I am
Every night I fall just a little too deep
Meet me here, same time, same dream

(Verse III)
I see your face ('face', furniture, read/hear, imagine.)
Though I don’t know you at all
But I do
And it feels
Like you’ve been waiting for me (Conversation, Singer-Character/Love-Interest Character)
So long
So close
Just out of reach
Meet me here, same time, same dream

(Verse IV)
One day I’ll wake
And you won’t fade with the light
You’ll stay
And I’ll know
Every step led me to you
Somehow
Right now
I believe
Meet me here, same time, same dream

Chorus
In my mind you reach for my hand
Like you’ve always known who I am
Every night I fall just a little too deep
Meet me here, same time, same dream

(Bridge)
Maybe someday I’ll recognize your eyes ('eyes' furniture.
In a crowded room, in the waking light ('crowded room conjures concrete imagery.)
And I’ll smile like I’ve been here before ('smile' evokes a visual conceptualization, furniture)
Like I’ve loved you in a place beyond the door (The 'door' is both concrete and metaphorical, but... furniture.)

Outro (Having gotten the listener this far I think the 'awake' concept evokes a visualization of a person lying in bed.)
So I stay awake
Just long enough to drift back in
Where hope feels close
And lonely finally ends
Meet me here, same time, same dream

(No. Not much 'furniture'.
Only a major rewrite could put some in. If you're interested in exploring that I suggest imagining the real Dreamer in their real bed, the room, the literal furniture, windows, moonlight, alarm clock, pillow, sleep elusive, whatever develops that imagery-furniture your mentor suggested makes a good Lyric.
I'm wondering what 'furniture' we might find in some other Lyrics, here or in our music collections, or memories thereof. Some stuff hit us right and we 'saw' the furniture and 'suspended disbelief' that this was fantasy, and perceived it as a reality the Singer, or Singer-Character was living.)
"Ten years ago, on a cold, dark night,
a man was killed, 'neath the town hall light.
There were few at the scene.
They all did agree,
the man who ran, looked a lot like me!"

She walks these hills, in a Long, Black Veil!
She mourns my bones, when the night winds wa-ai-il!
Nobody knows! No! Nobody sees!
Nobody knows but me..."

Now there's some furniture.

Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 12/19/25 03:41 PM.

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sometimes Dreams are all that keeps us alive so they say

I can say I believe it, I just want to re-dream it

even if just for a day


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I didn’t like my outro so I thought I should try to end it with a verse/chorus.

Final verse/chorus:
So I stay awake
Just a little longer than I should
But I do
‘Cause I know
If I let myself drift back in
I’ll find
That place
Where lonely ends
Meet me here, same time, same dream

The song starts with:
- awake / restlessness
- being awake too late
- waiting / longing

The final verse could end with:
- choosing to drift back in
- accepting the dream
- reframes sleep as hope, not escape

That’s a complete emotional circle, which listeners feel even if they can’t explain it. It mirrors the opening.

Your first verse: I really shouldn’t be awake, but I am
Your final verse: So I stay awake / Just a little longer than I should

That symmetry gives listeners a subconscious feeling of … ahh – this feels complete.

It answers the title line. Throughout the song “Meet me here, same time, same dream” is a wish. In the final verse, it becomes a decision, almost a promise. Ending with that line after choosing to drift back in gives the title final authority.

It feels like falling asleep with the short lines, soft language and no new imagery introduced. That creates natural deceleration and a sense of closure without a hard stop. Perfect for a fade, a held note, or a whispered final refrain line. It avoids overexplaining. Many love songs fail by adding a big revelation too late or spelling out what the dream means. This ending does the opposite. It lets the listener finish the thought which is exactly what dream-themed songs should do.

Last edited by Rob B.; 12/19/25 03:28 PM.
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I was thinking the furniture would be in the next verse maybe?

Maybe I was wrong, since furniture is usually for story songs. I'm trying to think of examples. (sorta like Garth Brooks, the rodeo) dang that had lots of furniture, even in teh chorus!

I"m thinking this song would be great for Lee Ann Womack, not sure what makes me think of her.

Maybe we need something in the chorus that describes the actual dream?

The breeze is blowing through the curtains
we're laughing on the floor so hard we cry
it knocked the candle over almost lit us both on fire

ok,... that verse sucks.. sorry


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Final verse/chorus:
So I stay awake
Just a little longer than I should
But I do
‘Cause I know
If I let myself drift back in
I’ll find
That place
Where lonely ends
Meet me here, same time, same dream<<<<<<<<<<<<< shouldn't there be something that rymes with this?

The song starts with:
- awake / restlessness
- being awake too late
- waiting / longing

The final verse could end with:
- choosing to drift back in
- accepting the dream
- reframes sleep as hope, not escape<<<<<<<<<<<<good point


And why would she want to stay awake longer than she should... she WANTS to go to sleep.

maybe we're missing the "meet me here". part...........it's a gentle melody, but she's a little frustrated that he doesn't show up every day so she's asking for an appointment.......


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The sun comes up and hurts my eyes
I'm trying to keep you in my life
even if it's only for tonight
I know you'll leave me here for now but please
meet me here same time, same dream


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(sigh).................. I guess this is not a "chorus" song after all............... but it's gonna be great!!


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Originally Posted by Kay-lynn Carew
And why would she want to stay awake longer than she should... she WANTS to go to sleep.

“Stay awake longer than she should” feels confusing, yes.

As I first wrote it, the line: “Just a little longer than I should” suggests:
- insomnia
- restlessness
- uncertainty
- or even avoidance of sleep

And that contradicts the story, as you pointed out.

Your character:
- wants the dream
- trusts it
- believes it’s preparing her for something real

So the listener might reasonably ask: Why delay sleep if sleep is the goal? That’s the disconnect you sensed.

She stays awake because she trusts the dream. She feels it’s preparing her for a real meeting.

That means:
- She’s not avoiding sleep
- She’s choosing the moment
- She’s mentally readying herself
- She treats the dream as something sacred or intentional

In other words: She lingers at the edge of sleep because crossing into the dream matters.

But I agree, it might make sense to make it a bit clearer:

Verse (final)
So I stay awake
Just long enough to let it in
‘Cause I trust
What I know
Every time I cross that line
It’s me
And you
Getting close
Meet me here, same time, same dream

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Brainstorming never sucks! LOL
We throw it out there and make our judgment call later.

The breeze is blowing through the curtains
we're laughing on the floor so hard we cry
it knocked the candle over almost lit us both on fire

The 'furniture' of the breeze, the curtains, the two people, laughing, on the floor, the candle, all concrete imagery.
I couldn't read it without imagining the scene. That's 'furniture'. If I only heard it sung, instead of reading it, it would probably have the same 'insistent' effect in my imagination.

"Rodeo" Verse I describes the man, and the woman, and the 'Conflict'. Conflict is a great literary device. It makes the story interesting.
Verse II, more concrete 'things' to imagine, that hearing them name demands the Human mind 'imagine' them. The gold in the buckle.
"Her back's against the wall." I imagined it literally, her moving back against the wall, unable to compete for his attention when he's focused on the rodeo.
Note the Structure. It seems to use a Chorus Refrain ending each Verse, hitting THE Hook, the Title Line, "Rodeo".
I can't hear it on Youtube. Is there a Bridge?
And note the number of 'hits' on THE Hook, driving home that concept as THE main idea.


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Some good analyses going on here.
Y'all are thinkin', studying possibilities.
That's what Songs are all about, possible 'stories'.
A hundred thousand years of Song-Writing have not exhausted the possibilities.

Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 12/19/25 04:23 PM.

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Kay-lynn,
we've been sending stuff back and fourth. Where are we currently regarding the lyrics and the structure. Have you decided whether you want a dedicated chorus or just verses that end with a hook line and a bridge for variation. More furniture or not? I find it hard to give you more input without knowing the structure of the lyrics. Sorry, I have to admit that I'm a bit lost at the moment. Can you post a version of the lyrics we should use to continue reshaping this one?

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How's this so far?


It’s warms, it’s late
I really shouldn’t be awake
But I am, and I know
I’m just waiting for the chance
To sleep and dream
Where I left off
Meet me here same time, same dream


It’s quiet! It’s dark!
I’m trying to calm my beating heart, but I can’t.
And I feel
like I’m just holding on to hope,
to breathe it seems
that’s all I know
Meet me here, Same Time, Same Dream!

Bridge
The sun comes up and hurts my eyes
I'm trying to keep you in my life
even if it's only for tonight
I know you'll leave me here for now but please
meet me here same time, same dream

You’re right, I can wait
Sometimes you have to go away
So I know, it’s not real
But that won’t save me from this day
So please, make me believe
and meet me here same time, same dream

It's warm, it's late
I really shouldn't be awake.........................



copyright 2025 Kay-lynn Carew, Rob B., Gary Andrews


I"m sure this could be longer, just trying to edit, edit, edit.

Last edited by Kay-lynn Carew; 12/19/25 04:26 PM.

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Originally Posted by Gary E. Andrews
Rob, Tara Lynn Sharrock's still got her chops doesn't she?
I listened to her treatment on your Vietnam translation Song. And I could hear it! Volume. This cheapie Dell laptop plays things so low I can't hear it. But I heard yours.
I like your Rob B. Project. The way it can all work now is ready made.
Some of the pros used the internet during the Coronavirus Pandemic of the Early 21st Century, zapping contributions back and forth since they couldn't get into the same room and do it. And it worked to their satisfaction.
The AI 'tools' leave less specific control to the Song-Writer, but people are expressing satisfaction with it.
Keep exploring. The possibilities are endless.

Gary, thanks so much for listening and for the kind words. Yes, Tara-Lynn absolutely still has her chops! She really brought that song to life, and I’m glad it cut through even on a stubborn laptop speaker.

I’ve always enjoyed collaborating with talented people from different parts of the world, even though remote collaboration can actually be more challenging than being together in a studio. This project/thread really shows that writing at a distance (like you and I did in the past) isn’t always easy, but it can be very rewarding.

Tara-Lynn is a joy to work with because she instinctively knows what a song needs. She can handle everything - lead vocals, backing parts, and harmonies - with ease. I’ve always enjoyed working with her and hope we can do more projects together in the future.

AI tools may loosen some of the traditional hands-on control, but I agree: if the end result connects, that’s what matters. I’m enjoying exploring what’s possible, and comments like yours definitely encourage me to keep going.

Thanks again—much appreciated.

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Originally Posted by Kay-lynn Carew
How's this so far?

It’s warms, it’s late
I really shouldn’t be awake
But I am, and I know
I’m just waiting for the chance
To sleep and dream
Where I left off
Meet me here same time, same dream

I'm calling it quits for today. It's getting late here. I'll let this settle over night.
Funny ... when I read "I know you'll leave me here for now but please meet me here same time, same dream" it reminded me of my song "The Girl From Yesterday".

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