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Hi all, I'm french and I'm not used to write lyrics in english. Julia, the singer, is french too. We just would like to have your opinion about this song.
For those who are interested, here's another version of this song. Thierry, another french friend, is singing. His voice is more broken than Julia's sweet voice. And he does'nt sing in the same tonality.
Liked Julia's vocal. Liked the melody. I didn't care for the backing track, (Maybe the instruments used) I thought it should be more romantic. I was thinking a Sergio Mendes vibe:
I also thought there should be a strong chorus or at least a "B" part starting with: I don't want to hold you back
I don't know 9ne... I think the backing track is perfect for this. It gives the feel of an intimate lounge. I can actually visualize Julia sitting on a stool, on a small stage, while singing this.
It's all in the ears John! LOL I think that slide guitar/ dobro thing is throwing me off. I could hear a mood like a Piaf song, "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien" or even something from The Hot Club of France. (not that I'm overly familiar with their work, but I enjoyed what I have heard) It's interesting what we hear. Always enjoy your point of view John-much respect! -Mike
I very much enjoyed your song, especially your beautiful vocal tone--sweet! You have a vocal style that fits well with simple arrangements. I like the Spanish/Italian sounding guitar but think you should showcase the cello in spots a little more to enhance/evoke more music emotion to compliment your passionate vocals. I would opt (JMO) for minimal conga/bongo/wood box sounding percussion and NOT use the drum set that I barely heard in spots. This could easily give it on a more Latin feel -- not saying it should, but the foundation would work well. Google: "Basha" a 90's Latin/jazz artist, maybe also "Norah Jones" for some reference ideas.
Just sharing some thoughts--you have a great song and I think some minor arrangement tweaks with production and instrumentation could raise the song to a higher level quickly. Strong point -- vocals for sure!
I think that the song is very pretty. Lovely to listen to.
My suggestions... more reverb on the voice to thicken the room. Go thru the vocal track adjusting the gain in order to even it out, then compress a little and then raise it until it matches up with the instruments. a little more reverb on the instruments to soften them and sync them with the depth of the vocals in the room. The notes stab out from the mix here and there...to my ear.
All personal opinions. Lovely song. Your music is enjoyable.
Very nice. I agree with all the comments above about the intimate vibe and the simple arrangement. I really enjoyed listening to this. Julia has a lovely voice well suited to the song.
I have tried writing lyrics in a foreign language and I know it isn't easy. I think you've done a great job (with JAPOV's minor corrections). I had a couple of ideas to make it a little more conversational and natural which you can see below. I don't know if you will find them helpful. It's very good as it is.
I changed the first line to "Well, of course" because it seemed less formal than "Certainly" and implies a conversation, an answer to the question, "Would you miss me?" It puts the listener right in the middle of that conversation. It's like the movie technique of starting in the middle of a scene.
"Do as you feel" seems more natural than "Act as you feel."
I thought that the idea of people whose flame has died might carry a little more meaning than just people with no flame. It also allows you to actually carry the sentence into the next line, which adds to the feeling of a conversation. I'm not sure if this would work with the arrangement, so it's maybe not a great suggestion
Great job!
Well, of course I would miss you But you’re free To try something new I don’t want to hold you back Do as you feel
If you know Of greener grass elsewhere You can go Look back at me from there I don’t want to hold you back Leave if you need to
Love is not Such a simple game There’s a lot Of people whose flame Has died. I won't hold you back But stay if you wish to
Chris, this is a simply beautiful acoustic arrangement and Julia has such a soft sweet voice. I could be wrong but I thought I heard a little bit of mandolin in the background. Very nice touch!
Love the unplugged instruments and the intimate vocals and lyrics. That slide guitar is very effective and let's not forget the roaming bass underpinning everything. Good stuff
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