JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Passing Breeze

Just a little tune about the ups and downs. Let me know what you guys think!

Passing Breeze

Lyrics
It's in amongst the leaves
You say to me as we lay
Amidst a forest in my sleep
Beneath the tallest of the trees
On the cusp of the finest dream
That I ever did see
You look to me so to speak
To say its just a passing breeze
To be enjoyed while its here

As it is and always will be
Set in the stone or so to speak
A tide to rise and to fall with me
Through the seasons that emotions bring
A time to rise a time to sink
Beneath the waves you better breath
In the passing breeze
To be enjoyed while its here

Am I cursed or am I free?
With this great divide inside of me
Like a ship that's been set loose to sea
Will stay ashore or go to greet
The gate that awaits us all in sleep
Riding the winds of a passing breeze
To be enjoyed while its here

Hi Nick: (Forgive me if I am taking liberties with your name)

I listened and had volume issues on both, the vocal and melody. At 100% on this "tinny" sounding laptop... all I could hear was about 25 to 30 percent volume. From what I read and could hear... it appears to have a great deal going for it. I hope you will find a way to crank it up and run it by us again. Thanks for sharing... and please don't be "put off" by my attempt to provide you with feedback.

Regards, ----Dave

Hi Nicholas,

Your work is consistently delicately beautiful. This has a bit of a Mark-Almond Band (not 'Soft Cell" Marc Almond) feel circa "One Way Sunday" from '71..

Though I love the whispered vocals, I still think they could be mixed a slight bit more above the music, and then you might look again at a few pitchy spots. But I can tell you are a fan of a classical music approach, letting a greater dynamic range impact your work.

I'm not wild about the kick drum, which seems to indicate the song might bust out into an orgiastic free-for-all (glad you didn't go there, LOL) --I think a nice staccato cello or string section played with sharp, staccato notes would serve your intention better, there..

The instrumental section is otherwise very beautiful, especially when you are lingering on the sharp 4 note Lydian mode around the 4:30 mark..

And your vocal ad lib--late--are you a fan of "The Blue Nile" and Paul Buchanan?

We probably listen to a lot of the same artists..

Good to hear you are working on some good stuff..

Mike

I enjoyed this one although as Dave pointed out the volume needs a boost. The lyrics are well written and wax poetry as one progresses reading through it. I appreciate your having shared the song as I feel just in hearing it I've grown artistically. Real nice work!

Hi, NIck,

So here are my notes before I read the comments above: "This is really well done—beautiful tune. Has an Iron and Wine feel—a mood that really resonates. Enjoyed the heck out of it. Thanks for sharing."

Having thereafter read the above, I get the comments regarding the mix--and wouldn't argue there's some validity to it--but it's a really, really fine line. Up the vocal volume, and I think you risk losing the mood and subdued style of this tune. So play around with it, but not too much. It's really smooth as is, and the sound/style accentuates the lyric. I liked it a lot!

Regards,

Deej

Hi Nick,


You have a very gentle / pleasant sound, but I'm looking forward to hearing it with more volume.
Thanks for sharing it.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Lovely Nicholas, but someday you're going to have to record outside of your closet.

Loved the musical interlude but that drum was a little intrusive, abrupt.

Glad to hear you're still making music. Your style is kind of ephemeral, like the passing breeze in your lyrics.

Ricki

Thank you all for the great input! Will definitely work on raising the mix for the next one! Also I agree about the drums being intrusive!

Cheers !

Xx

Love how you caught on to the iron and wine inspiration! Great ears!

Lots more to come! haven't heard of the artists you mentioned but will definitely check them out! Always appreciate your comments!