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Bayside
by Gary E. Andrews - 10/19/26 10:48 PM
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
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Posts: 3,411 |
VS
Into every life a little rain must fall
When you came along I nearly drowned in the squall
I knew that love would find me
And you were right behind me
How I wish I'd never opened that door at all
vs
I only entered the bar to have a quiet drink
Contemplate my life, get some time to think
You sat right down beside me
Completely mesmerised me
From that day on my life went down the sink
Chorus:
You wouldn't take no for an answer
Offered it up on a plate
I couldn't keep it in my pants then
You said you were two weeks LATE
vs
I prayed to the heavens above that you'd made a mistake
When you were positive I accepted my fate
You moved into my house
Settled yourself right down
Threw my dreams in the garbage dropped them in the lake
vs
After the kids left home I said I've had enough
I'm moving out of here taking all of my stuff
You started acting coyly
Which always really annoyed me
Then you slowly stripped off stood there in the buff
Chorus:
You wouldn't take no for an answer
Offered it up on a plate
I couldn't keep it in my pants and
Once again it's too LATE
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
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Waal, Bro UK..It's Totally UN-PC, so of course, I rather enjoyed it..tho, Alas, the Singer doesn't look good.
Sure does look Human-Enough, tho! What can I say, it's FUN! (Don't think The Chicks'll Dig It...too-much...Alas, again.)
Good Luck with it anyways...it was a Hoot!
Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Top 10 Poster
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Waal, Bro UK..It's Totally UN-PC, so of course, I rather enjoyed it..tho, Alas, the Singer doesn't look good.
Sure does look Human-Enough, tho! What can I say, it's FUN! (Don't think The Chicks'll Dig It...too-much...Alas, again.)
Good Luck with it anyways...it was a Hoot!
Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 379
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This one had a real Amanda Palmer vibe to it (think her song "Oasis"). Definitely an interesting read! Like Stan said, good luck with it. :-)
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
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What a twist, Joe! Good, weird story! The only thing I would suggest is trying to soften it in there somewhere to make us believe, even subtly, that he truly did enjoy and love his children and wife! -- Lisa
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
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Hey Joe,
Negative lyrics have an audience, but positive lyrics have a much larger one. If you must write a negative lyric, make sure there's a positive "light at the end of the tunnel"/hope for the situation to improve. Good luck with it.
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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Hey Cecilee
I don't know who Amanda Palmer is but I'll look her up on you tube. Thanks for checking this out.
Peace
Joe
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Hey Cecilee
I don't know who Amanda Palmer is but I'll look her up on you tube. Thanks for checking this out.
Peace
Joe
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Hey Lisa
Thanks for the reply. I was aiming for gritty realism with a bit of black humour and I think on the whole it's come off. I know a lot of guys who are happily married and who have never told their wives they loved them. It's just the way a lot of guys are.
Glad you liked it anyway.
Peace
Joe
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Hey Shayne
I agree that the more positive lyrics are better received but this is actually pretty catchy and up tempo. Thanks for the good wishes.
Cheers
Joe
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
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Some good lines there Joe lol.An upper or downer? Well the music makes all the difference I think.Some of the most miserable lyrics have very catchy melody's
Travis
Last edited by Travis david; 07/04/13 01:30 PM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 852
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Lots of good stuff has already been posted here i def will second the thoughts of Lisa and Travis. Shane had a good point but if you're taking care of that with the melody it might not slim the audience too bad. Keep on trucking with this one Joe.
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Joined: Apr 2010
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Hey Travis
Thanks for the reply mate. This is certainly a catchy number with(as you say) rather sad lyrics. But I see it more as realism.
Cheers
Joe
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