Not bad, but not great, either. I think maybe of you added some, expanded on your ideas, it might be pretty good. One question, though. In the first chorus you end with a spoken 'revive me'. Are we to assume that each ending chorus has this or did you drop it. If the latter I would suggest putting it back onto the later choruses. I just think it might work better. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think the song's bad. I like the theme and feel you give it, but it comes out a bit average. With some work I think you might be able to make this a really good song.

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