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Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
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8Graves
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/20/26 06:05 PM
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Saosin
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/20/26 02:43 PM
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Spiritbox
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/18/26 09:51 PM
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TV Drama
by Bill Draper - 09/18/26 02:22 PM
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Syd
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/17/26 09:40 PM
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Lagoons
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/17/26 01:34 AM
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 326
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 326 |
Jim, this is a good song but wouldn't it work better if the song were directed to someone one you see was once like you and you're encouraging them to become braver in life, rather than claiming to have built a time machine and travelling back in time to visit your former self?
That seems a little silly to be honest and if he built a time machine he was obviously doing something very constructive with his life behind these walls, and if you tell him to stop doing that, he will never build the time machine and you will never be able to go back in time, and perhaps the time line would become so disrupted that you ended up becoming an alcholic bum on the streets of Amsterdamn and never became a singer-songwriter at all.
Aside from that, the song has a lot going for it, but I kind of agreed with what Mike Z said about the chorus, it's catchy, yes, but never quite comes out of first or second gear for me. In its structure it reminds me a little of the chorus of "About you now" by the Sugarbabes, and that chorus moves up and down the gears in a more fluidic fashion compared to this chours.
Anyway, like I said, it's a good song so good luck with it.
Lucian
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"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
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