Well I woke up this afternoon
Feelin kinda blue
Well I woke up this afternoon
That's what blues singers do
Woke up this afternoon
had to skip to the loo. (my darlin)

They call me the pied piper
cause I ate all the pies
They call me the pied piper
cause I ate all the pies
They say that I wear a kilt
But that's a pack of lies

I've got some pipes and I'll
play them just for you
I've got some pipes now here
is what I'll do
if you wanna hear me blow them
just stand outside the loo.

Those pies are tasty
they fill me up inside
those pies are tasty
They fill me up inside
When I go to the loo baby
Everybody better hide.