Hi J M,
Really like the hook and the context
In this verse----------
---------
I will love you forever, child
You are partly me inside and out
I will endeavor
Even in bad weather
To care and be
A listening ear
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----- 2 and 6 don't rhyme as they do in the other 2
This couplet--------
"A lasting treasure
Written on forever" --I'm not sure if you can "write" a treasure on forever. Maybe something instead of "written"
Nevertheless, I like it. should adapt well to music
Wy