Why Is A Lemon?
© Pending smile

To find why is a lemon
Rhetorically I ask
Will seedless cantaloupe
Slide through an hour glass

While chicken cacciatore
Was Chicken Little's bane
Van Gogh snacked on pig ears
More oily than his paint

Apple cores in Baltimore
Chicagoans at night
Little Orphan Annie
With Toto by her side

A cherry topped the sundae
With chopped nuts all around
Fig Newton pondered gravity
An apple hit the the ground

Destined to be banished
Napoleon ate baby llamas
Not part of French cuisine today
But neither is Osama

JFK liked Cracker Jack
And fresh Cuban cigars
While Theodore loved Baby Ruth
Produced somewhere on Mars

Pineapple rings were rolling
Around the castle moat
The tangerine took ten days off
Content to lounge and float

Of bread sliced into equal halves
To feed the hungry mass
Three fish converted to Islam
Unequal to the task

The kernels turned to popping corn
When Elvis' agent died
Fortune cookies spread the news
On papers wrapped inside

The coconutty salad
With yogurt in the cream
Came from a hidden valley
Where the giant wasn't green

The fly was in the parlor
While the spider weaved its web
The scarecrows ate the maize
While the zombies ate the dead

Robert had some Frosty Flakes
One snowy evening in the woods
When Poe walked in and spoke to him
On ravens killed by Robin Hood

Foreclosure on a peanut farm
Frightened Peter Pan
Wendy promised Tinkerbell
She'd repossess the land

Bananas grew for dinosaurs
Ten thousand to a bunch
Jack Kellogg threw his life away
Re-inventing lunch

Turnips, squash and sweet snow peas
In Lucy's vita-vegamin
You ask "Why is a lemon?"
Because it cannot swim

"Aha," you say, "but lemons float"
The same as tangerines
But bobbing with no rudder
Will lead to endless seas
And lemonade needs sugar
Not salt and tangled weeds
The answer once again, my friend
Because a lemon cannot swim


(If you made it this far, some men in white coats will be paying you a visit momentarily)