Calvin,

Was just checking back on this and after reading your remarks, I'd liked to say that I hope I didn't offend you with my feedback on this lyric. I know you didn't mean for this to be an offensive song, nor did I personally take offense at it. As I said, though, I could certainly see where someone might. Personally, I've written lyrics that I was sure would offend some people, but said what I wanted to anyway.

I was at a pro song critique a while back where someone had written what they thought was a great country song...meant to be full of compliments toward down home Southern living. In fact, it was a string of cliches and Beverly Hillybilly-ish stereotypes that came off as a joke (and somewhat deragatory), despite her intentions, and the industry guys blasted it pretty hard. The woman was rather stunned that her song got that kind of response, but when she asked all the southerners in the room what we thought, it was unanimous that none of us felt it was a credible song. I know this lyric of yours was intended to be funny, but I was reminded of that incident when I read it. Since many of us here do have commercial aspirations, I thought it was worth pointing out.

Incidentally, I think your bridge is funny, too.

Randy

------------------
http://www.songramp.com/homepage.ez?Who=RandyB

http://www.songramp.com/homepage.ez?Who=RandyB
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/4/randybakermusic.htm