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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,202
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,202 |
Hey, Blake! It's about time you had something up here! I guess I can't talk. I haven't exactly been burning up the board lately, myself. If this is rusty, then you should be rusty more often. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) I think it's pretty darn solid. I really liked V1 - great imagery that pulls you in from the start. I only have a couple of nits. In the chorus, line 4 didn't do it for me. The "states" thing is the culprit. It's too impersonal, or something. I'd come up with something stronger, something more personal. In V2, I think the last line could be much stronger. "I'll have to make do" seems like filler to me. I know you can do better (don't you hate it when people say that? ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) ). Other than those small nits, this looks good. Welcome back, Blake! Erica
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