Vinny VS. Suno



So Suno is like a divorce.

She’s getting 50 percent, and you’re standing there wondering how you ended up with twenty bucks and a guitar solo.

Suno’s got your music and lyrics, just like my ex in Texas got everything else.

But don’t worry. It says “In God We Trust” in the courtroom, so obviously justice is guaranteed.

My lawyer is Vinny. Vinny did sixty years in San Quentin, which technically means he has sixty years of legal experience.

Suno shows up with Harvey the Harvard lawyer and nine assistants from Yale.

I gave Vinny four bucks to research the case.

“Don’t spend it all in one place, Vinny.”

Harvey’s got a 900-page legal brief.

Vinny’s got a cigarette, a pencil he stole from the courthouse, and a very confident look on his face.

I like our chances.

I’ll say a little prayer for him. God seems to spend a lot of time around courtrooms anyway.

Then somebody tells me the judge owns a $40,000 sex robot made in China.

Forty thousand dollars?

For forty grand, she better change the oil in my truck and know how to reset the Wi-Fi.

And where the hell do you keep the thing?

Mrs. Jones knocks on the door unexpectedly:

“Come on in, Mrs. Jones. Ignore Linda standing perfectly still in the closet. She’s… a mannequin.”

At least technology has improved.

The old inflatable ones required a bicycle pump.

Nothing kills romance faster than four hours of cardio before the date even starts.

Pump, pump, pump…

“Almost there, honey.”

PSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Aw, hell.

She sprung a leak.

Now you’re naked on the bedroom floor with a bicycle pump, a roll of duct tape and a tire-patch kit.

By the time you find the leak, you’re not in the mood anymore.

Then your mother walks in.

There are certain things you can explain to your mother.

This isn’t one of them.

At that point, you don’t move across town.

You move to China.

Start a new life.

Try to blend in.

And somewhere back in California, Vinny is still in court fighting Suno with my four-dollar legal budget.

Godspeed, Vinny.

Godspeed.

Last edited by bennash; Yesterday at 06:25 PM.
We’re all built from the same dust and dreams,
Different roads, but the same means.