I hear you. I started playing a cheap guitar before my teen years, started writing songs about the same time. I was never great at playing guitar, but I became good at lyrics, singing was not for me, I was too shy to sing in public. I gave up writing for a few years but took it up again. I spent a lot of money over the years doing demos, but where do you pitch them. Most publishing companies would not accept songs from unknown writers and those that did accept were fly by night publishers that could not get close to big artist. I became a born-again Christian and started to write Gospel songs, something I couldn't do before, even though I tried. But still had the same problem, who do you pitch to. Plus there was less Gospel music used outside church by radio than any other genre. Then CCLI was formed to take care of churches so they could legally license and use writer's songs and pay for that use. But I knew nothing about CCLI but somehow, they knew about me, don't know how, I was not well known, but God knew about me. He works in mysterious ways. One day I get an email inviting me to send them some of my Gospel songs, once again how did they get my email, God again. So I sent what I had as demos and waited to see if they would be accepted. Six months went by and no word, so I figured they didn't use them. Then I get a cheque in the mail for a few dollars and a statement showing what countries churches had used my songs. I started writing and demoing Gospel songs, which was costing money that I did not have. But then I realized that churches did not need pro demos to know how a song was supposed to go, their music directors would perform the songs live in church. So I cut back on doing pro demos and just sent in rough demos of me singing and playing guitar. I was doubtful that they would ever get used, but to my surprised, they did use some of my rough demoed songs. I kept writing and sending them in and I now am making enough in royalties to pay me back all the money I spent on demos over the years. I'm not getting rich but I am happy I am at least getting heard. Maybe I will know someday if I helped bring someone to salvation through some of my songs. I now have over 2600 songs registered with CCLI.