Tony, i dont do critiques much any more (nobody cares) but I think I should offer you some tidbits on how to make this better.

Love the guitar, and i LOVE the first line of the first verse. Your melody doesnt match in the rest of it. follow the same meter. Your pitch is off in a few areas...

It's a long winded line, the first one, so what id consider is singing your one line, and then hooking it with the rainbow part right after it. Its not too soon, and it gives the busy verse melody a breather and stands out. I know, cause i just wrote a song in a similar structure. Four lines, is too boring there. Thats where knowing your song forms helps. this should be a AABA song structure. Maybe use some of the other bits as a bridge.

but i see this: get that hook in there more often, love the wide open feel of it signifying a rainbow, very clever. and i LOVE your final stanza, that's a great line and payoff. dont waste the good stuff on a wreck, and i mean that with good intent.

People, places, dreams and new faces, good times, sad times, memories and lies uncontested
Where's my rainbow?
Always searching, looking for that feeling, big city life, time and miles wasted
Where's my rainbow?

Rest follow suit

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 04/22/23 11:36 AM.