This is a fantastic story and the details within it are great. I liked the way the verses and bridges flow within the story too. I just have a couple of things that maybe you could clear up for me that seemed to pop out at me. Of course without hearing it, it does seem a bit long with all of the refrains after every verse and bridge. Do you think the listener will get tired of hearing the refrain 8 times or would it be better to parse them out between a double up verse or verse-bridge combination? It may shorten the song a little and lend more meaning and impact to the refrain if it is not stated so many times. It is interesting that you used a "pouring" comparison with moonlight, especially with the "mother's milk" reference as well. I usually associate Mother's Milk pouring as a sign of comfort and security and not as a description of light shining on something. Why did you choose that particular one? Last thing is the last line of the refrain, ". . . . the secret of magic" Does magic have a secret or is there "secret magic" or "the secret in magic". I may have missed something in that line with a meaning you're trying to convey. Thanks for this write I really enjoyed it.