12 members (Fdemetrio, bennash, Gary E. Andrews, Gavin Sinclair, Guy E. Trepanier, couchgrouch, Everett Adams, Calvin, 2 invisible),
816
guests, and
277
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 05/01/24 01:05 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
.
by Fdemetrio - 04/25/24 01:36 AM
|
|
|
.
by Fdemetrio - 04/24/24 10:25 AM
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22 |
Fred,
This is a really sweet song. I know what you're thinking about needing to have at least two choruses. I have an idea, but first I want to say your verse melody is strong enough that I don't you have to think that you need a real "hook-type chorus." Your bridge is also very climactic which gives you a great break from the verse whereas many songs need a break from the chorus--you don't. What I would experiment with and might do, maybe eliminate the repeat "title line" at the end of the chorus the first time through--let it be a bit of a "hanging line" if you know what I mean.
Another idea should you want to add a 2nd chorus, would be after the bridge at the ending, repeat ONLY the 1st chorus line and pause and hold on that note--then go to line four and finish out chorus. This will shorten the chorus a bit, and allow you to then tag without getting too much time. It may be an option for both choruses--you would have to experiment obviously. A couple of alternative sugs, and certainly not nits.
Very pleasant song!
steady-eddie.
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,795
Posts1,161,663
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"Sometimes, the best thing you can say, isn't the easiest thing" -Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|