JPF Home Page Forums General Messages Songwriter Message Forum Country Lyric/Music Writer Looking to Co-Write

I am most recently from Pueblo, Colorado. My main interest is country songwriting. I am not a performing singer or guitar player though I have been working to improve in those two areas. I consider my strength to be writing lyrics. I can also compose the basic music, i.e., suggested melody and chord progressions. I can provide a vocal/guitar MP3 to give a good idea of the melody along with a Word document with the lyrics and chords.

I would like the co-writer to be a performing singer/musician who can produce a professional quality recording of our songs. (The co-writer can also be songwriter. Suggestions for improving the lyrics, melody, and chords are welcome.)

I am not interested in paying for the recording. The co-writer and I would share 50/50 the copyright and any money made from the song. One possible goal: a cd with ten of our songs.

Here is a country song about a family: father, mother, two sons. The older son learns an important lesson. https://soundcloud.com/user-547002904/that-will-do-me-just-about-fine-091201

Here is a link to my Soundcloud page with over 50 songs, arranged in playlists.
https://soundcloud.com/search/sets?q=walt%20lamberg

If interested, please reply or send me a private message. I would appreciate hearing a sample recording by you.

This country song is a lot different from the one I previously posted.

A woman goes to a club to listen to country music and hopefully hook up with a guy she can have a good time with. She finds the guy, but he is not quite sure what he’s got himself into.

"This Country Gal's Gonna Have Her Fun"

https://soundcloud.com/user-547002904/gonna-have-her-fun-101101

Gonna Have Her Fun
© Walt Lamberg and Alan Lamberg

Verse 1
Well, I walk into this bar. She hooks me with her smile.
Then she reels me right in. We drink and talk for a while.
She says, “I’m lookin’ for a man who’s really in the know,
Who can take me to that place I’ve been rarin’ to go.
I just got divorced from my clueless ex-husband.
This country gal’s gonna have her fun.”

Verse 2
So she takes me on home; we’re going hot and heavy.
Brooks and Dunn’s on the TV. She says, “Rock me to the country.”
That big bed starts creakin’. Telephone’s ringin’.
Neighbors are yellin’. Her old boy friends are a’callin’.
She just cranks up the music; says, “Keep on honky-tonkin.”
This country gal’s gonna have her fun.

Chorus
Then she tells me she’ll be busy all next week,
But she pulls me into bed; she’s a love boutique.
Then she tells me it’s time we oughta take a break,
But she calls me, says she misses me so bad she aches.
She’s my boss lady, I’m her hired gun.
This country gal’s gonna have her fun.
Yeah, this country gal’s gonna have her fun.

Instrumental

Verse 3
Every night she’s been sayin’, “Now let’s don’t make a fuss.
When the good times are done, there won’t be nothing else.”
Well, the truth is I was hoping for a whole lot more,
But I know if I tell her, she’ll boot me out the door.
So I just play along ‘til I get my heart broken.
This country gal’s gonna have her fun.

Chorus Repeat

Tag
This country gal’s gonna have her fun.
This country gal’s gonna have her fun.
This country gal’s gonna have her fun.

Walt,
The sound is so low it can hardly be heard. Perhaps you can raise the volume.

Ray,

I cannot increase the volume on Soundcloud. Can you increase the volume on your computer? I can increase the volume on my computer speakers.


Thank you for listening.

Unlike the two songs I posted earlier, this is a sad country love song. The woman is unhappy in the relationship. The man refuses to face and deal with the situation until it appears to be too late.

“She Had Leavin’ on Her Mind”

https://soundcloud.com/user-547002904/she-had-leavin-on-her-mind-180522

Looking at your posting of lyrics I would like to congratulate on the neatness of your

lyrics , set up properly unlike many older Posters on here ; it was not available to me'

on my first listen , also you have the right format for your particular subjects

Hope you can find someone who can give your lyrics Good Prosody via Their Music

On any journey involving your song writing, you will find there will be many disappointments

along the way

There are some pretty decent writers on here I hope that some of their knowledge can be

of some help to you

Hi Walt
It would help if you put the lyrics up here for folks to comment on them. It's not all that clear on the recording.
Good luck anyhow.

Vic

Vic,

Thank you for your helpful advice. And thanks for listening.

Here is another sad country song about a father, mother, teenage daughter, and a teenage boy, who should have known better.

https://soundcloud.com/user-547002904/fly-away-angel-100615

Fly Away, Angel
(c) 2010 Walt Lamberg and Alan Lamberg

Intro: A E D A

Verse 1
[A] Her mama was a sweetheart, stood ‘bout [E] five foot one.
Her daddy was one big hard-drinkin’ [A] son of a gun.
[A] Together, they made an angel, a [E] joy in times of sorrow.
But there was that dumb boy, never [A] thinkin’ ‘bout tomorrow.

Verse 2
They were high school kids, saw each other everyday.
And every time they hugged, his hands were sure to stray.
She’d just say, “Now slow down, boy, what’s with the awful rush?”
But he played every hand like it was a royal flush.

Chorus
[D] Well, fly away, angel. [E] They’ll see you soon in [A] Heaven.
[D] Mama misses her baby girl; [E] daddy’s on the [A] wagon.
[D] Preacher says he’ll wash away all of daddy’s [E7] sins.
[D] Fly away, angel, [E] take that boy’s heart [A] with you.
[D] That boy won’t give his heart to [E] anyone a- [A] gain.
[D] He just wishes someone could take away the [E7] pain.
Fly away, [A] angel. [A A]

Verse 3
Graduation night came, things got kinda wild.
His friends kept tempting him with that demon bottle.
One hand on the steering wheel, one arm ‘round her shoulder.
Just one mile from her home, he lost it on the corner.

Chorus Repeat [A A]

Bridge
[G] Cop told him he was doing eighty.
[G] He just sat there quiet on the grass.
[D] Watched them carry away her body.
[B7] He didn’t have a scratch.

Chorus Repeat

Tag
[A] Fly away, angel. Fly away, angel. Fly away, angel.

Hi Walt.

Your rhymes in verses 1 & 2 are AA and BB but verse 3 has no rhyme on the first two lines.
This can work sometimes but it sounds wrong here.
You could try something like:
Graduation night came, things got kinda awkward.
His friends kept tempting him with that demon bottle.

The chorus seems like it has one too many lines (Fly away, angel, [E] take that boy’s heart [A] with you)
You could cut that or maybe sing it a different way.

The bridge seems to end on a sneering note by ending on "He didn’t have a scratch".
You could swap lines two and 4 and sing the "scratch" word without sneering.

These are just my own feelings about it so use or lose.

Vic

Hi, Walt.

Good comments from Vic.

You might get more feedback on your lyric(s) if you post it(them) to the Lyrics Feedback Forum 3.

For example, in this lyric, there’s a lot of information, but ironically little of it contributes to making the story memorable and compelling. In fact, there are at least three separate potential storylines here, none of which are developed (e.g. the girl, the boy, the parents).

The first two lines of V1 – arguably the most important lines in a first verse in setting up who or what a story is about – are about the girl’s parents. I think we need to know more about the girl, what is it that made her so special. That way we can sympathise regarding what happened to her.

The story is overly general, skimming across details, some of which (e.g. the boy’s wandering hands) I think are unnecessary. As it stands, the lyric is a good broad overview of the story you want to tell, but needs to be pared back, and given a tight focus, using only relevant details.

When you write, consider carefully your audience, the message you want to relate, the feeling/emotion you want to evoke, and the details and language/word choice you need to use in order to get the result you want. And remember the six friends: Who, What, When, Where, How, and Why. Try to incorporate at least a couple - or more of these - in a story-telling lyric (in particular country).

You're clearly keen to move ahead with your songs. I hope any feedback you receive here will be helpful to you.

In addition, there are very useful books available on the writing of strong lyrics. Anything by Pat Pattison, Sheila Davis, or Andrea Stolpe would be good. Likewise, Ralph Murphy has a good website, as does Pat Pattison.

http://murphyslawsofsongwriting.com/laws-of-songwriting

https://www.patpattison.com

Donna

Vic,

Thank you for your specific comments and suggestions. I agree with you about the rhyme. Verses 1 and 2 have perfect rhymes. Verse 3 has no rhymes, only words that have a slightly similar sound. I will work on Verse 3 and try to come up with perfect rhymes that contribute to the meaning of the text.

I don't know about the chorus. I wanted to deal with the effect of the loss of the girl on the three people closest to her.

As for the bridge, I did not intend a sneer there. I was trying to emphasize the huge difference in the effect of the boy's behavior on himself and on the girl. However, I will give that some thought too.

If you would like some feedback on one of your songs, please send me a link. Again, I appreciate your feedback.

Walt

Here is a light-hearted country song with a positive message.
https://soundcloud.com/user-547002904/treat-myself-to-some-good-times-101001

Treat Myself to Some Good Times
(c) 2010 Walt Lamberg and Alan Lamberg

Chorus
Well, the sky couldn’t be bluer, there’s a cool breeze blowin’
All the windows rolled down; know exactly where I’m goin’.
Got up feelin’ good, left early in the mornin’.
By evenin’ I’ll be where big city lights are shinin’.
Gonna treat myself to some Good Times.
Gonna treat myself to some Good Times.

Verse 1
I called in sick, knew the boss wouldn’t be pleased,
But he’s my brother-in-law, so he’ll leave it be.
I work harder than him, he knows that for a fact,
So it’s best that he cuts me a little slack.
You know, you bend a branch too hard, it’s gonna snap,
And, bro, you wouldn’t want that to happen.

Chorus Repeat

Verse 2
I work for the county, fixin’ miles of bad road.
Not my favorite job, but it makes the time go.
Got a bummed up knee; sometimes my hands shake
From a tour in Iraq, but I don’t belly ache.
I remember in the plane, when I was finally awake,
Nurse smiled, said, “Soldier, you’re goin’ home.”

Chorus Repeat

Bridge
You know, life can be a burden, weighin’ heavy on your mind,
'Til you can’t see the reason; you can’t hear the rhyme.
So be good to yourself, aint no crime to smile.
Just leave it all behind for a while.

Chorus Repeat

Tag: Yeah, treat myself to some Good Times.

Here is a light-hearted country song. A guy is trying to talk his wife (or girlfriend) into going out dancing. For some reason, she isn’t in the mood. He tries using humor and flattery and succeeds.

https://soundcloud.com/user-547002904/do-the-honky-tonk-tonight-101201

Do The Honky Tonk Tonight
© 2010 Walt Lamberg and Alan Lamberg

Verse 1
Come on, country lady, gotta party tonight.
Now don’t you say no. We gonna do it all right.
Turn off the TV, the news is all bad.
Turn off the radio, the songs are all sad.
The whole damn world might be going mad,
But we’re gonna have a night like we never had.
Oh, yeah, do the honky tonk tonight.

Verse 2
Come on, country lady, gotta party tonight.
Don’t give me that look. We gonna do it all right.
Put up your hair or leave it down.
Put on your jeans or that nice evening gown.
Whatever makes you happy when we rock this town.
I see you want to smile; I don’t believe that frown.
Oh, yeah, do the honky tonk tonight.

Chorus
There’s a rocking new place just down the road.
We can go there in my pickup or your GTO.
Got a real nice bar, soft lights in the ceiling,
Just dark enough for a little romancin’.
The band’s all country and they play real loud.
There’s a big dance floor and a friendly crowd.
Oh, yeah, do the honky tonk tonight.

Verse 3
Come on, country lady, gotta party tonight.
Oh, I see it in your eyes; we gonna party all right.
When we walk through the door ‘bout quarter to nine,
You’ll break a lot of hearts ‘cause you look so fine,
And when we get to dancin’, we’ll have ourselves a time.
We’ll waltz, swing, two-step, do the country line.
Oh, yeah, do the honky tonk tonight.

Chorus Repeat

Tag
Come on, country lady, do the honky tonk tonight..
You’re my country lady, I’ll be your cowboy tonight.
Come on, country lady,do the honky tonk tonight.

A light-hearted country song about a husband, wife, and son.

https://soundcloud.com/user-547002904/a-rainbow-just-for-us-101220

A Rainbow Just for Us
©2010 Walt Lamberg and Alan Lamberg

Verse 1
I know I promised to go over the bills tonight,
But, honey, I’m guessing we’ll have another fight.
Put off that trip we planned, oh that is tough.
Forget about trading in for that brand new truck.
I swear I can’t beg or borrow or steal any luck.

Chorus
Say, look, it stopped raining.
Let’s take that walk now.
Let’s hold hands. Let’s not fuss.
We’ll put aside our worries for just a little while.
Hey, this will make you smile.
There’s a rainbow just for us.
A bright blue sky and a rainbow just for us.

Verse 2
I know I’m supposed to have that talk with Bobby.
His grades and his attitude aint been real good lately.
I’ll say, there’s more to life than what your friends been saying.
Wearing ear plugs, taking calls, and all that texting.
And when did you get too old for church and praying?

Chorus Repeat

Bridge
Sometimes I feel I’m ten years older than I am.
Sometimes I’m sure my back’s going out again.
But then I think of Bobby when he was our little man.
And I think of you and me, how good it’s been.

Chorus Repeat

Tag: A rainbow just for us.

I have read and heard many stories about the strong attachment between a dog and a veteran or person serving in active military duty. I have that attachment to my son's dog, Aspen.

https://soundcloud.com/user-547002904/aspen-181201

Aspen (She's My Soulmate. She's a Winner.)
©2018 Walt Lamberg and Alan Lamberg

Verse 1
She’s a small-sized husky, from Colorado.
She plays, sleeps, eats, needs to be let out to go.
Look into her eyes, see the wolf that she came from.
But she’s much more than that: kind, caring, and fun.
Look at her mouth. It shows a smile. This dog smiles.
Intelligent? She’s smarter than lots of folks I know.
She has a personality that’s a wonder.
Aspen, she’s my soulmate. She’s a winner.

Chorus
Aspen wags her tail real fast, excited,
Runs up to greet me as I walk through the door.
She has a toy in her mouth. Who’s that for?
Just sitting on the couch with her here,
All my cares, worries, bad memories disappear.
Aspen, she’s my soulmate. She’s a winner.

Verse 2
Aspen roams the backyard; that’s her territory.
But all God’s creatures are welcome there.
Little kids can pet her, old folks can hug her.
She plays with bigger dogs, chases squirrels for fun.
Aspen’s very best friend is a little white cat.
They cuddle together when they take a nap.
Dogs, squirrels, cats, people, she’s their sister.
Aspen, she’s my soulmate. She’s a winner.

Chorus Repeat

Bridge
Had an uncle served in World War Two, came home, didn’t get around much anymore.
Spent most of his time with his little dog. I didn’t understand what for.
Then I served in a war, came home, don’t get around much anymore.
Spend my time with Aspen, now I know, I understand what for.
When my uncle died, they gave his wife the flag. His little dog didn’t want to leave his grave.
I understood what for.

Chorus Repeat

Tag: Yeah Aspen, she’s my soulmate. She’s a winner.

I decided to revise the song because 1. it needed a chorus that expressed a main idea, 2. the song was too long, and 3. some details needed to be deleted (I might use those details in a second song about Aspen and her best friend - a cat).

https://soundcloud.com/user-547002904/aspen-shes-my-soulmate-181230

Aspen (She’s My Soulmate)
© Walt Lamberg and Alan Lamberg

Verse 1
She’s a small-sized husky, from Colorado.
She plays, sleeps, eats, has to be let out to go.
Look into her eyes, see the wolf she came from.
But she’s much more than that: smart, caring, and fun.
Look at her mouth. It shows a smile. This dog smiles.
She has a personality that’s a wonder.
Better than lots of folks I’ve known.

Chorus
Had an uncle served in World War Two,
Came home, didn’t get around much anymore.
Spent most of his time with his little dog.
I didn’t understand what for.
Then I served in a war.
Now I spend my time with Aspen.
Now I know, I understand what for.
Aspen, she’s my soulmate.

Verse 2
Aspen wags her tail, watches out the window.
She seems to know the time, I wave hello.
She greets me as I walk through the door.
She has a toy in her mouth. Who’s that for?
We sit on the couch, it’s been a long day.
I pet her as she leans against me.
All my cares, worries, bad memories disappear.

Chorus Repeat

Bridge
Evening, what to do? Aspen and I go out to the backyard.
I have a drink, watch the sunset; she roams her playground.
I look at her; she looks at me. We agree it’s getting late.

Chorus 2
Now I know, I understand what for.
Aspen, she’s my soulmate.

Tag: Yeah Aspen, she’s my soulmate.

Sorry but I am not a performing singer or musician. Just do lyrics, but if would like to create melody for any of my lyrics you can let me know and I'll send you a couple.

Thank you for your response. However, my main interest is lyric writing so I am more interested in working with a performing singer/musician than another lyric writer. Best wishes with your music. Look forward to hearing your songs.

This is a country love song. I wrote this for a male singer, but I think this could lo be sung as a duet by a male and female singer. The male would sing Verse 1 and Pre-Chorus 1. The male and female would sing together the three choruses and the bridge. The female would sing Verse 2 (“some guy” would be changed to “some girl”) and the Pre-Chorus 2.

https://soundcloud.com/search?q=walt%20lamberg%20your%20own%20song

Your Own Song
© 2011 Walt Lamberg and Alan Lamberg

Intro: G D C D

Verse 1
Got your postcard, from that old general store.
I’ll bet you had fun stopping there.
And I could see your smile whenever you would phone.
You had that adventure all on your own.

Pre-Chorus 1
And every mile that you traveled took you farther away from me,
But you said you would be coming back, and that’s what I believed.

Chorus
So don’t say you missed me.
Just come here and kiss me.
Just want to hold you, it’s been too long.
You have those memories like a melody.
You had to play and sing your own song.
I missed you, too, I missed our harmony.
But now you’re here, and now I can see.
You had to play and sing your own song.

Verse 2
Got that photo, you sitting by the harbor,
I’ll admit I had to wonder
Who took your picture, was it some guy just passing by?
I wanted so much to hold you that night.

Pre-Chorus 2
And every road you wandered took you farther away from me,
But you said I was always in your heart; that’s what I believed.

Chorus Repeat

Bridge
I’ve had that longing, too, to write my own song,
But then it came to me:
The best song would be a duet with you.

Chorus Repeat

Out: G G G

Hey Walt,

You really should post these individually on the Lyric Feedback boards as this isn't the best or even correct place to post lyrics if you are looking for any type of feedback. This is meant more for technique discussion or songwriter's in the news etc. Feedback boards for full songs, Lyrics and Videos are posted further down the boards if you scroll down a bit.

Feel free to post them one at a time on those 3 boards (i.e. don't place the same song on multiple boards) and give it a day or two and you can add 3 more across the 3 boards and so on. It's also a nice archive of all those lyrics should you need them later.

Brian

Brian,

Thank you for your guidance. I will do that.

Actually, I am looking more for a co-writer than for feedback at this point. I thought this was the appropriate board for looking for co-writers.

Walt

Be glad to help on the lyric side. I'm not a musician.

Ckiphen,

Thank you for your response. I feel confident about my lyrics. I'm looking for a performing country singer/musician. Good luck with your songs.

Walt, you're right that asking for a cowriter here is a good thing, but posting lyrics continually doesn't really work. There's no harm in posting the lyrics on those feedback boards with a disclaimer that you're just looking for a musician to write the music for your words and that there's no need to post feedback. Having them there, with their titles exposed is a way for potential cowriters to scan through titles until something interests them and then they look further. If they aren't interested in your titles, that's a bad sign that you may need to adjust or consider going forward. I don't mind you adding them here, now that you've made it clear you don't want feedback, just make sure it is said in each posting of a lyric what it is you want so no one spends the time to offer one up.

Brian

Brian,

Thank you for the clarification. I understand. I will post my lyrics in the feedback boards with the title displayed in the thread, and in the text I will specify that I am looking for a co-writer, not feedback at that point. I agree that if they don't like the title, they probably won't be interested in the song. My titles are always the "hook."

Once we establish a co-write, if the person has helpful feedback for the lyrics, I will be happy to consider it.

I appreciate your guidance.

Walt

Hi Walt:

Welcome to JPF. Brian has already introduced himself and explained some significant facts about how you'll have a better chance at reaching your objectives. Best wishes for success in music... and in life.

I'm reaching the final stages of my song-writing activities and avoid co-writing because of all the logistics and human factors involved. I have co-written with folks in the UK, Canada, Australia, the Philippines and several states in the U.S. These days, I prefer to write and record all by myself. That way, I only have myself to blame... or to share in the success or failures achieved.

Be prepared for a journey of mixed experiences... some great, some good, some not so good, and some, downright distressing. If it stops being enjoyable, find another activity you enjoy. Always keep in mind... there are at least 100 new songwriters of various stripes entering this strange addiction each day... probably more. (My best guess!)

Good luck,

----Dave

Dave,

Thank you for your response.

Walt