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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 652
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Hi all, my muse has awaken. I have the music and want to record. This is rnb soul genre. Any advice before I record will be warmly accepted.Thanks in advance :)(Slight revision)
He knows me (c)Liana Steer 6-2011
Lead Mmmmmm Mmmmmm He knows me He knows me ohh so well
V1 Takes my heart to where it should be Makes me feel were in synergy This web of life so finely spun No mixed emotions to come undone
Chorus Oh he knows me He knows me oh so well He knows me He shows oh so well
V2 I dream of him when I close my eyes Im so happy Im mesmerised When he holds me I cant deny His lovins in endless supply
Bridge I taste him on my lips I feel him total eclipse I want him till I explode Body n souls in overload
V3 He makes me forget where Ive been And all the heartache Ive seen He moves me to that special place Winner takes all at the end of this chase
Chorus
V4 No intention, of letting him go Keepin this rhythm, lovin this flow Hes won my heart, make no mistake Wanna stay in this dream, and never wake
Chorus Oh He knows me He knows me oh so well He knows me He shows oh so well
Tag He knows me make no mistake.. Wanna stay in this dream, and never wake He knows me ohhh so well He knows me ohhh so well
Last edited by Katziis; 06/26/11 02:39 AM.
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Joined: Jul 2010
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HiDee Mz L!
Very Likeable Lyric/Good Rhymes/Flows Syllable-Perfectly.
Dunno 'bout the "total eclipse" line...since Things Get Pretty DARK during a Solar one..& Pitch-Black during a Lunar. (&.."totalLY" is proper English...Methinks...)
V4 & TAG..ya could shed the "and" & make it "never A-wake"...
Overall, Fine & Full of Soul-&-Devotion! KOS the Sugs & Good Luck With It!
Best Weekend Wishes & a Big Hug, Stan
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Joined: May 2001
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Hi mate Stan, Thank you so much for your comments you can pick it always..I wanted "eclipse" to mean consume me..didnt want to use any old cliche with lips...I will work on it because its a harder one to sing the way it is, its up for revision!... I have also removed one word "that"I've seen, just to sing smoother. I will also try singing it with never "awake" sounds good to me! :)K
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Hi, Liana! Very smooth.... if you want to keep the "eclipse" in the rhyme with the meaning you are going for and keeping the syllable count as is, try "HE IS MY total eclipse" if it sings well. Hope the recording goes well... very pretty song! --Jen
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.--Mark Twain
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Joined: May 2001
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Hi Jen, Thanks for stopping by and the comments, I have done a few takes and will try the wording you suggest Its a bit hard to write it with the pause as when I submit it joins the sentence but it sings like this for the bridge "I feel him" space "(a) total eclipse" don't know if that may make a difference? I may not get the sound up for a couple of months now as the musician is away this week and I am going away but when I'm back I will definitely put it up. Thank you :)K
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Hi Katziis I like this. I sse it as a nice easy soul number, the kind that wants to make you drift away.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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