Hi all, my muse has awaken. I have the music and want to record. This is rnb soul genre. Any advice before I record will be warmly accepted.Thanks in advance :)(Slight revision)

He knows me (c)Liana Steer 6-2011

Lead
Mmmmmm
Mmmmmm
He knows me
He knows me ohh so well

V1
Takes my heart to where it should be
Makes me feel were in synergy
This web of life so finely spun
No mixed emotions to come undone

Chorus
Oh he knows me
He knows me oh so well
He knows me
He shows oh so well

V2
I dream of him when I close my eyes
Im so happy Im mesmerised
When he holds me I cant deny
His lovins in endless supply

Bridge
I taste him on my lips
I feel him total eclipse
I want him till I explode
Body n souls in overload

V3
He makes me forget where Ive been
And all the heartache Ive seen
He moves me to that special place
Winner takes all at the end of this chase

Chorus

V4
No intention, of letting him go
Keepin this rhythm, lovin this flow
Hes won my heart, make no mistake
Wanna stay in this dream, and never wake

Chorus
Oh He knows me
He knows me oh so well
He knows me
He shows oh so well

Tag
He knows me make no mistake..
Wanna stay in this dream, and never wake
He knows me ohhh so well
He knows me ohhh so well

HiDee Mz L!

Very Likeable Lyric/Good Rhymes/Flows Syllable-Perfectly.

Dunno 'bout the "total eclipse" line...since Things Get Pretty DARK during a Solar one..& Pitch-Black during a Lunar. (&.."totalLY" is proper English...Methinks...)

V4 & TAG..ya could shed the "and" & make it "never A-wake"...

Overall, Fine & Full of Soul-&-Devotion! KOS the Sugs & Good Luck With It!

Best Weekend Wishes & a Big Hug,
Stan

Hi mate Stan,
Thank you so much for your comments you can pick it always..I wanted "eclipse" to mean consume me..didnt want to use any old cliche with lips...I will work on it because its a harder one to sing the way it is, its up for revision!... I have also removed one word "that"I've seen, just to sing smoother. I will also try singing it with never "awake" sounds good to me! :)K

Hi, Liana!

Very smooth.... if you want to keep the "eclipse" in the rhyme with the meaning you are going for and keeping the syllable count as is, try "HE IS MY total eclipse" if it sings well.

Hope the recording goes well... very pretty song!

--Jen

Hi Jen,
Thanks for stopping by and the comments, I have done a few takes and will try the wording you suggest Its a bit hard to write it with the pause as when I submit it joins the sentence but it sings like this for the bridge "I feel him" space "(a) total eclipse" don't know if that may make a difference?
I may not get the sound up for a couple of months now as the musician is away this week and I am going away but when I'm back I will definitely put it up. Thank you :)K

Hi Katziis
I like this. I sse it as a nice easy soul number, the kind that wants to make you drift away.