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by Fdemetrio - 04/25/24 01:36 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/24/24 10:25 AM
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by Sunset Poet - 04/24/24 08:09 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/23/24 10:08 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/23/24 12:41 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/22/24 10:39 PM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/22/24 11:04 AM
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by Rob B. - 04/21/24 08:40 PM
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Joined: Feb 2001
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I'll be in to do some critiquing instead of working tomorrow... till then, a new collaboration. Listen here: http://www.songramp.com/view.ez?sampleid=25040 or here for those of you with slower connections (like myself): http://www.soundclick.com/bands/4/coreyparkmanmusic.htm Her Legacy ©2004 Corey Parkman/Scott Word She said there was no room for her dreams In this little backwoods town Said she was ready to try her wings Leave this patch of ground She wanted to see how far she could get Wanted to be remembered Well I don’t know if she’s made it yet But she was true to her word ’Cause she’s already gone and left her mark A trail of scars across my broken heart Tatters and tears are all she left of me A lost and lonely man, that's her legacy Now a quiet two bedroom house Stands in memorial It’s filled with shadows, regrets and doubt Old pictures down the hall And here at this bar just across town The smoke hangs like a ghost With a half empty bottle of Crown In her name I raise a toast Oh she’s already gone and left her mark A trail of scars across my broken heart Tatters and tears are all she left of me A lost and lonely man, that's her legacy Bridge The truth in her words is forever burned in my mind She always said she wanted to leave something behind (Repeat Chorus) [This message has been edited by Corey (edited 01-04-2005).]
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WOW, That Bridge is a Bittersweet HOOT, CoreyGuy!
Mebbie "ESCAPIN' this patch of ground"
"Remembered/Word" din't QUITE Half-Rhyme for me somehow...as I Read it...Wierd how it DOES Rhyme when SUNG!
Howbout "DEEP Trail of Scars across my broken heart"...? Excellent Chorus..3-Full-Hankeys-Worth! (Mebbie "THIS Lost, Lonely Man, that's Her Legacy"..got an "and" in Line-Prior...)
LOVE the Irony in dat BRIDGE Again... "KUDOS" as-Usual, and K-O-S alla the Late Nite Suggestions, Amigo!
Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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I loved this demo.. Sounds like a hit to me! ------------------ http://shayneman.proboards19.com/
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I tried to listen but you do not have a "download" option on that song and I use Linux and for some reason, I can't simply click to listen, I have to download, then listen. The lyric appears well-written but I'd have to hear it to pass judgment. Good luck.
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Corey, very good song.
I haven't been around since I got booted off the board many months ago. I only today heard the news about Dawg. I can't believe it, he was the golden standard as far as I am concerned. I too will miss him terribly. Please pass on to Bobbie my condolences, let her know she is in my thoughts and prayers. I am stunned.
Regards, Justin Hauser
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Thanks Stan. I knew the 'word/remembered' rhyme would be a toughie, but Scott pulled it off flawlessly. I appreciate all the suggestions. This'n is getting a pro critique right now as well and we'll combine all the suggestions and get this one pitch-worthy. I appreciate the visit.
CP
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Can't give a listen at the moment, but if it sounds as good as it reads...you've got a winner. Well done, once again. Randy
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Thanks Shayne. That means a lot, coming from an accomplished writer such as yourself.
CP
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I like this a lot, Corey! The only word that didn't seem to flow well (to me) was "memorial", but everything else sounded really good! I've never met Scott, but he did a great job ... bet it won't be your last collab! ------------------ Mary Lou http://www.soundclick.com/bands/3/mlsudkampmusic.htm
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Thanks Justin. Good to see you back on the site. Yeah, we definitely miss the presence of Greydog. He was a friend and a great writer. I hope I carry a little bit of him with me as I go forward in my writing.
CP
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Thanks Randy. I hope you get a chance to listen to the song. The words alone don't do it justice... Scott really did it up right.
CP
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Hey Corey you gotta stop bogarting all the great singers great stuff!!!
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Thanks Mary Lou. Yeah, 'memorial' is a toughie. I think he might sing it a little easier as he gets more comfortable with the song (or we might end up having to change it, lol). Glad you liked the tune!
CP
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Thanks Ritt. Funny you say that about bogarting singers... to be perfectly honest, this was the first collab I've done that came about because I made the first contact. I'd heard Scott on several tracks and thought his style fit mine, so I emailed him... and the first fruit is pretty tasty. Hope there are more to come. Hey, if you don't mind, drop back by Songramp and gimme a 'favorite' vote (if in fact, you feel that it is worthy), and you'll pop me up into the country top 10 chart. CP
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I hate songramp
Songramp has decided that me and my dial up aren't good enopugh to listen to your music
screw songramp
they won't even let me download it like on other sites
i hate songramp
SCREW songramp !
sorry, corey...I tried
Have I mentioned that I HATE songramp?
Bob
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Bob - I found the same problem as you on songramp. I'm on dial up too (but not for much longer yipeee!). But I found that if you click on play - and nothing happens - click on play a second time, and it comes up with a download option - worked for me!
Corey - I'll come back to you when I've managed to listen to it!
Diane
Mz Bernie Taupin looking for her Elton John??
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there ya go, i voted for all three songs!!!
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Corey, I got to it.
I have no idea what you are trying to do with this song. I am going to assume pitch it to artists. If it's just for your own record, it's fine. It's a good song, well done.
As for commercial potential, I don't think it will go anywhere. I think the lyric is good, the music is good, the voice is good, the recording is good. But I don't think it's great. I don't think it's memorable. What makes a song memorable? I don't know, you know it when you hear it. It's elusive.
Again, very well done. But in the spurned love department, there a gazillions songs an it has to be terrific to stand out. Good luck! BTW, "memorial" sounded odd.
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C'mon back when you hear it, Diane. Thanks Ritt. You and somebody else voted and vaulted the tune to #9. Thanks Randy. Glad you enjoyed and I'll pass along the thumbs up. CP
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That someone else was me, Corey. Thought you could use another step up the ladder. Randy
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Just listened Corey. I really enjoyed it! Scott has a wonderful voice. Well done both of you! I gave it a vote too!
Diane
Mz Bernie Taupin looking for her Elton John??
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Thanks Duke. I appreciate the honestly. Yeah, we'd love for this to be commercial, but your points are well taken. Any thoughts on how this could stand out more? I think it's lyrically different than anything I've heard, for the most part. Like I told Stan, this is getting a pro critique from two writers and one of them has had some ideas for the melody. Anyway, good to hear from you and thanks again for the comments! Thanks for the boost Randy. And Diane, thanks for the reply and the vote. I think the song's at #7 now . Probably won't go much higher, as the Songramp stalwarts pretty much rule the roost. CP
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Wow! This is SWEET, Trailerparkman. You and Scott do a GREAT little collab thing. Two thumbs up, boys! Good luck with it, too. ------------------ "Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you will land among the stars." -- Les Brown http://www.soundclick.com/bands/8/triciabakermusic.htm
"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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Excellent piece, Corey. I'll surely be doing the Sonramp thang for ya.
Eddie
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Thanks Tricia. I hope Scott and I can do more work together. This ain't bad for a first time out, if I say so myself.
Hey Eddie. Welcome to JPF... I appreciate the read/listen/comments!
CP
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