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Would appreciate any feedback you might offer on my newest song and recording. Thanks a bunch. EULOGYMusic & Lyrics by David S. Becker ©2015 David S. Becker Music All Rights Reserved https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/theres-a-light-in-my-life-wipINTROVERSE 1Well we spoke of his life While the pain Oh it cut like a knife And we fought Through the tears and the words As they led him to the light VERSE 2And did he watch from above I hope he knew Just how much he is loved My darkest days Well they'll always shine bright When I see his guiding light CHORUSPolitical brawls Goofy ... birthday calls Now just memories To share A family treasure Is somehow measured In praise And solemn prayer As we drown in our despair VERSE 3Now there's a light in my life I know he's there Through the struggle and the strife I can feel it As he grips my heart And tugs with all his might ORCHESTRAL INTERLUDE
CHORUS
BRIDGEDaddy can you hear me I'm calling out your name I wish you were here with me My life won't be the same It won't be the same no CHORUS
VERSE MUSIC FADE OUT
Last edited by GocartMoz; 08/10/15 01:07 PM.
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Would appreciate any feedback you might offer on my newest song and recording. Thanks a bunch. EULOGYMusic & Lyrics by David S. Becker ©2015 David S. Becker Music All Rights Reserved https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/theres-a-light-in-my-life-wipINTROVERSE 1Well we spoke of his life While the pain Oh it cut like a knife And we fought Through the tears and the words As they led him to the light VERSE 2And did he watch from above I hope he knew Just how much he is loved My darkest days Well they'll always shine bright When I see his guiding light CHORUSPolitical brawls Goofy ... birthday calls Now just memories To share A family treasure Is somehow measured In praise And solemn prayer As we drown in our despair VERSE 3Now there's a light in my life I know he's there Through the struggle and the strife I can feel it As he grips my heart And tugs with all his might ORCHESTRAL INTERLUDE
CHORUS
BRIDGEDaddy can you hear me I'm calling out your name I wish you were here with me My life won't be the same It won't be the same no CHORUS VERSE MUSIC FADE OUT Wow Dave...this has got to be one of your best. Just an awesome listening experience. My hat comes off to you, bud! The bridge is brilliant, both musically and lyrically. GREAT singing. You really channeled the emotional vibrato in a powerful and meaningful way. GREAT stuff! -Tom
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Thx for giving this a spin Tom. I am glad you liked it.
Dave
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Nicely written Dave.
The instruments sound crisp.
I would up the lead vocal by about 1-2 db.
Also, try to eq out some of the muddiness on vocal too.
Vic
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Absolutely wonderful!Such a heartfelt lyric and a top notch performance.Mike
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Dave,
Beautiful write, cool arrangement/melody. I would like to hear harmony on perhaps three or four lines in the chorus--not opening two lines and let the last line be lonely without the harmony. Experiment using the harmony for accenting certain chorus lines rather than complete change up, your chorus will not seem as abrupt, yet still lifting IMO--which is only that and certainly not necessarily right. Every song is different with when and how much harmony is best, I usually record several harmonies, than experiment pulling certain ones out for better effect.
I like the orchestra interlude, a bit different from you with your guitar abilities! Nice to produce and arrange differently isn't it!
Nice song here Dave, great lyrics too.
steady-eddie.
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@Vic ... Thx for giving this spin Vic and much thx for the suggestions, ALways appreciated.
Dave
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Wow, that was an emotional ride. The arrangement,
the lyric and the vocal really pull the listener
in and holds him/her there. instrumental tracks,
the write, the vocal, the arrangement and the
mix are all really strong.
Kudos...this is powerful. Look forward to more
listens on our SC fav playlist.
J&B
Check out our new album Janice Merritt "Am I Blue Enough?"
on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.
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Holy smoke Dave! That's the best I've heard from you, or most everyone aboard here! Very moving write and performance!
All the best my brother.
Doug
Learn all the musical rules inside and out- Then break 'em...
Grace..Peace...Love
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@Michael .... Thx much for giving this a spin Michael. GLad you enjoyed it.
Dave
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@Eddie ..., Thx as always for the listen. Great ideas and suggestions as always. Interesting that you focused on the chorus. After writing the song and starting to record it, I realized I had written it in to high a key for me to sing the chorus like I wanted to, but felt the key for the verse was right for me. When I write I Kind of sing under my breath. It is only when I record that I first try to belt it out. The chorus became quite the work in progress as a result. Thx again,
Dave
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Great song Dave, both lyrics and music. Really hits home. Thanks for sharing this!
Todd
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Masterful intro, Dave.
A beautiful write and brilliant overall performances.
Lovely ORCHESTRAL INTERLUDE...... fits in perfectly.
Awesome Chorus and emotional vocals
Well Done
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Impressive work, Dave:
I like your arrangement of the song you wrote and played so well. Could it be better? Sure... in a high-dollar studio with megabucks backing you and a team of "experts" in all the right areas... but I enjoyed it just the way you did it. Don't let this one slip away. It has great potential... just like you.
----Dave
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@Janice & Bud ... Thx so much for the listen and kind comments. Always appreciate it
@Doug ... Thx as well for the ears and your very kind comments. They made my day. Appreciate the listen
Dave
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Beautiful stuff Dave.
"As we drown in our despair" is a great line, and your vocal puts it over the top.
Regards,
Bob
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@Calvin & Todd ... Thx for the listen and comments. I am glad you enjoyed the song.
Dave
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Hi Dave,
Tragically powerful ... and.just beautiful!
I remember your father was ill.
If this is about him, and you lost him ... I'm so sorry for your loss.
Lisa
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@Mr. Nelson and Dave - Thank you both for your time and kind words. They are greatly appreciated.
Dave
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Hi Dave,
Very well played and a powerful lyric to go with the beautiful music. V2 could be even stronger if you made it all in present tense, like this.
As he watches from above
I hope he knows
Just how much he is loved
Just a thought. Nicely done,
Ricki
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Yes I go a long with the other comments too Dave.excellent song all round.best of luck with it.
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Dave, real good song. The beauty of the music turns this reflection on the passing of a loved one into a benediction. The "drowning in despair" line was a jarring intrusion to the mood. I'd replace it with something gentler. Maybe something to do with a holy prayer. Still, it's a fine piece of work.
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@90db .... Thx for the spin and comments. They are always appreciated.
@Lisa .... Thx for your thoughts as well. Thx also Lisa for your condolences. This song is about my dad, but just as much the outpouring of love by those that spoke at his funeral of the impact he had on their lives. He passed away at the end of June. You may remember a previous song I posted entitled My Daddy's Eyes, written as he was dealing with his long suffering health issues.
Dave
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@ Ricki ... Thx for giving it a spin and excellent suggestion on the lyric. Appreciate it greatly.
@Travis .... Thx as always. Appreciate the extra set of ears
Thx again
Dave
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Hi Dave,
I've pretty well sworn off social media but a friend on this site told me over the phone about your song and how great it was so I hajavascript: x()d to check it out. Glad I did.
This is so well laid out in so many ways. Great lyric and music, yes but the vocal delivery and it's emotion sells it. I really like how your arrangements have evolved since I've known you here. The guitar work was always stellar and now you've added the dimension of bass with it and orchestral elements.
The one thing I would suggest mix wise is the tree chimes seem too much out front. They should be more subtle IMO. I'm going to send you a pm on some other thoughts.
This is really well done. Take a bow, my friend.
Steve
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Hi David,
This is a very ambitious production and it's mostly excellent. I would lower the volume of the wind chimes somewhat, and add more reverb to them; also, you can hear the "keyboard action" on the strings during the solo, and I was thinking maybe they'd sound better more in the background and with a tad more reverb to disguise their virtual-ness.
The lyric is so personal and vulnerable..very beautiful writing, and a moving lead vocal to match.
Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Dave,
This is truly wonderful. Spectacular!
Your vocal is all it should be. The production is super.
As other have said, probably your best ever! Big time solid.
This song is WAY too good for the "cut like a knife" line - that is so overused (cliché) and this song is anything but!!!!
floyd
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@Dan ... Thx for the comments Dan ... They are greatly appreciated.
Dave
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@Stevie ... Thx much for the listen and comments Stevie. It is greatly appreciated. Thx also for the great suggestions. I look forward to giving them a try.
@Michael ... Thx as well for the listen and input Michael. It is greatly appreciated.
Dave
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@Floyd ... Thx so much for the comments and listen. Always appreciated.
Dave
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