10 members (bennash, Fdemetrio, Gavin Sinclair, Sunset Poet, rpirone, couchgrouch, Everett Adams, Calvin, 2 invisible),
744
guests, and
364
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
.
by Fdemetrio - 04/25/24 01:36 AM
|
|
|
|
.
by Fdemetrio - 04/24/24 10:25 AM
|
.
by Sunset Poet - 04/24/24 08:09 AM
|
|
|
.
by Fdemetrio - 04/23/24 10:08 AM
|
.
by Fdemetrio - 04/23/24 12:41 AM
|
|
.
by Fdemetrio - 04/22/24 10:39 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
.
by Fdemetrio - 04/22/24 11:04 AM
|
|
.
by Rob B. - 04/21/24 08:40 PM
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
|
OP
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
True story -- ugh! Couldn't believe my good fortune when I read this headline today, and I had to write this!
Also, I changed "on my knees to "DOWN on my knees" per Terry's suggestion -- thanks, Terry!
Shortage of Velveeta Cheese
A friend of mine likes to make me cheese soup Big blob of Velveeta stirred into frozen broccoli She serves it up with the spoon standing in it Even Kraft should admit it's ungodly
First time I had it I swore it was a joke Third time choking on it, I knew I was the punchline Sometimes I dream of a bowl of tortillas Even one chip to sop up the slime
CHORUS Hooray, Hooray! I read it in the paper today There's a shortage of Velveeta Cheese I'm DOWN on my knees...praying it stays that way
Turns out that kind of cheese doesn't grow on trees And unlike disease people want it in their stomachs It's manufactured entirely on purpose Lately there's been a run on the market
CHORUS Hooray, Hooray! I read it in the paper today There's a shortage of Velveeta Cheese I'm DOWN on my knees...praying it stays that way
BRIDGE Lucky for me I'm getting a short reprieve Hope she doesn't have a can of Whiz up her sleeve
CHORUS Hooray, Hooray! I read it in the paper today There's a shortage of Velveeta Cheese I'm DOWN on my knees...praying it stays that way
(c) 2013, Lisa Gundling
Last edited by Lisa Gundling; 01/09/14 03:30 PM.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 3,005
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 3,005 |
Love the Chorus!
CHORUS Hooray, Hooray! I read it in the paper today There's a shortage of Velveeta Cheese I'm on my knees . . . praying it stays that way
The last line makes me laugh. Musically I would separate knees and praying.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325 Likes: 4
Top 40 Poster
|
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325 Likes: 4 |
Very well done Lisa. Have to admit though I use to love Velveeta. My mom would buy it. Don't eat it any longer. douglas
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 |
I had to do a Google Lisa, never heard of it! Although I love cheese in particularly Cheddar and Cheshire.Another off the wall one! Frozen broccoli as well your friend seems as bad at cooking as my wife.She makes gravy the kind that doesn't move around and tells me that's the goodness in it! I tell her no, it's the half pound of flour you put in it. Another one for a Calvin collab? Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
|
OP
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Hi Terry,
Okay, I've added the ellipses, but now I feel like Kaley Willow -- LOL! I'm so glad you enjoyed it...THANKS!
Lisa
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
|
OP
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Hi Douglas,
I turned on the radio this morning and two DJs were having a lively, heated debate about the shortage of Velveeta cheese. One, like you, was remembering it fondly from childhood!
I think that I'm in the minority, but even people who like Velveeta cheese can barely choke down her soup. It should be served as a dip, with tortilla chips or, at least, bread. She serves that course with nothing but the "soup."
Thanks for stopping by! Lisa
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1
Top 30 Poster
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1 |
Travis, I know you have something similar in England but i can't remember the name of it - cream cheese anyway - heart attack on a plate. The best recipe is melted Velveeta with a can of Rotel http://www.ro-tel.com/ mixed in as a dip with tortilla chips. So disgusting you can't stop eating it.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 |
I know the stuff Colin,peel off the foil wrapping eat it and throw the cheese away lol Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
|
OP
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Hi Travis,
Lucky you, having to Google it, but I see that Colin's right and you do have a version over there! Yes, eat the foil and toss the cheese -- a GREAT strategy!
Your wife's gravy sounds good to me -- I like a nice, thick, hearty gravy!!
Regarding Calvin...he's always welcome to any second-rate cheesy idea I have, although I always try to save my first-rate cheesy ones for him! Laughing...
Thanks for your fun visits!
Lisa
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
|
OP
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Hi Colin,
Okay, I'm looking at that dip photo. I don't like dip that looks like that, but I can still see how it could be enjoyed.
NOW imagine this...instead of those nice little bits of green chilies and tomatoes....imagine large, weird stalks of broccoli all wet and limp, floating stagnantly around in there...and NO chips or bread to go along with it...
...before long, you'd be envying Travis his cream cheese foil! LOL!!
Lisa
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 924
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 924 |
Nicely done Lisa. I got a kick out of this one. Kudos......Is there really a shortage on Velveeta Cheese? I love that stuff. It's great for homemade Mac and cheese.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 3,005
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 3,005 |
Hi Lisa,
Ho Ho Ho
Miss Ellipses Dot dot dot Thanks for the memory Lest I forgot
About your cheesy song . . .
There was a song by THE BAND on THE BASEMENT TAPES called Mrs. Henry . . . (now you've done it) that would be the perfect feel for velveeta . . . AND there's a line in it:
"I'm down on my knees . . . . and I ain't got a dime" It is the exact type of musical pause I mean.
So, "DOWN on my knees" might enhance the song musically and emphasize that key line.
If you use GROOVESHARK . . . type in The Basement Tapes Click on PLAY ALL Then below in the player, hit pause and select Mrs. Henry.
Cheerio, T
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
|
OP
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Hi James,
Hee hee -- THANKS! YES, there's really a shortage!
After several cheese dinners, I did admit to my friend that her soup was dreadful, and then other friends started chiming in. We had an intervention of sorts. So, the shortage doesn't really affect me anymore, but it was still fun to write about!
Better go stock up for your mac and cheese!!
Lisa
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
|
OP
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Hi Terry,
I listened to Mrs. Henry -- that was enjoyable! And I see what you mean about adding "down" so I've added it!
And, dot, dot, dot...
Thanks for sharing that and for your help!
Lisa
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 |
I'm going to mail you a slice of my wife's gravy.Ideal as a door stop, bookend or spare house brick Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Top 30 Poster
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712 |
Lisa, you have some original rhymes here: broccoli/ungodly, punchline/slime, stomachs/market, reprieve/sleeve. Never seen these before!
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,784
Posts1,161,568
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"Sometimes, the best thing you can say, isn't the easiest thing" -Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|