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True story -- ugh! Couldn't believe my good fortune when I read this headline today, and I had to write this!

Also, I changed "on my knees to "DOWN on my knees" per Terry's suggestion -- thanks, Terry!


Shortage of Velveeta Cheese

A friend of mine likes to make me cheese soup
Big blob of Velveeta stirred into frozen broccoli
She serves it up with the spoon standing in it
Even Kraft should admit it's ungodly

First time I had it I swore it was a joke
Third time choking on it, I knew I was the punchline
Sometimes I dream of a bowl of tortillas
Even one chip to sop up the slime

CHORUS
Hooray, Hooray!
I read it in the paper today
There's a shortage of Velveeta Cheese
I'm DOWN on my knees...praying it stays that way

Turns out that kind of cheese doesn't grow on trees
And unlike disease people want it in their stomachs
It's manufactured entirely on purpose
Lately there's been a run on the market

CHORUS
Hooray, Hooray!
I read it in the paper today
There's a shortage of Velveeta Cheese
I'm DOWN on my knees...praying it stays that way

BRIDGE
Lucky for me I'm getting a short reprieve
Hope she doesn't have a can of Whiz up her sleeve

CHORUS
Hooray, Hooray!
I read it in the paper today
There's a shortage of Velveeta Cheese
I'm DOWN on my knees...praying it stays that way

(c) 2013, Lisa Gundling

Love the Chorus!


CHORUS
Hooray, Hooray!
I read it in the paper today
There's a shortage of Velveeta Cheese
I'm on my knees . . . praying it stays that way

The last line makes me laugh. Musically I would separate knees and praying.

Very well done Lisa. Have to admit though I use to love Velveeta. My mom would buy it. Don't eat it any longer.

douglas

I had to do a Google Lisa, never heard of it! Although I love cheese in particularly Cheddar and Cheshire.Another off the wall one!
Frozen broccoli as well your friend seems as bad at cooking as my wife.She makes gravy the kind that doesn't move around and tells me that's the goodness in it! I tell her no, it's the half pound of flour you put in it.
Another one for a Calvin collab?
Travis

Hi Terry,

Okay, I've added the ellipses, but now I feel like Kaley Willow -- LOL! I'm so glad you enjoyed it...THANKS!

Lisa

Hi Douglas,

I turned on the radio this morning and two DJs were having a lively, heated debate about the shortage of Velveeta cheese. One, like you, was remembering it fondly from childhood!

I think that I'm in the minority, but even people who like Velveeta cheese can barely choke down her soup. It should be served as a dip, with tortilla chips or, at least, bread. She serves that course with nothing but the "soup."

Thanks for stopping by!
Lisa

Travis, I know you have something similar in England but i can't remember the name of it - cream cheese anyway - heart attack on a plate.

The best recipe is melted Velveeta with a can of Rotel http://www.ro-tel.com/ mixed in as a dip with tortilla chips. So disgusting you can't stop eating it.

I know the stuff Colin,peel off the foil wrapping eat it and throw the cheese away lol
Travis

Hi Travis,

Lucky you, having to Google it, but I see that Colin's right and you do have a version over there! Yes, eat the foil and toss the cheese -- a GREAT strategy!

Your wife's gravy sounds good to me -- I like a nice, thick, hearty gravy!!

Regarding Calvin...he's always welcome to any second-rate cheesy idea I have, although I always try to save my first-rate cheesy ones for him! Laughing...

Thanks for your fun visits!

Lisa

Hi Colin,

Okay, I'm looking at that dip photo. I don't like dip that looks like that, but I can still see how it could be enjoyed.

NOW imagine this...instead of those nice little bits of green chilies and tomatoes....imagine large, weird stalks of broccoli all wet and limp, floating stagnantly around in there...and NO chips or bread to go along with it...

...before long, you'd be envying Travis his cream cheese foil! LOL!!

Lisa

Nicely done Lisa. I got a kick out of this one. Kudos......Is there really a shortage on Velveeta Cheese? I love that stuff. It's great for homemade Mac and cheese.

Hi Lisa,

Ho Ho Ho

Miss Ellipses
Dot dot dot
Thanks for the memory
Lest I forgot

About your cheesy song . . .

There was a song by THE BAND on THE BASEMENT TAPES
called Mrs. Henry . . . (now you've done it) that would be the perfect feel for
velveeta . . . AND
there's a line in it:

"I'm down on my knees . . . . and I ain't got a dime"
It is the exact type of musical pause I mean.

So, "DOWN on my knees" might enhance the song musically and emphasize that key line.

If you use GROOVESHARK . . . type in The Basement Tapes
Click on PLAY ALL
Then below in the player, hit pause and select Mrs. Henry.

Cheerio,
T

Hi James,

Hee hee -- THANKS! YES, there's really a shortage!

After several cheese dinners, I did admit to my friend that her soup was dreadful, and then other friends started chiming in. We had an intervention of sorts. So, the shortage doesn't really affect me anymore, but it was still fun to write about!

Better go stock up for your mac and cheese!!

Lisa

Hi Terry,

I listened to Mrs. Henry -- that was enjoyable! And I see what you mean about adding "down" so I've added it!

And, dot, dot, dot...

Thanks for sharing that and for your help!

Lisa

I'm going to mail you a slice of my wife's gravy.Ideal as a door stop, bookend or spare house brick
Travis

Lisa, you have some original rhymes here: broccoli/ungodly, punchline/slime, stomachs/market, reprieve/sleeve. Never seen these before!