JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 'NEW SONG CHALLENGE" -- all good things come to those who wait!

Bonjour, yann!

I LOVE to see someone trying a challenge for the first time. As you've likely read, it's simply a fun vehicle for stretching your imagination in a direction you might not have otherwise...and ultimately, to get your juices flowing!

As to your song....cool! It's very image-driven...so it would be interesting to hear it with music. And I like how you've taken the hook and set it up by questioning it. Sort of coming in by way of the back door.

While the verses are long (and individual lines could probably be tightened up), I'm not so sure the language in the chorus matches their drama and eloquence. It may very well be a cultural difference though -- I hear "oversized"..... I think "supersized" .... I think McDonald's!!

Otherwise, I fine first-outing. Thank you so much for playing!

BTW, don't even try to compare your rate-of-composition with some of these folks'...While it takes me, for instance, ages to get a song to where I like it enough to post it, there are boys and girls here who can crank 'em out in ten minutes flat. Luckily, this isn't a race, so take your time and enjoy the process.

Cheers,
Beth