Short Lines, sustained notes. A strange, esoteric Melody.
I write whatever kind of Song comes to me, if I feel the bits I begin with have merit.
I often see long Lines of Lyric, and the singer sustaining long Notes at the end. The sustain often obscures the word meaning, enunciating it in an unnatural way, obscuring that all-important Rhyme-Word meaning.
I'm having to study this one to learn the Prosody. Just what beat in the bar do I begin on to land on the right beats following it? How long should I sustain Notes, and which ones; Notes in the middle of the Line? At the end? I think this is what keeps Song-Writing an unparalleled entertainment for me.

F X33211
Am XO221O
G 32OOO3

"When You Come Between (Me And The Moon)"
Copyright September 4, 2021 by Gary E. Andrews.
All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

(Verse I)
When You Come Between,
Me And The Moon,
your sil-hou-ette,
darkens the room.
I never felt this way!
I don't know what to say!
I've never been in love before.

(Verse II)
When you whis-per near,
I hear the tune,
play in my ear.
I smell your perfume!
How have we come this far?
I don't know where we are!
I've never been in love before.

(Bridge)
How has our his-to-ry,
become a mys-te-ry?
You never did this to me before.

(Verse III)
When You Come Between,
Me And The Moon,
your sil-hou-ette,
darkens the room.
Have I become bewitched?
Have poison cups been switched?
I've never been in love before.

How has our his-to-ry,
become a mys-te-ry?
You never did this to me before.

(Coda)
When You Come Between,
Me And The Moon,

As the Song-Writer YOU are the first listener. The first bits should 'hook' your interest. The 'Hook Factor' in the Introductory Movement serves that function, getting your attention at least long enough to get to the first Musical Movement of a Verse. Or it may get you to a Chorus. Some Songs open with a Chorus, to good effect.
In this one the Lyric hooked me, the first listener. In Verse I Line 1 I create a 'you' Character. I don't know who she is yet. She may be a Love-Interest Character. The Singer-Character, the 'me' Character, is in that first Line too.
"When you come between, me and the moon, your silhouette, darkens the room."
I've created two Characters, and set them in a 'reality' where there is a Moon for her to be silhouetted by, in the doorway of a room. The doorway isn't specified, just implied. She could be silhouetted by a window. The listener's imagination will perhaps decide.
The Singer-Character then expresses a bit of bewilderment at what he's experiencing.
"I never felt this way. I don't know what to say. I've never been in love before."
The Melody ends on a mysterious Note, not a downward resolving Note, but a lingering, higher pitch, as if this 'being in love' is perhaps a bit scary for him.
Simply playing on those patterns of Melody, Repeating Verse I Melody for Verse II, with more non-specificity in the Lyric, I went on to compose the rest of the Song. The Bridge was originally the second component of Verse II, but I found other Lines and moved things around in a quick edit during the writing. I've only re-written Verse II;
(Verse II)
When you whis-per near,
I hear the tune,
play in my ear.
to read,
(Verse II)
When you whis-per near,
I hear the tune.
It plays in my ear.
Playing it today, the next day after having written it fairly quickly, I'm a little forgetful of the Melody, the chord progression to accommodate it. I'm entertained enough to keep it, perhaps to study it more.

Last edited by Gary E. Andrews; 10/17/22 02:23 PM.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com