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Mcfortunato © 2011

V1
I am just where I am
Can’t climb out of this jam,
I long for sweet heaven pine
Leave my broken life behind,
Though I’m a sinful man,
My prayer is Your command,

Chorus
Out of the wreck I rise
Out of the wreck I rise
You set me apart from things
That ruin me,
Out of the wreck I rise
You help me to get wise,
Soon I’ll be home free
Out of the wreck I rise

V2
It is just what it is
Seems my worlds gone amiss,
Evil plays on my fears
As sirens rattle my ears,
I’ll muster up my hope
Hold on to your love rope,

Chorus
Out of the wreck I rise
Out of the wreck I rise
You set me apart from things
That ruin me,
Out of the wreck I rise
You help me to get wise,
Soon I’ll be home free
Out of the wreck I rise

Bridge
Oh, I want to sing you
A great victory song,
March onto heavens lane
Right where I belong,

Chorus

Hello Mcfortunato,

Pros - This is a positive and uplifting piece. Love the hook "Out of the Wreck I Rise". It has power and literally sings itself. I think this would probably work pretty well with a solid melody. Not knowing your intention for this (personal performance, congregational singing) - I really don't know what you are looking for in a crit before taking this to the next level, but I will proceed with things I believe are holding this lyric back a bit.

Cons - for contemporary christian music, this is way too formal - and not conversational/personal enough in my opinion. I know you have eluded to battles and issues of the heart - but it would be hard for anyone to really relate to this except on a very superficial level. I've been down in the pits myself - I know the feeling - but you haven't really given me a peek into the story behind the song - namely you.

One thing I would really take a closer look at is your rhymes. Many of them are too predictable and a little on the worn side in contemporary christian music. Now, if you decide to rework the verses a bit, you might open yourself up to fresh visuals and in the process - fresher rhymes. That's where I'd start anyway.

The idea is there! The hook is a keeper! But I would take a look at giving this baby some roots that dig deeper.

Just my opinion of course . . . take a bit, or none.

~Bubbles

Thanks Bubbles,
I've already started working on verse 1,
aiming to make it more personal,
'Michael

Can't wait to see what you do with it!

~B

Don't know that I totally agree with Bubbling Soul on this one. I think it is a multiple subject piece of rising from despair, and could have been over a broken heart, substance addiction, anything. I have pretty much been in the pits myself for the past two years following a job loss I believe was caused by some witch hunt. Haven't been able to get the record set straight on that, and later this month it will have been two years. This piece can apply to that type of situation as well, IMO. Am now in the process of finding a new approach to an old problem that could restore confidence.

Peace,
Brian

a gospel song ?

Don't believe this is strictly a gospel song, but could possibly qualify as such. Not everyting about trying to rise above adversity has religious overtones. This one leaves the reader/listener to give interpretation. Subject obviously is confronting confusing trends.

Peace,
Brian

Hi McFort,

I agree with Bubbles this is a great title and hook, it reeled me in. I also agree with making it more personal, show us where you are, where you're stuck and what went amiss. Once you do that I think you will have a very good song.

Best of luck with this

Dottie

Hi, yes this is a gospel song....here's a revised copy,
thanks, Michael

This piece looks promising if it can be paired with the right modern-day Christian type singer. Inspiration for one feeling out of sorts.

Peace,
Brian