JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum REWORK: Bottle Whatcha Got (Rob L and KimberlyInNC Collab)

Kim and I reworked this one based on the great feedback from the first time we posted it. We would be thankful for anyone who's willing to (re)listen and let us know your thoughts. The original version/post is below this one if you want to compare.

Thanks in advance



Bottle Whatcha Got[/b] (And Sell It) - REVISED
(c)2009 Kimberly Hales-Kime and Rob Lewczyk

You're the bomb, it's clear
Everybody in the club wanna cheer
You're a dime piece, and stuntin'
Now don't start your frontin'
Rock your moves all night long
Make me wanna dance 'til dawn
I'm gonna 'head and tell it
You oughta bottle whatcha got and sell it

CHORUS:
Bottle whatcha got
Bottle whatcha got
Baby, whatcha got is so damn hot
Sex appeal, I'll tell it
You oughta bottle whatcha got and sell it

Girl you're so hot and spicy
The females' glares go icy
They're all hatin' I ain't jokin'
Like a chimney, you're smokin'
Shawty you're makin' me stare
Come on, let's bounce somewhere
I'm gonna 'head and tell it
You oughta bottle whatcha got and sell it

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
Don't stop now, keep it goin'
A body like yours is made for showin'
Bump and grind it a little longer
My desire's growin' stronger

CHORUS

Sell it, baby, sell it
I like it, girl, I likey
I'll buy it, yeah, I'll buy it
Shake it, honey, I'll take it
I wanna fill you girl, bottom to top
Why don't you bottle whatcha got

CHORUS

[ORIGINAL POST]

Hi everyone,

I'll refrain from making any preliminary comments that might pre-color someone's opinion. Kimberly asked if I'd be interested in trying to write some hip-hop/dance music to a lyric she had penned. Here is the result.

All comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated. We know it still needs work.

Yo

Rob

[b]Bottle Whatcha Got - Old
(c)2008 Kimberly Hales Kime and Rob Lewczyk

You're da bomb, it's clear
Everybody in the club wanna cheer
You're a dime piece, and stuntin'
I can see you're frontin'
Sexy moves goin' strong
Make us all wanna dance 'til dawn
I'll go ahead and tell it
You oughta bottle that stuff and sell it

CHORUS:
Bottle whatcha got
Bottle whatcha got
Baby, whatcha got is so damn hot
Sex appeal, I'm gonna tell it
You oughta bottle that stuff and sell it

Girl you're so hot and spicy
Makin' the stares from the females icy
They're hatin' cause you're smokin'
Like a chimney, girl, you're smokin'
Shawty I done hit the jackpot
You could bottle whatcha got

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
Don't stop now, keep it goin'
A body like that is made for showin'
Bump and grind it a little longer
Desire for you's gettin' stronger

CHORUS

Sell it, baby, sell it
I like it, girl, I like it
I'll buy it, baby, I'll buy it
Shake it, honey, I'll take it
I'm lovin' watchin' 'cause of whatcha got, girl
Come on and bottle whatcha got

CHORUS

Hi Rob & Kim,

Good recording.
Hot lyrics.

Nice job guys !

Calvin

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Rob and Kimberly nice tune and lyrics. I think it worked very well. Catchy tune, very memorable. I myself would not have had a clue how to write a hip hop type of thing but you pulled it very nicely. Marvin.

Hey Kimberly & Rob,

This is, um, "off the chain"!! ( )

Really, some hot stuff going on here. I even found myself tapping my broken foot to the pulsating beat!!

I like how Rob sort of "synthesized" his voice. I'm sure that's not the right term, but it sounds sort of nasally/robotic, which is a good thing (I'm just not explaining myself well -- no coffee yet!).

And the lyrics SELL SELL SELL, which is perfect, given the hook!!

Had a couple of teensy nits, no biggies, but thought I'd toss them out there...

You're a dime piece, and stuntin' --
Since I'm not familiar with these terms, I didn't know if I mis-heard them, or if they were distorted a bit. If this is common hip-hop vernacular, I guess it wouldn't be a problem

I'll go ahead and tell it --
The first half of this sounded garbled to me. And since it's an important set-up line, I'd probably want to clean that up some.

They're hatin' cause you're smokin'
Like a chimney, girl, you're smokin'
Love these images...Reminds me of EW&F's "Brick House". Anyway, I wasn't sure why you used "smokin'" twice. Maybe if you changed it to something as simple as this:
They're hatin' , I AIN'T JOKIN'
Like a chimney, girl, you're smokin'

Finally, I thought the intro could be shortened a wee bit. Not being overly familiar with the genre, though, this build-up to the lyrics might be typical.

Otherwise, I think this is really terrific! And it appears we have ANOTHER dynamic duo on our hands!

Congrats, and good luck with it,
Beth

Hi Rob,

Well, this is different for you. Cool stretch creatively. Definitely a toe tapper. Since I am not familiar with this genre I can't say if it's successful as hip hop but the rhythm and beat make it a dance tune, for sure. The cool hook is supported very well with the spicy lyrics. Well done.

Ricki

Beth I am so glad you liked this. I will keep that change about smokin' in mind..thats a good idea!
I am glad you like the electronic voice. did you listen all the way thru, the last verse is really all electronic and I am pleased with how that turned out.
We were not sure about the feel of the music, Rob was not sure about his ability to sing it, I had and still have faith in him, and though it is different than standard hip hop, I like it. I just want to tighten it up to get it the best we can.
as far as the word meanings
Frontin' means, putting on airs, acting like a certain way, hiding the real you, joking, etc..
stuntin- means putting out your best, looking good
dimepiece -n.-same meaning as dime, i.e., a very attractive woman, a ten on a one-to-ten scale.
I hope this helps. Thanks for your kind words and I am sure Rob will be pleased.
I have had this song for a good while, got the idea after a live show, saw a young man, could be my son, could dance like Michael Jackson and sing like Otis redding and CUTE. I told him after the show, Boy, you could bottle what you got and sell it, he looked at me and said, Is that a good thing, ma'm ? I said, yes!! Maybe he is too young. But I hope people can tell when listening what it means if they have not heard the expression before. Thanks again! Kim

Hello Ricki- I am sure you will hear from Rob too. I am glad you liked the lyrics, as I wrote them, and Rob was kind enough to put music and a voice to it. He has been great to work with, very patient. Thanks for listening and commenting. Kimberlyinnc

Marvin- wow, thanks for the nice comment on the song. We are trying to get opinions before tweaking things. thanks again- Kimberlyinnc

Calvin- Thanks for stopping by and taking a listen. I am happy that you liked it, it means a lot from someone so talented. Kimberlyinnc

Kimberly and Rob,
Here's my two cents. I like your concept here and your lyrics are appropriate for this genre, but I would use a little more slang ( bad pronuncuation.. like da club.. rather than the club, <just an example> etc.)

and maybe consider tying some multisyllable rhymes on some of the EMPHASIZED lines.. as in:

Girl you're so hot and spicy
Makin' the stares from the females icy
(the stares from females GOT ICY)

They're hatin' cause you're smokin'
Like a chimney, girl, you're smokin'

maybe
get WIT' ME girl you're smokin
(to rhyme with Chimney)
Like a chimney, girl, you're smokin'

Surely I done hit the jackpot
You could bottle whatcha got

Musta done hit the jackpot
( GONNA GIT a bottle o' what yo a*ss got)
<to rhyme with DONE HIT, and jack pot>

or maybe not, just suggestions ya know

another common tool to PUMP UP the emphasis is to double or tripple the vocal track while muting the background track or inserting a musical REST, at the points of emphasis on the lyrics..

basicly just some way of emphasizing the stressed syllables..( I think this could work as is with a little tweaking in the mix) and maybe take some of the effect OFF the vocal.. also PUMP UP THE BASS.. TO ME, it is a little treble heavy in the mix for a club song.

I could totally hear this piece with a few tweaks and changes being played in clubs.

nice work

Rob and Kim, this is great! I love the title/hook, a clever concept. I'm not normally a lover of hip hop music, but there's no denying this is a real toe tapper! A very infectious tune indeed. You both done good!

Greg

Kim and Rob..
check out this song, as a good example of club mix hip hop.. your song reminds me of this artists music (no offense meant!) ... try to make it to the chorus.. the song is silly, but most of 'em are.. (the actual SONG starts 40 seconds into the video..)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tjq3FdNDHM



the bass in this mix is actually pretty thin also, and the vocals are all single tracked with an effect, even on the emphasized syllables, SO... take everything I said before with a grain of salt.

I'm staring to like pop again....lol! You guys will have a very cool song when you're done. I couldn't hear the whole song, but what I did hear, I do like!! I'll come back and try to listen again, but for now, I'm lovin it!

Well, Kim ,it is hot,you have great lyrics and I love it..you both should be proud...reminds me of my older daughters when they were in their 20's , of course their still hot. anyway, this is very well written and delivered....lots of luck with it..glyn

Hi Kim. Very well done. Guess ya don't need me after all. Keep writing.

Douglas

Kenneth, this is just what I need, ideas to spice it up but I dont want to get too dirty. It is just not in me to feel good if I were to make money on something that is vulgar, but I can push the envelope a bit more. thank you for your advice and I am sure you will hear from Rob- Kim

That is a riot. I watched it. :0 do the Jane Fonda...lol. Kim

Hey Kimberly,

If you want a really good indicator TO ME about this one.. I got out of the shower earlier, and it ws "stuck in my head" I was singing it in the shower.. THAT is all the proof I need!!!

good job, I can't wait to see whrere this one goes!!

Hi Calvin,

Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment. I'm glad you enjoyed the recording, and yes, Kim's lyrics certainly are smokin'

Marvin,

I'm tickled you enjoyed the song. I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into , so I'm glad you think it worked.

Ms. Beth,

It's always a pleasure to read your posts. Thanks for stopping in to listen. I'm delighted that you liked the song, but I hope it didn't contribute to any additional foot damage. Thanks for the specific thoughts and suggestions. Kim definitely hit on something with this hook for sure. I just hope my music did it justice.

Howdy Ricki,

Yes indeed, quite a stretch for me compared to what I'd done previously (or at least what I've posted at JPF to date). Kim actually found a couple of songs on my web page which made her think I could pull this off. I'm still not sure that I did (especially vocally), but it's nice to hear the positive comments so far.

PS What's up with the smirking animal avatars? Hey! That could be a good name for a band. (The frog is my favorite to so far)

What did you call me?

Kenneth -

Thanks a ton for your in depth reply! I really appreciate your interest and thoughts. I'll let Kim work out the lyrical aspects and focus on a couple of things you suggested musically.

First, I'm simply appreciative that you felt my vocals weren't totally off base. I hear what you're saying about, as Wendy D put it when she heard an early version, "sounding a little less educated." Not to imply that I'm any kind of intellectual, but it's sort of like playing a role to sing in a slangy way for me, and I don't feel very comfortable doing it. Generally, it took me a few cocktails to even get to this point. I'll work on it though for the next version.

Do you have any songs you could point me towards which use the affects (or lack of) to emphasize words and phrases? My musical 'hip-hop/dance' library is pretty limited (eminem and Black Eyed Peas primarily).

I LOVE that Mickey Avalon song!! Thanks for telling us to have a listen. I promptly went to grab it off of iTunes. Awesome. I definitely take it as a compliment if you think this song resembles it in any way. When writing it, I was trying for a couple of real 'hooky' musical riffs to help make it as memorable as possible... and distract people from my vocals.

Your comments about thinking it could be played in clubs, and that you were singing it in the shower are incredibly gratifying. Thanks! Kim's hook was definitely a great starting point.

Rob.. I totally hear ya on the education in your pronunciation.. don't sweat it, just stay true to you and let it rip! as far as examples of emphasis the easiest one i can think of is anything by the beastie boys (different style hip hop, but they always ALL sing the emphasized words to give it weight in the mix.. check out this video..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT8YUB1Ym0A

the music doesn't even start until a couple of minutes in, but the way they emphasize the rhyme is standard old school hip hop..

this one is a little more DANCE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcnTxcqcNEE&feature=related

it takes about 1:20 to get to the verse, but listen to the triple voiced emphasis..

this one is NOT dance, but it is good hip-hop, with a good example of how the emphasis is PUMPED UP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMd4XY8XSyM

if you listen really closely to the mix you can hear the extra depth in the rhymed words.. also the pronuciation itself emphasizes the stressed syllables.. it gives it a little more head bob and movement..

these may NOT be the best examples I will try to think of more, in the last one it is an example of REALLY subtle emphasis,. the others are pretty over the top... I will find a more COMMON style and post it here later ...
..

Also MOST club mixes use EXTRA bass on the bass drum and maybe the bass line itself.. think those annoying cars that you hear coming from blocks away... not that it sounds good that way anywhere else, but on a club sound system, it "bumps" which makes it danceable even for deaf people!

Greg,

I'm glad you liked our song. Thanks for listening and commenting. We'll definitely take "infectious toe-tapper!"


Caroline,

I'm happy that you liked what you've heard so far. Definitely come back and let us know if you have any additional thoughts or suggestions if you get a chance to listen to the whole song. Thanks for commenting.


Glynda,

Thank you for stopping in to listen and comment. I'm glad you liked what you heard. My 'daughter' is a 9-year old chow mix...



...and there's no way I'd ever let her go out to a club!


Douglas,

Thanks for listening! I'm glad you liked it.

Hey Rob,

Here is one more example of the emphasis being pumped up with additional tracks.. this one is much LESS subtle.. this again isn't necessarily CLUB MIX hip hop, but it is a decent example..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDDbMraIbK0

also:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWhdxBjyO3I&feature=related

the actual example doesn't start until about 30 seconds in..
BUT listen for the doubled tracks in the verse especially about 1:00 in

I hope these are good examples of what I am talking about..and good luck. I can't wait to see where this goes, I think it has definite potential...

Hi Rob and Kimberlynn,

Nice to meet you.

I think this song is great, and has a great commercial appeal. I can see my two dauhters running to the dance floor now. Reminds me of the time I went out with my oldest daughter and she forced me on the dancefloor before I knew what song was even coming, and I was out there trying to hold my own on My Milkshake lol. Don't think I will live that one down, lol.

Anyway, I think you have a winner here,

Letha

Hi Kenneth -

Again, I really appreciate you investing your time in helping us to make this one better. We'll do our best.

Yes, your examples definitely helped me understand what you're talking about, and they've given me some vocal/production ideas for the next version. I'll likely even use them as a study guide/inspirational fodder before I do the next take. Cool.

I actually bumped up the bass quite a bit from v1 to v2 at Kim's suggestion. I'm sure it's not at club level, but it's pretty thumpy on my computer speakers (although I do have sub woofer). I wrorry if I jack it up any more, like you say, it'll become unlistenable anywhere else. But I'll play with it a bit.

Lastly, because you've been so kind to take an active interest in this one, I wanted to call your attention to something I did that's obviously too subtle. In the bridge, the piano riff is actually the first line of the melody for "100 Bottles of Beer." I thought it'd be fun to work it in and see if anyone caught it. Guess not... but I don't really see a way to make it more prominent without losing the overall mix. Just a silly FYI.

Once again, thanks for all of your help and input. Both Kim and I appreciate it!

Hi Rob,

I just had to add a comment to this cool idea. The music and lyrics are great. The vocals don't seem to fit as well .. maybe getting a hot chick or some rapper dude to sing it would Pump up the Jam a little more.

I like it,
PapaG

Hi Rob,

I just had to add a comment to this cool idea. The music and lyrics are great. The vocals don't seem to fit as well .. maybe getting a hot chick or some rapper dude to sing it would Pump up the Jam a little more.

I like it,
PapaG

I am glad you liked it papa. Rob is not used to singing hip hop and we do plan to pump it up some with more beat, and tweak the lyrics. Thanks for listening and commenting. Kim

I have to admit that I didn't catch it, but that is cool!!! I am ashamed that i missed it, normally I catch that sort of thing, but it went right by me....

cool idea though, and that kinda stuff ALWAYS adds to the lighthearted appeal!! "99 bottles of WHAT U GOT on the wall!!! "

Hi Rob and Kimberly,

I love phrygian mode scales (you know, e f g a b c d e) in songs, don't hear 'em much in the states, though there were quite a few on a Madonna album that came out about ten years ago.

This is very appealing, I could hear this given the full shebang in the studio with Tricky or any number of DJs or singers...

Love your version too, Rob, you kept the sound REEEAAAAL clean, everything clearly defined. Your version IS the template...

Catchy, hooky, congrats to Kimberly and Rob, now SELL IT, baby, SELL IT!!!!

--Mike

Hi Letha -

Thanks for stopping in to listen and let us know what you thought about the song. I'm excited that you liked it. I hear ya on the dance floor nightmare stories. I've definitely had a few myself.

Papa G,

Thanks for checking out our song. Personally, I'm right with you in regards to my vocals. Honestly, there's no way I would ever be the performer for this song, so all I'm really trying to do is get across, to the best of my musical and production ability, how it might sound when done by an artist with full blown production. I'm glad you liked the song, and thanks for your honest thoughts.

Kenneth ... LOL... love it!

Mike -

I'm going to start thinking that we might have something if we keep getting such kind reviews. Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it, but I'm even more excited that you described what a phrygian mode scale was! I would have been clueless otherwise.

Yes, it definitely needs "the full shebang" as you described it. But I'm glad you liked my home-spun version as well. Kim's lyrics certainly got my mind working. Thanks again.

Rob and Kim: it so damn hooky!! I like your phrasing and the sorta arabic(?) theme threading through it.
Very exotic.

I'm down wit it
Good luck wit it

Paul

Rob and Kim: this isn't the type of song I'd listen to at home, but when I was younger and was on the stalk in a nightclub at 4 in morning, this is the perfect song to go "hunting" to :-)

Lucian

Paul.. so you are down wit it. That is good to know. thanks for listening. You are a cool one. Kim

Lucian, what kind of hunting? coon? squirrel? haha. Thanks and I am glad you like it. We are working on tweaking the music, and the lyrics, so when we post again, let us know what you think. thanks again. Kim

Yo Paul -

Hooky is definitely what I was going for. Kim's lyrics certainly do a lot of the heavy lifting. I'm glad you think it works. Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment.

Hi Lucian -

I can relate. At this stage of my life, I'm about as far away from huntin' at clubs in the wee hours of the morning as a guy can get. But I'm glad you think the song could act as a soundtrack for those younger, more resilient souls. Thanks for your time.

Kim and I reworked this one based on the great feedback from the first time we posted it. We would be thankful for anyone who's willing to (re)listen and let us know your thoughts. The original version/post is below this one if you want to compare.

Thanks in advance



Bottle Whatcha Got[/b] (And Sell It) - REVISED
(c)2009 Kimberly Hales-Kime and Rob Lewczyk

You're the bomb, it's clear
Everybody in the club wanna cheer
You're a dime piece, and stuntin'
Now don't start your frontin'
Rock your moves all night long
Make me wanna dance 'til dawn
I'm gonna 'head and tell it
You oughta bottle whatcha got and sell it

CHORUS:
Bottle whatcha got
Bottle whatcha got
Baby, whatcha got is so damn hot
Sex appeal, I'll tell it
You oughta bottle whatcha got and sell it

Girl you're so hot and spicy
The females' glares go icy
They're all hatin' I ain't jokin'
Like a chimney, you're smokin'
Shawty you're makin' me stare
Come on, let's bounce somewhere
I'm gonna 'head and tell it
You oughta bottle whatcha got and sell it

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
Don't stop now, keep it goin'
A body like yours is made for showin'
Bump and grind it a little longer
My desire's growin' stronger

CHORUS

Sell it, baby, sell it
I like it, girl, I likey
I'll buy it, yeah, I'll buy it
Shake it, honey, I'll take it
I wanna fill you girl, bottom to top
Why don't you bottle whatcha got

CHORUS

[ORIGINAL POST]

Hi everyone,

I'll refrain from making any preliminary comments that might pre-color someone's opinion. Kimberly asked if I'd be interested in trying to write some hip-hop/dance music to a lyric she had penned. Here is the result.

All comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated. We know it still needs work.

Yo

Rob

[b]Bottle Whatcha Got - Old
(c)2008 Kimberly Hales Kime and Rob Lewczyk

You're da bomb, it's clear
Everybody in the club wanna cheer
You're a dime piece, and stuntin'
I can see you're frontin'
Sexy moves goin' strong
Make us all wanna dance 'til dawn
I'll go ahead and tell it
You oughta bottle that stuff and sell it

CHORUS:
Bottle whatcha got
Bottle whatcha got
Baby, whatcha got is so damn hot
Sex appeal, I'm gonna tell it
You oughta bottle that stuff and sell it

Girl you're so hot and spicy
Makin' the stares from the females icy
They're hatin' cause you're smokin'
Like a chimney, girl, you're smokin'
Shawty I done hit the jackpot
You could bottle whatcha got

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
Don't stop now, keep it goin'
A body like that is made for showin'
Bump and grind it a little longer
Desire for you's gettin' stronger

CHORUS

Sell it, baby, sell it
I like it, girl, I like it
I'll buy it, baby, I'll buy it
Shake it, honey, I'll take it
I'm lovin' watchin' 'cause of whatcha got, girl
Come on and bottle whatcha got

CHORUS

Hi Rob and Kimberly,

I'm up, just pitch correcting a vocal (very tedious) so this comes as fun relief!

First off...not having the old mix in front of me...I hear more bass (really kickin'...soundz great)and more FX on the vocals--like a phaser and maybe three or four echoes...pretty smokin' first listen...

Lyric-wise, I notice only improvements, like a repeat of the hook instead of "that stuff" in the tag line area of the verses.

I think "I tell it" vs. "I'm gonna tell it" is a coin toss..."I'm gonna tell it" is more true, since it's the next line..."I tell it" simplifies it to a present tense "testimony" ...coin toss...

Now here's a big improvement, you've "squared" the next verse when before it looks like 4 bars are missing, or there were instrumental gaps--either way, this version has sixteen bars of solid club talk; jackpot in the old was mediocre because the stress is on "jack" and the rhyme was only on "pot"...

I'm hearing a real cool vibrato on "so" in the chorus, Rob, you've chosen a good singing vs. rapping strategy, chorus vs. verses, this works great here...also I'm noticing some nice asides like "yeah yeah" panned hard left that I hadn't noticed before...very cool...

Now that bridge could be messed with more, though what you have is great--you could subdivide the beat one more time, ie add some 16th note percussion...or add something like a triangle or a conga...or mess around with the instrumentation ...I know this is just a demo, but in the lyric the excitement levels antes up to another level, and musically you go "up" harmonically too, so these are just suggestions to make the music a little more exciting in the bridge...I always think if you've got basic hip hop elements in there, "something strange" is always welcome--like those gregorian dudes--they were cliches for ten years after "Sade" by Enigma was a big hit...now I listen to the bridge again and you DO have a 16th note repeated note riff running through there...but imo you could show a little more "abandon" in the bridge...

I like the EQ effect on the vocal in 3/4ths of the last verse, and those "oh yeahs" again, are very sexy sounding...

Overall I hear big improvements...I'm getting the feeling that YOU could cut this, Rob, since self-production has come along so far, and your home set-up sounds like it's equipped with all the essentials. Your mastering tools sound top notch...

Anyway, that was a fun break from "mousing" spliced audio fragments in FL Studio, LOL...stay cool...

--Mike

Hi Rob & Kim,

Still hooky, still has a driving beat, I think it's going right where you want it to go. The original won't play for me so I can't compare them but this sounds really smooth and polished. You got it going on!

Ricki

Hey There Kim and Rob,

Well, it appears your winning song here cleans up nice too! I like the slight changes you've made in the lyric, the vocal is a bit more intelligible, and the music is still relentlessly PULSATING.

If I were young, healthy and at a nightclub where this was playing, I'd most certainly be gettin' down on the dance floor!!

So good work all the way around....

Dancing up a storm in her mind,
Beth

Hi Kim & Rob!
Listened to Your Latest Version..definitely Danceable!

Think "Ladies" gets more-mileage in Club-Jargon than "females", Lyrically....& "ladies' glares" sings a bit alliteratively, too.

"TONIGHT I done hit the jackpot" would replace "Surely"..which feels kinda like a Snobby Brit's doin' the narrating... ;-)>

Nice & jumpin' Overall...maybe ad-lib a bit on the way out..about how "You need a Warning Label...You're SO Habit-Forming..."

Good Luck with a Good One, Big Guy & Gal-Hugs to yas,
Stan

Rob----Just a quick note so you can change it, here and whereever...
Surely I done hit the jackpot--- supposed to be Shawty, I am not sure if you said it in the song recording right, it sounded right but the words are so similiar in sound. Kim:)

Hi Mike,

Once again, thanks so much for the thoughtful review and comments! They're very much appreciated. I'm glad you like the new version. You picked up on a lot of what we intentionally worked on (and some we just stumbled across! - which is how I work best ).

I agree with you on the bridge. I was looking for something to up the ante, so to speak, and nothing really came to me. Thanks again for those WAVs you sent. I've been playing with them a little, and they've also given me some other ideas. Totally cool of you to spend this time to do that!

Thanks also for the kind words on the home production. I owe it all to the software (used to use Mac's Garage Band, upgraded to Logic Express a few months ago).

Thanks again,

Rob

Hi Ricki -

Thanks for taking the time to listen once again. That's great that you think we took another step in the right direction. All the input from the boards has been very helpful. Not sure why the original's not working, but this link should take you to the SoundClick page where it lives (in case you ever have a hankerin' for a little classic BWYG. )

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7317797

Hiya Beth -

We very much appreciate you stopping in again to listen and give us your thoughts. I'm glad you like the changes we made. And... I think we also just gave you the hook for your next lyric - Dancing In My Mind.

Take care,

Rob

Hey Stan,

Thanks for taking the time to listen and chime in. I always appreciate your insights and opinions. I'll let Kim field the lyric comments/suggestions, but as she wrote, it should have been "shawty" not "surely" instead. Kim was nice enough to phonetically spell out some of the slang (e.g yer, da, etc.) so I tried to translate back to more standard speak when I typed the lyrics to post. Honestly, I'm not sure what "shawty" means. Maybe a vertically impaired person from Boston? I was relying on Kim for help there. Interesting thought on the ad-lib type comments as the song wraps up! Again, thanks for the input.