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http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6829340

A Heart That Won't Bend
© Roy Harris/Charles Kirkland 2008
Vocal: Charles Kirkland

I wasn’t there when you needed me
I never saw you’re pain
Too busy with all my friends
To hear you call my name
The love we had is in the past
Can’t get it back again
Cause once a heart gets broken
It’s a heart that won’t bend

Chorus
A broken heart won’t bend
It won’t give at all
It could be quite some time
Before it takes another fall
I can only blame myself
For the shape our love is in
I broke your heart
Now it’s a heart that won’t bend

You're the best thing to come my way
I never had a clue
While I was out having my fun
What you were going through
Looking back now I can see
The errors of my sin
I turned your heart as cold as stone
Now it’s a heart that won’t bend

Repeat chorus

Bridge
I can only hope and pray
I can win you back again
Can’t leave our love a memory
I’ve got to get your heart to bend

Repeat chorus

Tag
Oh baby bend your heart
Take a chance on our love again
______________

Hi Guys,

Thanks for giving us a chance to give our opinions of your song.

I think overall this song has a nice feel and flow to it.
I wish I knew more about the goals you have for the song.
I always find myself giving my opinions on what I think the “Commercial”
Potential is for the song, so if its not intended for that please sweep lol

Your lyric is pretty straight forward, says everything you wanted,
But I feel the first line of a song should start as strong as it can.
To grab the listener right away.

Maybe if you added some action to that first line…

I walked out when you needed me…
Or “turned” my back when you needed me…

Action can go a really long way in getting your point across effectively.

In the last two lines in the verse you “Give away”
The title/concept right before the chorus.
There is no rule against this and works well in other formats.

I just think it’s possible to “dilute” or overuse the heart/bend concept.
I would find a way to shorten the chorus or change the melody in it so it builds more.

I think the second verse should go into new territory, it seems like you have already said you’re the reason to blame in the first verse, so I would try to add something new to the story.

In the bridge you add a ray of hope which is good, because it leaves us a little hope.
It leads us in a new direction of possibilities.
Having said all this, I think this is a really good effort!
These of course are just my own personal thoughts, and I appreciate you sharing your song!- Happy Writing!-Dana

Dana, thanks for taking the time to offer up comments. We really appreciate it. Being fairly new to JPF, but not new to songwriting, I guess I never mentioned I once had goals of going commercial but it seems I can't get away from writing traditional country songs, which is my kind of music. And, as everybody knows, that kind of music has gone by the wayside in today's market. So, we just write for enjoyment, because that is what we do, but that still doesn't mean we don't try to give it our best effort. You make some valid points and I thank you for taking the time to comment on the song.

Hi Roy
I like this song! Lyrics are really good in my opinion and great melody. Enjoyed the listen. Steve
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=642220&content=music

This fits right into the more traditional country sound -- and I have to believe there is still a market for this (somewhere?). Nice, soothing delivery, vocals and playing.

"I never saw you’re pain" should be "I never saw your pain". Good comments from Dayson. Good luck with this one and keep having fun.

Kevin

Great feel. This is a wonderful song. Your voice works very well on this song. The melody is very fine and works with the lyrics. The lyrics seems simple - which is good - noting forced or compressed. Good pace to the song. Nice in every way.

Tom

Thanks again for your input. Yeah, we're still trying to find out where that "somewhere" is. I think it may be down at the end of the road somewhere between 1960-1980. Charles did the vocal on this. I think he has a great country voice. Also, thanks for pointing out the typo. Just an oversight on my part.

Hi Roy

It felt like the Real country kind of music to my ears. I think it's very well done. Could have come out of a time capsule from a ways back. I guess you need to keep doing what you do best. Even your name sounds country ! Best wishes jm

Overall a good song. It could be a great song, though, (IMO) if more mental images were used.
I usually don't care for the title in both the verse and the Chorus, since the verse is usually the "why" and the Chorus is the result, the "what"...but I know it CAN work, as some hit songs are evidence.

Also for more rhyme variety, you could change the rhyme scheme in the Chorus.

Nice,,,just maybe too many unpure rhymes?

Takes more work to have them pure and could show more of a pro work. (I don't have all my rhymes pure either),,,,so I'm just saying from the same experience of sometimes going for the quick easy sort of rhyme.

Best to have both meaning and pureness.
One day I'll start going over my tunes and see how many could use rewrites.

John

this song reminds me of country the older style like lee greenwood. that was my first impression when i heard it. nice lee greenwood is a great singer.

Thanks for all your comments. Yep, you nailed it. It's old style country. Or should I say country, the way country used to be. Probably not commerical but we do what we gotta do. lol.

A slight sibilance was noted on the lead vocal but other that that a great tune recognised, in a genre I don't really listen too.

Regards

Mark

Hello Roy,

Nice to meet you. I really liked the sound, traditional but modern enough that todays country artists could do it.
How bout Clint Black or Alan Jackson? I could hear it.

Nice song

Letha