JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Yesterdays Basement/with Norman Goodman (NEW MIX)

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=26932&content=music

Yesterdays Basement/Music Norman Goodman

the chimes were tingling tinkling tingling
ringing out halleluiah
i almost picked up
but thought better of it
i saw the hunchback
his earrings jingling
in the wind
saw his girlfriend
nit nit nit picking

yesterdays basement, windows cemented,
my view obscured by visions lamented,
demented be my days

and if i were to pray
put my hands together
scrape my knees
ask for feathered
forgiveness
if i were to say please
spare the blood
of those my words have
slain
would you grant me
stains of virtue
or would you
abandon me again

yesterdays basement, windows cemented,
my view obscured by visions lamented,
demented be my days

the pressure is endless
relentless
just to make do
have i not paid my dues
how many repentances
before i'm afforded a clue
derelict of responsibility
astounded by the emptiness
spin spin spinning
weightless
a captivating dizziness
could i be in love

yesterdays basement, windows cemented,
my view obscured by visions lamented,
demented be my days

© 2008 by rittmo'

There is some power in those lyrics. Rather sounds like an epic.

Tom

This one definitely challenged me. It's not what I typically have found to date on this board. However, I think I get what you were going for, and if I'm right, I would have enjoyed it a lot more if the production focus would have been on the words themselves, not on the music. In the current format, the music distracted me. Your lyrics require a lot of attention, so not only would I have preferred the vocals to be clearer and with better production, I would have liked to see the music scaled back a bit... either less frenetic energy, quieter, or possibly something that even worked to accentuate what was being said.

Very interesting, though. This is one I'm going to have to digest a while...

Thanks Tom and Rob

The bad production is all on me, first time using Audacity.

I'll record it again with the vocals more over the top, but Norman is a full time touring musician, and for the time being the music will remaon as it is, do to time constraints.

rittmo'

This track is SLAMMING! I love the interplay of the instruments and the arrangement.

I would make it an instrumental without a second thought. The lyrics and the sound of the lyrics and the placement of the lyrics are hurting this song in every regard.

If some of lyrics must be in there and spoken not sung then I would use that mellow breakdown section where you have the electric piano to do it over. Get to that section let it start kick the drum beat back in after 4 measures with a mellow groove of piano. then piano. bass and drums. Pull the lead guitar out for sure...

Do one verse or chorus whichever you choose, probably verse than KICK back in with the wailing guitar and go all out.... then drop back to that section later again. Just a different arrangement with a bit of a format. A little organized chaos lol....
Wonderful use of loops! And the guitar was wailing.... GREAT work

Lyrics and vocals don't match the music at all...sorry

Hi Rit,

"demented be my days" Pretty much says it all, and not in a bad way! Mike's idea was interesting. There are some really cool lyrics, but I think I like the music better without so many of them.

Ricki

I dunno - I liked the way the lyric and music worked together....they seemed a good fit to me...

I hear Jim Morrison doing this. Well, you know what I mean....

If the lyric was more out in front I think it might work better.

Never know what to expect from you, Ritt

Scott

Thanks All for your comments, from great advice to disillussionment, to actually liking it....well I redid it...see watcha think, here's the link (soundclick is down, so it's a SongRamp link)

http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/index.php?genre_id=37

I like the new mix. I applaud you efforts to break the mold. It may not be my cup of tea but that does not matter.


Tom

Sorry ...I don't like it...but you should not care what I think...JMO

Dang, this is a wild one! Got Tom Waits all over it (I am sure you have heard that before). I listened to the soundclick and songramp versions. The songramp version vocals are too hot. I guess you remixed versus a re-do. I didn't last long on the songramp version -- while the soundclick version kept my interest throughout.

This is an art piece and I like it for what it is -- but I would try one more time to re-record the vox and not just re-mix. You are JPF's eclectic one!

Kevin

Thanks Kevin

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=26932&content=music

songramp version has changed, new vocals, took off some gain, it's all in the same spot. think I'll upload it to soundclick with a 333 tag.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=26932&content=music

rittmo'

This mix sounds a lot better me... more of a balance between the vocals and the music. VERY interesting song.

Hi gang

glad the new mix works better for you!!!

rittmo'