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by Fdemetrio - 04/25/24 01:36 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/24/24 10:25 AM
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by Sunset Poet - 04/24/24 08:09 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/22/24 11:04 AM
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by Rob B. - 04/21/24 08:40 PM
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How Long Do Hearts Stay Broken ?
© JimKimisan music (ascap)Author: bob young
i thought i'd seen it all i was no stranger to the pain.. i'd played the game and lost a time or two
when the fires of love went out i'd gather all my wits about and get ready for the start of something new
so, it was no small surprise when the tears that filled my eyes seemed different from the ones i'd cried before
and all the things i used to do to ease the hurt, and see me thru.. well, it seemed they just weren't working any more
(chorus)
And I don't know what's been holding me together I really can't remember where I was just yesterday And I wonder if I'll be this way forever... HOW LONG DO HEARTS STAY BROKEN, any way ? How long do hearts stay broken?.......
if, indeed, time is a teacher maybe time can teach me how to understand this pain, and pay the cost..
for the lesson that i've learned from pages up till now unturned is that we really don't know love until it's lost !
(chorus..outro)
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jeeez......
I have been gone for a while...and I am a little pale..but...I didn't realize I had become invisible !
I better go try and eat some solid food..
bob
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Hi'ya Bob Young.
gone awhile? you mean you wasn't here? Heheh How are you Bob? I have a house in Nashville now. Gonna be a Piney Party this August. If you can make it we'd like to see you.
Ok. Now for this song. Well, as usual you have nailed it on rhyme, meter, structure, you know, all that rules stuff. Nice use of the hook. I am thinking Male singer because the line "I'd played the game and lost a time or two" seems more like something a guy would say. But...always a but ain't there. the who, what, where, why. I am missin' a couple. I'm not sure what has happened to cause this pain, did he/she leave, divorce, did he/she die?
You open saying he/she has played the game before, loved and lost But apparently it didn't hurt, why not? Because it seems to sure be hurtin' this time.
Then you close out the song saying you don't know love til it's lost. Well you said in the first lines that you did. So. What makes this time different? You don't give us any clue why this person that left was so special.
Now I know this all might sound a little silly but as I was reading this these are the things I was wondering. I don't like to wonder. I want you to show me what is going on.
Having said all that I kind of like this one.
Last edited by Bill Robinson; 05/05/08 10:59 AM.
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h bill..good to hear from you..i hope the move to nashville has been a good one...the fried catfish is reason enought to make me wish i lived there!
what we got here is a guy who thought he knew what love was about till now..for me the important thing is not why love is gone..just the fact that it's hurting him so bad...every time he fell out of love before he just got back up on the horse....not this time..
anyway.....
i'm working on a music track for this..maybe you'll like it better when it'a song...i dunno....
i'd sure like to get down there and see you guys in nashville.. it'd be fun to hang out with you and bobbie and mike dunbar..
take care of yourself, young man, and thanks for taking a look at these words.
bob
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Bob It's always a pleasure to see you. I still have the house in Michigan. I am hoping to be able to make the move permanent in the next year.
Ok. Add TRUE in there.... TRUE love 'til it's lost !
Yeah I know it's a minor little nit but I think it is a BIG difference.
Love to hear it. I see you posted a new one back in February. So you are still able to play...HA!
Last edited by Bill Robinson; 05/05/08 12:00 PM.
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Hey Bob
How are you feeling? Is that foot of yours still on your leg? When are we having guitar theory by Bob?
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hi, herbie..
yeah..they saved my foot again...i still can't dance , tho... dammit !
bob
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Bob you got a neat hook there. How long does it take to mend a broken heart. Not so much a question as a statement. The way I see it the guy has been burned once too many. No need to know the who what where or why. That is not what the song is about. I'd played the game and lost a time or two spells it out. All meters and rhymes well. Just need a good tune.
I cant dance either for what it is worth and I have two perfectly good left feet. LOL
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Hey Bob, this has a nice sentiment...this one was different, it cut him to the core and he's finally realized hey this one was real...with zippy music you could still get to the chorus at a decent count (12 lines of lyric would have to move along fairly quickly)but they seem like lines that would roll off the tongue fairly well...the info in your last verse seems like info for a bridge to me,which if you're zippin' along you probably have time for...so, i think i would have arranged this slightly different, that said, i like what You have, the hook itself has hit potential...good luck with it...moker
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Bob(not so)Young!!
Nice to see you. Haven't been around much lately, and to see you here puts a smile on my face. Hope you're well
Apart from the "expected", I really like the way the words "move" towards the new, more and lost rhymes....
Ciao
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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thanks, big jim...I think geezers like us are better off just watching young girls dance and letting it go at that !
bob
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hey moker..
it is a little slow getting to the "hook" (i just HATE that word)
I don't wrute this stuff to get a hit..I guess I'm just trying to satisfy myself..I dunno...the music for this is coming along nicely..I'm anxious to see how you feels about the sounds
by the way..the second set of six lines before the chorus and the last three lines before the chorus repeats are set to a different set of chords and melody..kind of a "pre chorus" I guess
thanks,.moker
bob
Last edited by Bob Young; 05/06/08 01:17 AM.
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ahhh, john..one of the good things about canada..
how is my favorite canuck barrister?
I think I'm gonna buy a seagull dreadnought in a coupl4e of weeks...hope you are well
bob
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Gee, YoungSter, this Lyric's Tighter Than A Gnat's {Naughty Word Removed} heh-heh!~
"KUDOS" & Great to See Ya Back, Amigo!
Seems to Sing-Itself as I read tonight...tho my Ancient & Addlepated Mind wants to Repeat "Anyways" in Last Chorus Line.
A Sure Sign I'm gettin' Older/You're Gettin' Younger..heh-heh!
Good Luck with this Good'n'..& Everything Else, Amigo!
Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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well, mr Good....hello again!
It's nice to see you are still at it, junior. I was a mess for a while..the docs got together and glued me here and sewed me there and VIOLA !..I'm up and running...
Honestly, I feel really good..back to work this weekend..just finished a commercial project, and just feeling stronger in general.
I've been swapping e mails with the gorgeous Ms Gallup and she sounds better too....
Maybe there's hope for all of us :mature" folks.
I'm gonna start work on recording the music for this lyric today (in between jolts from my pacemaker and bowls of oatmeal)..
Hell...I'm gonna put down my cane, kick off this therapeutic shoe, unhook the IV, undo the backbrace and do the watusi, the stroll, AND the funky chicken! I'd do the twist, but with this peg-leg I might screw myself into the ground.
Good to hear from you, Stan...good health to you and yours.
Bob (not so friggin') Young
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Bob - youth starts in your heart. You'll forever be Young.
Lyrically, I can't offer any insight. You nailed it, man. I can hardly wait to hear the music.
Good to see you again.
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that's real nice, Tom..
thank you..
good to see you, too
hope all is well..
i plan to get the music finished in a week or so..I hope you'll give us a listen.
I'm really happy about the way this one is turning out and I'm anxious to see how you and everybody else feels about it when it becomes a song
stay well, young man
bob
Last edited by Bob Young; 05/06/08 10:33 AM.
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just a quick personal note to all of you...
I so appreciate the warm welcome..I was laying around feeling sorry for myself for too long...you've reminded me of why I enjoy JPF so much..
I've gotten some nice e mails too, and thanks for those.
Thanks to Brian for keeping this place up and running.
Let's write some songs!
Bob
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thanks, big jim...I think geezers like us are better off just watching young girls dance and letting it go at that !
bob Hey Bob one of these days I'm gonna join you for a drink or two and we can talk about the old times and watch the pretty girls dance.
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c'mon over, jim
we'll go to a few places i know, toss a few back and listen to some good chicago blues..
i guarantee a good time!
bob
Last edited by Bob Young; 05/06/08 01:24 PM.
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Bob,
I see verse, verse, chorus, verse, chorus for structure here. Only nit would be that in the second verse you slightly alter the end line rhyme on the first line. The first and third verses use ABCDDC, but that middle one goes AABCCB instead.
BIg Jim's line about "Talking About the Old Times and Watching the Pretty Girls Dance" has hook possibilities in its own right.
Keep writing.
Skip
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well, skip...thanks...but..i never was much for formulas..i just put them together so they feel right to me..maybe that's why i haven't written any hits,,(chuckling)..
if you like big jims line, then for goodness' sake, turn off the computer and go write the song!
bob
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You know what is funny. My song Loan Me Your Heart.
The third line of the second verse was Will my broken heart mend? It is still on soundclick but the new version won't have it.
I changed it after being told it sounded sappy and who would say that, LOL. It's not exactly the same Well now I can say Bob Young says it is OK. Ha!
Last edited by Bill Robinson; 05/06/08 09:56 PM.
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Hi, Bob ( you handsome) young man... NICE lyric! Great to see you here once again..You have been missed! Can't wait to ehar the music to this one Emily
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first of all, bill..
the meaning is similar, but the words and context are very different..the sentiment has been expressed in thousands of songs..neither one of ue invented it ..we just borrowed it as others have for centuries
second..when people say something is "sappy", it's usually becsude they themselves are insecure and uomfortable with an overt display of genuine emotion..it's mainly felt here in the United States where our culture has been taken over by cynicism..listen to songs from Europe, Asia, and Latin America...no problem with "sappiness" there..
Third..the whole idea that lyrics need to be conversational" is a crock! "who would ever say that"..I would! especially if I was thinking something over in my own head like people do in many songs.. And how many guys ever really said "love me tender"..or "won't you wear my ring up around your neck"..or "oh, my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch, time goes by so slowly and time can do so much"... c'mon... a poet can write 5 pages about a single sunrise...some dopes would insist he say the sun came up" instead..as for me..I'll take the 5 pages
when it comes to songwriting only fools follow the rules! And you can quote me (or jason blume or whoever it was that first said it) on that one
Bob
Last edited by Bob Young; 05/07/08 07:23 AM.
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Can't wait to hear the music, Bob. The lyrics look fine to me. I've missed you.
Sis
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Hi Bob,
Nice sentiment here, But it needs a conclusion Bob it's left in the air
So it was no surprise verse is vague you dont say why the tears are different.
I think most of the pros say to break the rules without knowing them is foolish.
I think you need to look at the format, and you could say so much more Bob, if this is from experience, there must have been a lot more that you could share.
Love that title Bob welcome back , I only pop in now and then too much else to do.
Have been working at E.M.I. Hayes U.K. in many departments starting as Tea Boy and worked through to A and R, New Artist Management, Co Writing , with Boy Bands, and some solo acts I have always played in bands,
SPLIT LEVEL psuedonymn of course to many thieves and robbers on the web these days
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Very nice. Meter is perfect, which I expect from you! Hope you're well. Remember me?? ~~shelia
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Hope to hear this Bob Young style...real soon.... I think it's done up concise and tight too!!!...
I'm sorry to hear about all the "patching of parts"...but so glad you're printed words look so good!!!!....Great to see your name on the board....
very best.... Kaley
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