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Hi, folks. Well, it's been awhile since I've posted a steamy one and I thought it was time. I have no idea what kind of music would go with this. If anyone has any ideas, I'm all ears. Let me know what you think! Ricki Dangerous Mood ©2001. Erica Groshens The way those blue jeans fit Is almost more than I can take And the way you're moving in them Makes me tremble and ache Boy, this is a feeling I don't have to fake I'm in a dangerous mood I know I'm not supposed to be thinking ‘bout this But my thoughts keep wanderin' back To your touch and your kiss I should make myself stop But I can't resist I'm in a dangerous mood I wanna do things I know I shouldn't do They'd say I was bad, if anyone knew But it's hard to be good when I'm this close to you I'm in a dangerous mood I know I should go home and forget about tonight Stop thinking ‘bout the way That your body'd move with mine But I won't do the right thing Baby, not this time ‘Cause I'm in a dangerous mood
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Hi Ricki!
Hot Stuff A-Goin' On...
Like It All (Natch) except your Closing, where we get the Little Morality Lesson on the Way Out ("Guilt Trip".."Guilt Trip")...
TRY This Instead, OK?
.... But You make Me So HUNGY That I Can't Wait to Bite.. I'm In a Dangerous Mood!
(TAG) Baby, I'm Awaitin'/Anticipatin' Your Next Move... I'm in a Dangerous Mood!!
Think I'd just leave it At That...but See What Others Think!
"KUDOS" for a Supreme Sizzler, Big Hugs, Stan
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Stan: I'm confused. Are you saying you don't like my ending because it has a morality lesson, or because it doesn't? It sure wasn't meant to! This woman is in a dangerous mood and doesn't give a damn about the right thing. She's gonna do whatever she wants this time (lucky her ). So at first I thought you were saying you didn't like it cause it should be more moral. But you're ending doesn't exactly have her going home and fixing a cup of hot cocoa. Maybe you didn't like her thinking that she should go home? I don't know, so come back and tell me what you meant! And thanks for stopping by! Ricki
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Hi Again!
I'm saying the Original Ending lays a "Guilt Trip" on the Audience, which Kills some of the Enjoyment of the "Potential Goin's-On"...
Better you let the AUDIENCE make up their Minds re: "Good-or-Bad" what your Singer's about to Undertake.
I've also shifted "The Blame" (heh-heh) to the GUY...which I'm SURE you Ladies'll Approve of?
HOPIN' "You Owe Me One"...:-) Hig Hugs, Stan
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Hi Erica, Fun, spicey stuff. The only thing that bothered me was not the potential morality lesson in the end, cause you don't really say if it happens or not, but the fact that we're not let in on why it's not right for the two of them to be together. There's some obvious reasons, but it doesn't really allude to any of them. I think you can probably get by without mentioning the reasons it's taboo for he and you... cause it's only a song, but it was an itchy spot for me. Good writing otherwise. OH, and I might say in the first line (just to draw the listener in): The way your jeans DIDN'T fit.... Tink
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OK, now I get it Stan. Guess I just wanted her to be a bad girl. I'll have to rethink that. Thanks for coming back! Ricki
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Hi there, Tink! I kinda wanted to leave the "why" open for personal interpretation. There are certainly plenty of possibilities: she's married, he's married, she doesn't think she should be thinking this way about some guy she doesn't know just because he looks good in his jeans.... Ahhhh, the possibilities. Guess I'll have to see if it leaves anyone else "itchy". Thanks for the comments! Erica
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Hey there Rickster...
I had the same thought as Tink; the problem is with this format, you don't really have any more space to get specific (Using VVBV). You could maybe add another bridge or just use a different format IF you want to add details...i like it the way it is now; my only nit (and this is just my preference) would be to have more detail; right now it's just a little too vanilla for me BUT it's solidly written.
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Too vanilla, huh, Blake? I'm gonna have to think on this one. That's two votes for more detail. Man, are you guys nosy! A couple of peeping Tom's. I can't decide if I agree with you guys or not. But it gives me something to consider. Thanks for the comments! Ricki
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Well i think that's just more of my writing style...that doesn't mean you should add more detail; if you like it the way it is (and nothing's wrong with it at all), then i'd leave it. Not every song will give ALL the information all the time...sometimes vagueness is good.
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Hi Ricki, Good steamy one here, but I do agree with Stan. You wouldnt have to be more specific if you didnt give it a reason why it was bad or wrong. Just be wild and not let it be a bad thing. Just some thoughts Take Care Ria ------------------ http://angelfire.lycos.com/amiga/riassonglyrics
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Blake: Well, I think Ria's nailed the problem. I think if I didn't imply it was wrong, folks wouldn't need to know more details. I think. What do you think, since you're one of the ones who wanted more detail? Oh, I sent you an email this morning so look for it!
Ria: I think you may have solved my problem. We'll see what Blake says if he comes back. Thanks!
Ricki
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Hi Ricki,
I think this works fine as a rock and roll kind of thang. Although I'd call that bridge a chorus and slip it in after your first verse. 'Course, that's an "arrangement" issue...
As a point of comparison, I offer a song from the Vaughn Brothers "Family Style" - 'White Boots' by Billy Swan/Jim Leslie:
That's my baby in the white boots That's my baby on the floor That's my baby havin' some fun And yellin' more, more, more
That's my baby in the short skirt Wo, out of control Ah, she becomes another woman When she rocks & rolls
She's having a good time Goin' round & round She's really rippin' it up You know she can't sit down, oh no
That's my baby lookin' so good You know I can't explain How when she's dancing in the white boots It makes her go insane
It's simple and it don't really point any moral fingers at anybody that I can see... And I love listening to it. Even more, I love playing it! Great dancin' tune. Your "Dangerous Mood" has the same kind of potential 'feel' to me...
hobes
hobes
"Every time I sit down to write a lyric, when I stand up I feel three pounds lighter" - Alan Jay Lerner
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This is really good, Ricki! I likes. One line explaining why her lust is wrong would do the trick. Just mention a ring on his finger or your finger or whatever, that's all. I'd take the title line out of the bridge to differentiate it more from the verses. You might wanna try a ABCB rhyme scheme in the verses too. That would give ya eight lines in each verse instead of seven and give ya rhyme for the title line in each verse. And nit-wise, "tonight" doesn't quite rhyme in the last verse. Really nice job here overall! This is 90-some percent there already, IMO. Anthony
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Hobart: Well, I can't complain about my song having the same feel as one you love listening to and playing! I'd considered using that bridge as a chorus. Now that you brought it up, I'll have to think about it some more. Thanks for the comments!
Ricki
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Anthony: I knew somebody would call me on the title in that bridge. To be honest, I didn't want it in there, but couldn't come up with anything that rhymed that I liked, so I stuck that back in there. I figured if noone mentioned it, I was home free. Didn't happen. And you could have said "mention a ring on his finger or HER finger" instead of YOUR finger, there, Anthony. I'm gonna give that a try. 90% there on something that only took me an hour to write is sounding pretty good to me! Thanks! Ricki
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Hi Erica! Well I've read your lyric and all of the above comments. Now I'm gonna be the old stick in the mud I guess by offering a different look. I'm not sure how many artist really want themselves pictured as being lustful over someone who is married. Or even worse being married and being lustful for someone other than your spouse. If you want this person to look bad that will surely do the job though. Seems to me it's not far off the way it is. I think still there are women whom can relate to the moral issues. They don't want to be thought of as "sluts", a crude term. Maybe it's old fashion but that's my call. Nice song though but I like it as is!
David
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David: Well, that is one of the reasons I left it vague. I didn't have a problem saying she was doing something she shouldn't, but figured I'd leave the details in the air. That way those who can tolerate more can imagine more and those who cant', won't. Of coure, now I don't know what to do. Gotta take a step back and let it sit a little bit, I think, then come back. Thanks for your input, David! Erica
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Ricki, First off...I must say...I`ve seen your picture...your not all EARS! LOL! I like this steamy little ditty...course, don`t I usually! I had no problems with it at all as-is. I had an after-thought/bridge/tag kinda idea for you. Trade off my chastity belt, For two tickets to Hell, I`m in a dangerous mood. Just a thought...the Bad Dan told me to write that. Nice write, dream date. Dan
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Bad Dan, huh?. Now he's my kind of man! Where are my tickets?! Glad I could steam things up for you this afternoon. Thanks for taking a look and for liking it! Dream Date p.s. still waiting to read that monogamy song. get on that, would you?
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Hello Just wanted to say I kinda like Hobarts suggestion about making the bridge the chorus and putting it after the 1st verse too. I've inspired one or two of these kinda songs myself
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Jim: Well, is that so? The next time my muse won't cooperate, I know who to call. Thanks for the comments. Erica
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