JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 2 What If I Hadn't Said No?

What If I Hadn't Said No? - Final
Words & Music by Amanda Stevenson, BMI
Copyright 2006.

[Female Vocal - Light Rock Ballad]

"What If I Hadn't Said No?"

[Verse A-1]
I was singing our song
To a bride and a groom;
They were so much in love
Their joy filled the room.
This beautiful pair
Was amazing to see:
Cuz the groom looked like you,
And the bride looked like me.

[Chorus]
Their lingering kiss
And warm loving stare
Made me remember
Our sweet love affair.
I broke your heart
When I let you go.
Oh . . . What If . . . I Hadn't Said No?
What If I Hadn't Said No?

[Verse A-2]
I was singing our song
With the boys in the band.
The bride touched his cheek,
And the groom kissed her hand.
Oh, night after night,
And again and again,
I am forced to relive
What I said to you then.

[Chorus]
Their lingering kiss
And warm loving stare
Made me remember
Our sweet love affair.
I broke your heart
When I let you go.
Oh . . . What If . . . I Hadn't Said No?
What If I Hadn't Said No?

[Bridge]
Your loving me was taken for granted.
A husband and kids didn't fit in my plan.
How could I think just singing my songs
Was better for me than a wonderful man?

[Chorus]
Their lingering kiss
And warm loving stare
Made me remember
Our sweet love affair.
I broke your heart
When I let you go.
Oh . . . what if . . . I Hadn't Said No?
What If I Hadn't Said No?

[Coda]
What If . . . I Hadn't Said No?!

[Thank you to John Voorpostel. Special Thanks to Ava Terjanian on Songwriting.org. Thanks Annie.]

[Dedicated to Sheila Jordan.]

[This message has been edited by BigAppleLyricist (edited 03-20-2006).]

BigAppleLyricist that is great really liked it.

------------------
Randall Burchett

Thanks Randall. It was dead last on my songlist. I re-wrote it about 20 times in the last 2 days.

Ava Terjanian on Songwriting.org pinpointed my mistakes.

[This message has been edited by BigAppleLyricist (edited 03-06-2006).]

Well, there is finally a new beat to your writing,

good 'un but are the bride and groom the same in both verses??

also second last line in the Bridge seems a tad too long?

I also think the singer requires a better reason than singing, to stop her from marrying her love.

annie

The bride and the groom are very important.
She is a wedding singer. She didn't want a husband. She wanted a career but now every night she's forced to face her biggest mistake. It's a tragedy. A real blues ballad but with a new beat.
Women in big cities keep saying NO if they want a career. This is a statistical fact.
Women got married at 19 in 1960, and closer to 30 nowadays!

[This message has been edited by BigAppleLyricist (edited 03-06-2006).]

Great song! Excellent. On first read through it seems perfect. I do see the point of singing might not be good enough reason for her to have said no, but then again, that's probably why she is now wondering how she could have made such a big mistake.

Thanks. I just reviewed PlanetSide. I love your title. But you have to simplify.

The whole point of the song is that she didn't have much of a career. She's a wedding singer!

When she dumped him she envisioned being a great singing star.

Now she haunted having to see all the happy couples and she has NOBODY!

I like that. Planned to be a star singer, ended up a wedding singer. Constantly reminded of her mistake.

Rereading the lyrics, I see the hints that I missed. It's got such rich irony to it, maybe it should be brought out more, that she was planning to be such a great star, and that she now sings at weddings every sunday. possibly expand the bridge a couple of lines.

Sandy,
So this has a 2006 copyright....means, unlike
most of your recent posts, this is a new one. Well, it's the best I've seen outta you in a good while! With nice music, this could be the one.....

Thanks Guys. The melody is really beautiful. It keeps getting better.

Why couldn't I take what you granted

is a better opening line for your bridge IMO.... puts it in the past, and clearly states your current thought...


Ciao

Why couldn't I take what you granted?

John,
I really don't understand that line. Please explain.

This is the Bridge.

[Bridge]
How could I take you for granted?
And why wasn't love in my plan?
How could I think just singing my songs
Was better for me than a wonderful man?

Hi Amanda...

Presumable you are addressing the love you left behind in the opening line, so to say "how could I take you for granted" is to ask the question in present tense..."have taken you for" would be past tense....


And as the crux of your dillema is "what if I hadn't said no", the line I suggested re inforces that...in the past tense...

Why couldn't I take what you granted (ie your love)


Hope that clarifies my thoughts...good theme and execution btw...


Ciao

nice write Amanda ,this song had excellent flow and a real nice feeling to it ,good luck with it and have a great evening

Thanks Java.

John - your sentence [exactly as written twice] makes no sense in the English Language
"How could I take WHAT YOU [?] for granted."

Although your explanation, on the other hand of the past tense - DOES make sense and I appreciate that - and will address that dilemma immediately.

Thank you, John.

I think it's a better bridge now.



[This message has been edited by BigAppleLyricist (edited 03-20-2006).]

Actually the "granted" was meant as "a grant", a "gift", and not "for granted"

ie my suggestion was "why couldn't I take what you "gave me"


But simply fixing the past tense works. Glad I could help

Ciao

Neat story, very well told. I'm always impressed by your ability to put the listener/reader in the moment. Good one Amanda!
T

Thanks a million. I take all criticism and anything positive seriously.

I write for an audience.