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We Knew

I met her in the K-Mart line
She asked me for the time
I saw she didn’t wear a watch
Neither did I

Her eyes were brown, with hazel sparks
And saw something in mine
We walked out of that store that night
With one thing on our minds

We knew, we knew

Love comes along in funny places
When we least expect it will
Sneaks right up and touches us
And oh, my, what a thrill
Takes a chance on circumstance
Then leaves it up to you
To grab it, quick, before its gone
We did, oh yeah, we knew

We knew that night, that’s right, first sight
Some say that can’t be real
But twenty years here down the line
Nothing’s changed the way we feel

Still her brown eyes sweep me up
And make it hard to breathe
Not once, not once, have I thought
I could ever leave

We knew, we knew

Love comes along in funny places
When we least expect it will
Sneaks right up and touches us
And oh, my, what a thrill
Takes a chance on circumstance
Then leaves it up to you
To grab it, quick, before its gone
We did, oh yeah, we knew

In shopping malls or office halls
At traffic lights or classroom nights
When you least expect it to
It WILL sneak up on you

Just the way we knew

Love comes along in funny places
When we least expect it will
Sneaks right up and touches us
And oh, my, what a thrill
Takes a chance on circumstance
Then leaves it up to you
To grab it, quick, before its gone
We did, oh yeah, we knew

We knew, oh yeah, we knew

©2004 Michael Thomas Ellis

Hey Michael

well said, well done, Bravo, Kusos to you!!!!

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http://www.ampcast.com/music/26305/artist.php

I really, really like this, Mike! So sweet and very commercial. I love: "We knew that night, that’s right, first sight" and this whole stanza:

Still her brown eyes sweep me up
And make it hard to breathe
Not once, not once, have I thought
I could ever leave

I think the bridge could probably use a little more punch, but other than that, this is just great.

Now, get some music!!!

Erica

Hey Micheal,

This is pretty good. A coupla things that strike me. The line "neither did I" feels too abrupt. I think the 4th line of the chorus and the lst 2 lines of the last verse (not once...) could be stronger. I'm not sure about the bridge, may be OK, but it feels more like a tag to me. Good luck with it

Bill


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We too often throw around the word "great" like it was a frisbee, instead of the manhole cover it should be.

Afternoon Michael,

This is sooo good, and commercial ... You just need to tighten up that first verse/stanza. It needs to be stronger to pull people in.

Good luck with this.

dawg

I met her in the K-Mart line
She asked me for the time
I said it's time to catch the moment
before it passes by



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http://www.ampcast.com/music/26305/artist.php

Hello Micheal..
Excellent write..No nits from me...
very commercial..very sweet..love it

Smile

Pretty much agree with the other guys. Very nice.

Could do a blues versions, change the title to we didn't..(Ahem) I'll let myself out.

Well, thank you, Sweet, for the Kusos but I gotta ask, what's a Kuso? Is that sort of a cross between a kiss and a kudo? If so, I hope you're a transplanted European. Glad you liked and glad you logged in to say so!

Actually Mike a kuso is a japenese dish much like fish and chips and i was saying that you piece was yummy.

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http://www.ampcast.com/music/26305/artist.php

Ahh, Erica, you're just prejudiced. Funny thing about that line you like, I wasn't sure it would go over well. Didn't seem like a writer's line, if that makes any sense. As for the bridge, got any suggestions? Do you think the list idea is the wrong way to go? Is it too short? That third line harkens back a little too closely to the chorus, although I am trying to link them together. Too similar? All ideas welcome!

Music? Ah, yes, the other half.

Hey, Mr. Bill. I do, do, do appreciate the comments. I'll explain that first verse in a minute. I'm not sure which part of those last two lines of the last verse have you scratching your chin, the repetition of not once, or the last line, or the thought itself. The repetition is important, because I see the singer singing the second one head tossed to the sky in declaration, so it's gotta stay. But maybe he could say something more interesting in that last line. I'll think on it. And Erica's wondering about that bridge a little, too, so maybe I need to give it some thought, too.

Now, that first verse. I knew someone would have something to say on that, and with good reason. From the writer's eye, it's off pace. But I don't hear it with a writer's eye. I hear it as more of an intro, slower tempo, with a pause after the third line (grabbing a couple of meters in the process), then that last line, and then the instrumentation picks up, the tempo quickens, and we're off into a more midtempo song from that point on. Maybe that makes more sense that way, I don't know. I've been known not to! Thanks again!

Dawg! A soooo good coming from you is a real daymaker, let me tell you. Hopefully, I answered with Bill up above my slightly askance view on that first verse. If anyone shows an interest in it, I'm sure they'll straighten me out if it doesn't work as sketched. That is, if I get off my butt and try to do something with it. Ricki darlin' keeps trying to land a boot there and get me moving. So far, it's a case of immutable object, but she can be an irresistable force, so who knows?

Lo! More Sweet! Interesting suggestion! Might be a tad early (and brash!) for him to bring it up, though.

Smile and Tony(?). Thanks for stopping by and registering! Dreamland time. Goodnight!