JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Train Song

thought I'd try to get in on NBT records, train CD they are doing. My brother's a train engineer in Indiana, he helped me write this one. I know nothing about trains.(forgot the title) "The Last Run" next to last on the page.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=100639





Theres a cannonball leaving for Detroit, traveling through the night
with a nickelplater on the line, it's sure to arrive just in time tonight.
It's a FastFreight flying down the rail, all clears up ahead.
With a little luck it won't be long, run her hard then put her down to bed.

Chorus:
Last run through Indiana, time to go home.
just 200 miles then I'll be going home.
just 200 miles then I'll be going home.


Thirty years of riding on these rails, bound to take it's toll.
This whistle don't seem quite as loud, as it did a million miles ago.
On standby almost half asleep, when I get the call.
Stumble to the telephone, almost trip on something in the hall

Chorus:
Last run through Indiana, time to go home.
just 200 miles then I'll be going home.
just 200 miles then I'll be going home.

There's a trainmaster waiting with my watch, 30 years in Gold.
The boys down at the union hall, joked about me gettin way too old.
Watched the Good Lord as he did his work, sending down the rain. Sunshine to Ohio's corn, Indiana's amber waves of grain.


Chorus:
Last run through Indiana, time to go home.
just 200 miles then I'll be going home.
just 200 miles then I'll be going home.

Repeat Chorus:
Last run through Indiana, time to go home.
just 200 miles then I'll be going home.
just 200 miles then I'll be going home.


[This message has been edited by Louis (edited 04-21-2006).]

Hey,
Pretty cool. You got a good vibe going on. I just put one together for the Train Label too!

------------------
www.soundclick.com/MichaelHollomonBand

Hey cool, thanks Michael

Hey Louis:

I really liked the melody on this. And the lyric seemed authentic too. Like that little riff on the guitar. Seems like a keeper to me.

Scott

Good one Louis I didn't catch this train before..
Its so weird cause I had a dream last night I was on a train.
Like the guitar rhythm, speeds up then slows down for the chorus..

Sub

Thanks Scott, my brother helped me with some train lingo on this.

Sub, yep, that's the train you were on

Hi Louis,

This is a good song. I've got no nit's about the song itself.

I personally don't like the guitar part. In a song like this, you need to hear the train in the guitar part. You only 'hear' the train in this tune during the interludes. Your guitar gets too simple when you sing IMO. The guitar needs to be way more rhythmic throughout IMO. Picking up the tempo just a bit might help also.

Sorry... It's really a very good tune though.

My 2¢,

Ian

Thanks Ian, I'll strum with it some more see what comes up. Yeah some driving guitars would be cool.

Hi Louis,

Sweet melody and great concept. Singing it from the perspective of the train itself is an interesting and unique approach - I like it. Best wishes for getting this on the CD!


------------------
Clint
http://www.soundclick.com/clintanglin

Clint "Singing it from the perspective of the train itself is an interesting and unique approach"

I didn't, but it's a great idea.

Hi Louis,
I like the lyric and your voice (as I've remarked before) is definitely getting stronger and more confident. I have to agree with Ian about the rhythm though - something more like dum DAH dum/dum DAH DAH would give more of a train feel. Do you have double-tracking facilities? I ask because I think this would also benefit from some harmonies on the chorus. It's a good one, Louis but still needs a bit of fixing-up to raise to a great one.
All the best,
Bob

Louis--I like the guitar definitely. Especially the way you play it during the verses.

Did you intentionally vary the rhythm like that? Just curious.

It's darn good one. I liked it, my friend. Bob

------------------
http://www.soundclick.com/bpficklen

Thanks Bob, I'm practicing strumming now, I can hear a diff.. my fingers sure are getting tired.

Thanks Terribob, I just kindof stummed single downward stroked on the chords in the last part of the verses, just being lazy

Dang dude....you can sure write!This would be great produced!Bluegrass style

Thanks Michael, just re-did the guitar track, kind of old timey pickin.. Even used a pick.. Still workin