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by Fdemetrio - 04/25/24 01:36 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/24/24 10:25 AM
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by Sunset Poet - 04/24/24 08:09 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/23/24 12:41 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/22/24 11:04 AM
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by Rob B. - 04/21/24 08:40 PM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/20/24 03:22 PM
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Joined: Mar 2006
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[This message has been edited by janice green (edited 04-09-2006).]
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Hi, Janice -
Welcome aboard.
I agree with Joanne on the labeling. I see bridges and choruses (I think), but it would help to know how you intended for them to fit together.
In the opening verse, I eould lose "need" in either line 1 or 3 and replace it with a different rhyme.
There are some other stanzas that have no rhyme at all. Is this intentional?
Give us a little input, please. You have a good idea and some good lines. There are a lot of people here who are terrific writers and will come with good suggestions. cue
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Need rhymes? i don't know verses from chorus, but I see repeats! BZ ----- Removed for lack of acknowledgement B
[This message has been edited by buzzard (edited 04-05-2006).]
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thank you for the input . I have written several .
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Joined: Jan 2001
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<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by janice green: thank you for the input . I have written several .</font> Hey again Janice - I would gladly offer input if you would take the time to put the lyric in a format which is easy to decipher.. check out many of the other posts ... It takes time to put out a good critique on lyrics a writer has worked hard to create ... I find it very difficult to follow the lyric as posted unlabeled in all caps ... Putting the words in a song format would be very helpful to the reader, making it easier to quickly note song & rhyme structure ... saving lots of time! Looking forward to future posts Joanne ------------------ [*]The Best is Yet to Be,Joanne Lurgio-singer/songwriter www.joannelurgio.com [*] Joanne's Gig Calendar - http://www.musi-cal.com/search?key=performers&value=Lurgio [*] http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=100751 [*] www.cdbaby.com/cd/lurgio [*] MySpace - www.myspace.com/joannelurgio [*] www.cdbaby.com/group/justplainfolks[This message has been edited by Joanne (edited 04-03-2006).]
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I removed all the rhyming assistance I posted for you because of no acknowledgement which is like a slap in the face when you are taking critiques from, and sending thanks to, others. Buz
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Joined: Mar 2006
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buz I really appreciate all your input . I am trying to get the hang of all this . Only joined last week . It kind of overwhelming to me for now. especially appreciated your info about the copy write . please except my apologies sincerely janice green
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