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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 05/01/24 01:05 PM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/25/24 01:36 AM
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SOLITUDE (improved)
©luna simone
v1 I am the here and now and being Away from daydreaming I'm leaving What's died in me is fine without grieving
v2 Cause love may not be all I need But I felt how my smallness went to extremes It takes a lot to learn to do the impossible But pain is only essential to discover where losing faith gives you belief.
CHORUS Never wanted to be wanted Quite so much Until I let go of my greatest fears To become alive and free And find the solitude in me
v3 I am the here and now and being Away from daydreaming I'm leaving What's died in me is fine without grieving
v4 It used to be I needed love That dashing men were all I dreamed of My needs became confused with wants And singledom defined my lack of trust
CHORUS Never wanted to be wanted Quite so much Until I let go of my greatest fears To become alive and free And find the solitude in me
CHORUS Never wanted to be wanted Quite so much Until I let go of my greatest fears To become alive and free And find the solitude in me
I am the here and now and being Away from daydreaming I'm leaving What's died in me is fine without grieving
BRIDGE No longer blind To what I’m seeing The truth from the lies That keep me lost and hurting The past is gone and I can’t change the future So self love is my guide And I’ll follow its leading
(instrumental break)
(rep v1) I am the here and now and being Away from daydreaming I'm leaving What's died in me is fine without grieving
REP CHORUS Never wanted to be wanted Quite so much Until I let go of my greatest fears To become alive and free And find the solitude in me
Never wanted to be wanted Quite so much Until I let go of my greatest fears To become alive and free And find the solitude in me
Never wanted to be wanted Quite so much Until I let go of my greatest fears To become alive and free And find the solitude in me
Never wanted to be wanted Quite so much Until I let go of my greatest fears To become alive and free And find the solitude in me….
Last edited by LunaAesthetica; 11/05/19 04:01 PM.
Aries. INFP-T. Artist of all trades. Listener and creator of vast, unexpected musical genre writings/compositions. Art is the journey of a free soul. -Alev Oguz http://soundcloud.com/lunasimone
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Some nice things here. I DO think it could use some editing as it would be difficult to place a coherent melody when line lengths are different. I get the vibe, but the chorus may be contradictory: lost your fear and want to be wanted but solitude implies being alone. I feel it needs to show a logical understandable progression from start to finish.
Best of luck! -Mike
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The line about wanting dashing men really hit home for me here, and could possibly even ignite the flame to produce an answer lyric as I constantly craved the company of women through much of my life. Just recently I was saying that if I were ever to write an autobiography the title would probably be "Ladies' Man Dreams" as that was the lifestyle I often aspired to yet never came close to achieving. I am often guilty of focusing on the negative aspects of my life, which many say is not good, and that by changing your perspective, things may not look as bleak as you thought, which seems to be the ongoing message in this piece. Interestingly, my thought for today reads: do something for yourself today that lifts your spirits and brings you joy.
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Definitely some hooks in there worth using, but it seems like this song is built on two choruses as verse 1 is really a chorus that get repeated multiple times.
Some arrangements might justify singing the chorus 4 times at the end - have to see how that sings.
The last line of verse two has no rhythm to it to work with the rest of the lines. Could be worked out but you're definitely relying on the performance there to give it any feel.
Checked out your soundcloud channel and its mostly instrumental in varying genres. What kind of feel are you thinking of for this?
Last edited by Marty Helly; 11/21/19 07:07 PM.
Marty my home Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again!
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Hi Simone, Some very good ideas in this but the flow is off for me in some lines. I am a lot about syllables and the easiest way to make a song flow is to stretch them because if you put in too many it feels like you are cramming the words together. Your solitude is being happy being by yourself, and it is true that you have to love yourself before you can love another because you have to believe yourself worthy of love. If you can find a way to bring that out in this it could be very good. I also agree that 4 chorus in a row is too many. I usually do 1, the an instrumental break, 8-16 bars, and a chorus out with a tag. It seems to work well. As with any comment, KOS!
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