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by Fdemetrio - 04/25/24 01:36 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/20/24 03:22 PM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/20/24 12:36 PM
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Joined: Aug 2018
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Thank you all for listening. Comments are welcome https://soundcloud.com/domenic-mercurio/momemnts-of-desire-7april-17-1 Moments of Desire (v1) You want someone who can Set your soul on fire During those moments of desire (v2) The reason you think you exist And you become a frequent flyer During those moments of desire (chorus) Desire comes in many shapes Some can be hard to escape Some can lead you astray Controlling your night and day It may not be what you need But it’s what you require During those moments of desire Could be gambling is your game But you keep betting higher During those moments of desire (chorus) ending Maybe you’ve had many lovers But some were worse than others But it seems you never tire Searching for those moments of desire Searching for those moments of desire
Last edited by Mimmo; 04/27/19 08:23 AM.
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Morning, Dom:
I read the lyric first, then listened. I like the song very much and encourage you to consider it a "work in progress" because it is so close to the "musical finish line." My "issues" are with the recording and not the song. We tend to put our hearts and souls into our work, forget to turn up (or down) the volume here and there in the various tracks before "mix-down" and something prevents total success from being achieved. Nothing wrong with the melody or tempo.
You are nearly there, my friend. Don't give up on this one. I enjoyed my listen and want to hear it again. Thanks for sharing. ----Dave
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Morning, Dom:
I read the lyric first, then listened. I like the song very much and encourage you to consider it a "work in progress" because it is so close to the "musical finish line." My "issues" are with the recording and not the song. We tend to put our hearts and souls into our work, forget to turn up (or down) the volume here and there in the various tracks before "mix-down" and something prevents total success from being achieved. Nothing wrong with the melody or tempo.
You are nearly there, my friend. Don't give up on this one. I enjoyed my listen and want to hear it again. Thanks for sharing. ----Dave Hi Dave...Hope you're doing well... Yeah it's not nearly the final mix, still lots to be done. I posted so I get some feed back and then go from there. It is someone else's music and also the lyrics...I just made a few changes in the lyrics to fit the music and the singing of course. Thanks for listening Mimmo
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Mimmo,
This has a wonderful melody as does most all of your work. Your passion always comes through, but then, being from Italia, it's in your DNA!
I do have a couple of optional producing sugs and they are just opinion, not so much crits. I think you could benefit from a more subtle drum track--maybe brushes on the snare with Hi-Hat. This song doesn't really need the drums to be noticed too much. Where to put guitar solos--no one way for sure. Though many great songs center them, and that is fine especially when they are featured through a busy mix, I like them panned about 30-40% right or left depending on the mix balance. Your vocals are strong centered, and even though there's no competition between vocals and guitar solo, you might experiment and pan it slightly to one side. For me it feels like the other guy in the band just stepped forward and his amp was not centered perfectly and adds some additional interesting balance to the mix. Just a thought, and not at all imperative.
Always enjoy hearing your singing style,
Best Regards,
steady-eddie
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Hi Eddy... Thanks for your comments. I'm still working on the mix, I can't do much about the tracks I have as they where produced by someone else. I am doing the mixing..
Usually the solo, if there are no vocals I put it in the center, I've always done that. On stage I'd move at side and let the guitarist take my spot. If there is singing along then I would move the guitar a bit to the side. I will try it when I do the next mix and what it sounds like.
Thanks for taking the time to listen. Mimmo
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Mimmo,
This one sounds pretty good to my ears . . a strong start. I agree with Eddie that the drums are maybe a bit too prominent, but I like the piano and the lead guitar on the instrumental—those are pretty spot on. Also, really digging the harmony on the last line of the chorus. Keep working the mix and I think you'll have a really nice tune here. Thanks for sharing.
Best regards,
Deej
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Thanks Deej!!!..
I'm still working on it and trying different things with the mix.
Thanks for listening and your comments. Regards Mimmo
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Updated first post....New mix up
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Mimmo, some ideas to consider.
Moments of Desire (I wonder if 'Moment', singular, would be better, "Moment Of Desire")
(v1) You want someone who can Set your soul on fire During those moments of desire (in your Moment Of Desire) (By saying 'your' the Singer Character becomes a counselor to others. I wonder if he could 'own' it himself, "In MY Moment Of Desire")
(v2) The reason you think you exist (The reason you exist: Same number of syllables/notes as VI Line 1.) And you become a frequent flyer (become a frequent flyer: closer to matching syll/note count. Or "You're a frequent flyer") During those moments of desire (in your/my Moment Of Desire)
(chorus) Desire comes in many shapes Some can be hard to escape Some can lead you astray Controlling your night and day It may not be what you need (need and require seem the same thing. Maybe "not what you want" But it’s what you require (Delete 'But'?) During those moments of desire (in your Moment Of Desire)
Could be gambling is your game (Gambling is NOT your game. Syll/note count) But you keep betting higher (Delete 'But'?) During those moments of desire (in your Moment Of Desire)
(chorus) ending (A final Musical Movement is called a Coda)
Maybe you’ve had many lovers But some were worse than others (But?) But it seems you never tire (But?) Searching for those moments of desire (Searching for your Moment Of Desire) Searching for those moments of desire (Searching for my Moment Of Desire)
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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Moment of Desire
(v1) You want someone who can Set your soul on fire in your Moment Of Desire
(v2) The reason you exist you're a frequent flyer in your Moment Of Desire
(chorus) Desire comes in many shapes Some can be hard to escape Some can lead you astray Controlling your night and day It may not be what you want" It’s what you require in your Moment Of Desire
Gambling is NOT your game. You keep betting higher in your Moment Of Desire
(chorus) (Coda)
Maybe you’ve had many lovers Some were worse than others It seems you never tire Searching for your Moment Of Desire Searching for your Moment Of Desire
Moment of Desire (Letting the Singer-Character 'own' it.)
(v1) I want someone who can Set MY soul on fire in my Moment Of Desire
(v2) The reason I exist I'm a frequent flyer in my Moment Of Desire
(chorus) Desire comes in many shapes Some can be hard to escape Some can lead ME astray Controlling MY night and day It may not be what I want It’s what I require in my Moment Of Desire
Gambling is NOT my game. I keep betting higher in my Moment Of Desire
(chorus) (Coda)
Maybe I’ve had many lovers Some were worse than others It seems I never tire Searching for my Moment Of Desire Searching for my Moment Of Desire
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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Hi Gary...Thanks for listening and for your suggestions. Regards Mimmo
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Hi Mimmo Love this your voice is always spot on the arrangement and melody equal. Good song all round Regards John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hope your op went ok i've messaged you Cheers John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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John Thanks for listening and your comment.
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Hi Mimmo Love this your voice is always spot on the arrangement and melody equal. Good song all round Regards John Thanks \John...I'm sore but moving around with help from pain killers. watch tv and rest, out side is still cool and wet, raining today. Talk soon Mimmo
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Hello Mimmo,
The song's style is very reminiscent of a song Roy Orbison would do. The vocals are nice and expressive. You could turn the drums down slightly in the mix (I always put my drum programs up too high). Of course, I only listened to your 1st version on Soundcloud. For some reason, I couldn't pull up your music on the second version.
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Hello Mimmo,
The song's style is very reminiscent of a song Roy Orbison would do. The vocals are nice and expressive. You could turn the drums down slightly in the mix (I always put my drum programs up too high). Of course, I only listened to your 1st version on Soundcloud. For some reason, I couldn't pull up your music on the second version. Hi JaneK, thanks for listening...In the mix on the other link I did turn down the drums volume...Later I will move the last mix on Soundcloud
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Fixed the links, I moved the last mix in the Soundcloud account.
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