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Thank you all for listening.
Comments are welcome

https://soundcloud.com/domenic-mercurio/momemnts-of-desire-7april-17-1

Moments of Desire

(v1)
You want someone who can
Set your soul on fire
During those moments of desire
(v2)
The reason you think you exist
And you become a frequent flyer
During those moments of desire
(chorus)
Desire comes in many shapes
Some can be hard to escape
Some can lead you astray
Controlling your night and day
It may not be what you need
But it’s what you require
During those moments of desire

Could be gambling is your game
But you keep betting higher
During those moments of desire
(chorus)
ending
Maybe you’ve had many lovers
But some were worse than others
But it seems you never tire
Searching for those moments of desire
Searching for those moments of desire

Morning, Dom:

I read the lyric first, then listened. I like the song very much and encourage you to consider it a "work in progress" because it is so close to the "musical finish line." My "issues" are with the recording and not the song. We tend to put our hearts and souls into our work, forget to turn up (or down) the volume here and there in the various tracks before "mix-down" and something prevents total success from being achieved. Nothing wrong with the melody or tempo.

You are nearly there, my friend. Don't give up on this one. I enjoyed my listen and want to hear it again. Thanks for sharing. ----Dave

Hi Dave...Hope you're doing well...
Yeah it's not nearly the final mix, still lots to be done. I posted so I get some feed back and then go from there.
It is someone else's music and also the lyrics...I just made a few changes in the lyrics to fit the music and the singing of course.
Thanks for listening
Mimmo

Mimmo,

This has a wonderful melody as does most all of your work. Your passion always comes through, but then, being from Italia, it's in your DNA!

I do have a couple of optional producing sugs and they are just opinion, not so much crits. I think you could benefit from a more subtle drum track--maybe brushes on the snare with Hi-Hat. This song doesn't really need the drums to be noticed too much. Where to put guitar solos--no one way for sure. Though many great songs center them, and that is fine especially when they are featured through a busy mix, I like them panned about 30-40% right or left depending on the mix balance. Your vocals are strong centered, and even though there's no competition between vocals and guitar solo, you might experiment and pan it slightly to one side. For me it feels like the other guy in the band just stepped forward and his amp was not centered perfectly and adds some additional interesting balance to the mix. Just a thought, and not at all imperative.

Always enjoy hearing your singing style,

Best Regards,

steady-eddie

Hi Eddy...
Thanks for your comments.
I'm still working on the mix, I can't do much about the tracks I have as they where produced by someone else.
I am doing the mixing..

Usually the solo, if there are no vocals I put it in the center, I've always done that. On stage I'd move at side and let the guitarist take my spot. If there is singing along then I would move the guitar a bit to the side.
I will try it when I do the next mix and what it sounds like.

Thanks for taking the time to listen.
Mimmo

Mimmo,

This one sounds pretty good to my ears . . a strong start. I agree with Eddie that the drums are maybe a bit too prominent, but I like the piano and the lead guitar on the instrumental—those are pretty spot on. Also, really digging the harmony on the last line of the chorus. Keep working the mix and I think you'll have a really nice tune here. Thanks for sharing.

Best regards,

Deej

Thanks Deej!!!..

I'm still working on it and trying different things with the mix.

Thanks for listening and your comments.
Regards
Mimmo

Updated first post....New mix up

Mimmo, some ideas to consider.

Moments of Desire (I wonder if 'Moment', singular, would be better, "Moment Of Desire")

(v1)
You want someone who can
Set your soul on fire
During those moments of desire (in your Moment Of Desire)
(By saying 'your' the Singer Character becomes a counselor to others. I wonder if he could 'own' it himself, "In MY Moment Of Desire")

(v2)
The reason you think you exist (The reason you exist: Same number of syllables/notes as VI Line 1.)
And you become a frequent flyer (become a frequent flyer: closer to matching syll/note count. Or "You're a frequent flyer")
During those moments of desire (in your/my Moment Of Desire)

(chorus)
Desire comes in many shapes
Some can be hard to escape
Some can lead you astray
Controlling your night and day
It may not be what you need (need and require seem the same thing. Maybe "not what you want"
But it’s what you require (Delete 'But'?)
During those moments of desire (in your Moment Of Desire)

Could be gambling is your game (Gambling is NOT your game. Syll/note count)
But you keep betting higher (Delete 'But'?)
During those moments of desire (in your Moment Of Desire)

(chorus)
ending (A final Musical Movement is called a Coda)

Maybe you’ve had many lovers
But some were worse than others (But?)
But it seems you never tire (But?)
Searching for those moments of desire (Searching for your Moment Of Desire)
Searching for those moments of desire (Searching for my Moment Of Desire)

Moment of Desire

(v1)
You want someone who can
Set your soul on fire
in your Moment Of Desire

(v2)
The reason you exist
you're a frequent flyer
in your Moment Of Desire

(chorus)
Desire comes in many shapes
Some can be hard to escape
Some can lead you astray
Controlling your night and day
It may not be what you want"
It’s what you require
in your Moment Of Desire

Gambling is NOT your game.
You keep betting higher
in your Moment Of Desire

(chorus)
(Coda)

Maybe you’ve had many lovers
Some were worse than others
It seems you never tire
Searching for your Moment Of Desire
Searching for your Moment Of Desire

Moment of Desire (Letting the Singer-Character 'own' it.)

(v1)
I want someone who can
Set MY soul on fire
in my Moment Of Desire

(v2)
The reason I exist
I'm a frequent flyer
in my Moment Of Desire

(chorus)
Desire comes in many shapes
Some can be hard to escape
Some can lead ME astray
Controlling MY night and day
It may not be what I want
It’s what I require
in my Moment Of Desire

Gambling is NOT my game.
I keep betting higher
in my Moment Of Desire

(chorus)
(Coda)

Maybe I’ve had many lovers
Some were worse than others
It seems I never tire
Searching for my Moment Of Desire
Searching for my Moment Of Desire

Hi Gary...Thanks for listening and for your suggestions.
Regards
Mimmo

Hi Mimmo
Love this your voice is always spot on the arrangement and melody equal.
Good song all round
Regards
John

Hope your op went ok i've messaged you
Cheers
John

John
Thanks for listening and your comment.

Thanks \John...I'm sore but moving around with help from pain killers. watch tv and rest, out side is still cool and wet, raining today.
Talk soon
Mimmo

Hello Mimmo,

The song's style is very reminiscent of a song Roy Orbison would do. The vocals are nice and expressive. You could turn the drums down slightly in the mix (I always put my drum programs up too high). Of course, I only listened to your 1st version on Soundcloud. For some reason, I couldn't pull up your music on the second version.

Hi JaneK, thanks for listening...In the mix on the other link I did turn down the drums volume...Later I will move the last mix on Soundcloud

Fixed the links, I moved the last mix in the Soundcloud account.