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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2 |
IT’S TIME (FOR ME TO SING THE BLUES)
c2018 Brian Beecher
Words fly in your head and out of your mouth Our relationship is going south It’s time for me to sing the blues
Without much effort on our part The saddest thoughts can fill our hearts It’s time for me to sing the blues
Sometimes we need to stop the flow And offer kindness, so it goes It’s time for me to sing the blues
Without much effort on our part For our thoughts to become sharp It’s time for me to sing the blues
To each other we’d always belong Now we’re singing a different song It’s time for me to sing the blues
Without much effort on our part The saddest thoughts can fill our hearts It’s time for me to sing the blues
Always a part of everything At one time you made my heart sing It’s time for me to sing the blues
Without much effort on our part The saddest thoughts can fill our hearts It’s time for me to sing the blues
Last edited by beechnut79; 10/16/18 10:38 AM.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,035 Likes: 2 |
Because the suggestion is that you sing because of unhappiness, I thought this suggestion MAY work:
Without much effort on our part The saddest thoughts can fill our heart It’s time for me to sing the blues The second verse doesn't seem to fit with the "blues" line. Third V This line reads like Yoda speak: To each other we’d always belong Fourth V Didn't care for the first line. I wondering if there's enough lyrical variety in this, (VCVCVCVC) May need a bit more work. Best -Mike
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2 |
I accepted the change you suggested in boldface. Will analyze the other parts.
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