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by Fdemetrio - 04/25/24 01:36 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/24/24 10:25 AM
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by Sunset Poet - 04/24/24 08:09 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/23/24 10:08 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/22/24 10:39 PM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/22/24 11:04 AM
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by Rob B. - 04/21/24 08:40 PM
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Fresh Ink feel free to comment.
Beggin' The Sun VS: Aw yeah, a little two lane road With the dial turned up on the radio That auburn torch burnin' up the front seat Spotlightin' them cut-off blue jeans You got this ole boy grinnin' As these wheels keep spinnin' Yeah, I'm lookin' for that hot spot To cut it off when that big orange ball drops
CH: Girl got me beggin' the sun to give in to the moon Wantin' to hold ya to a little country cricket tune Watch the stars land (kick drum) and dance (kick drum) In your pretty come kiss me eyes Givin' this Romeo a chance To make a little magic tonight Time to light up this fun Girl got me beggin', beggin the sun
VS: Yeah, baby your heart in the dark Knows how to beat when we throw it in park What ya say we drop this old tailgate Make a motel, out of this Cheverolet So much fun the time wants to fly I'm throwin' prayers toward that pink sky Old blue moon just hang on Ain't felt like this in oh so long
CH:2 Girl got me beggin' the sun to give in to the moon Still wanna hold you to a little country cricket tune Watch the stars land(kick drum) and dance (kick drum) In your pretty come kiss me eyes Givin' this Romeo a chance To make a little magic tonight Feels so right I don't wanna be done Girl got me beggin, beggin the sun
SEC: I know our future lies in the days ahead but girl you got me just not ready yet
CH: Girl got me beggin' the sun to give in to the moon Wantin' to hold ya to a little country cricket tune Watch the stars land (kick drum) and dance (kick drum) In your pretty come kiss me eyes Givin' this Romeo a chance To make a little magic tonight Feels so right I don't wanna be done Girl got me beggin', beggin the sun
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Joined: Jan 2005
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i'd like to hear this one,sure looks good on paper Brandon.Mike
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Hi Brandon,
Cool write! I like the image of "beggin' the sun."
I'm not sure that the "just not ready" line is needed -- it seems to add a negativity that's not needed!
Nice to see you around here again! Lisa
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Thanks Mike! Gonna get some acoustic done to it soon.
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Thanks Lisa it's been a while. Glad to be back.
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Joined: Jun 2006
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It reads like a modern country song. Good luck with it.
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Joined: Mar 2001
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Hello Brandon,
this is the first of yours I have read. Good that you're back.
This is a fun lyric, and I absolutely love the hook. Very well written, with some very clever lines. Great job. I don't really see where I can suggest anything, that I think would benefit this one. I truly enjoyed the read.
David
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Thanks Jim and David appreciate the stops on this one and the comments.
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Joined: Jun 2013
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Brandon, This looks good. I, like Mike, wanna hear it. Nicely done. Dave
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Thanks Dave, hopefully soon.
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Hiya Brandon,
Seems we've both been MIA, but this sure is a nice one to come back with. No tweaks needed as far as I can tell. Just a strong lyric with some sweet imagery and a terrific hook.
I especially enjoyed these lines:
Girl got me beggin' the sun to give in to the moon Wantin' to hold ya to a little country cricket tune
and
Yeah, baby your heart in the dark Knows how to beat when we throw it in park
I do like how you've quite successfully ridden the line between being suggestive and crude. Good use of some double entendres!!
Anyhoo, nice write. Looking forward to hearing it musicated, and in the meantime, thanks for sharing!
Beth
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